Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Saturday, June 7, 2025

Serious Finale

There’s been years of multiple endings to some long-running serials on TV, regardless of their popularity and quality.  After investing so much time in these shows and movies, complaining about everything that’s been falsely represented, fans are now having to confront the reality of finding new things to complain about.

In a sense, it’s not unlike the reaction to the redacted Mueller Report, which I’d represent in a vein similar to a character of mine: AntiClimax Man.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

Disturbing Stuff: Asexual Zimmerman Fanfic

How could someone introduce an Asexual at the very end of an erotic fanfic?  For those of you curious about the fanfic I mentioned when talking about my Asexuality, I’ll give a rough summary of the general outline I had in mind.  There will be several compressed stories with the humourous highlights left intact.  I tried to make it as SFW as possible without showing any of the images, but large swatches of the narrative still sounds very very dirty.

Fans of Zimmerman’s drawings should have an idea of what I’m referencing.

For those who don’t want to read all the parodic elements and skip straight to the disturbing parts, search for the word ‘Remember’ and read down from there.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Shattered Theory

Lately, I’ve become obsessed with two entertaining forms of Media that I’d long since avoided due to the hype they’d been given, Undertale and Steven Universe.  Two very different but thematically similar entertainment with tremendous crossover appeal.  And I'd been using my spare time going through the rabbit hole of fanart and fancomics, saving whatever I could find later.  Not to mention the numerous analytical essays on the show.  Which is about a Magical Boy being raised by older Space Rocks in the form of Anthropomorphic Women.
Given the description, one could be forgiven for what it'd be like,
rather than what it's actually like.
I'd been watching Adventure Time, and was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the show despite its seemingly childishness and Videogame logic, finding the writing to be on par with early Simpsons episodes.  Which shouldn't have been that surprising, since the writers grew up on those, and pretty much threw everything they were influenced by into their work.
There's a Kitchen Sink in there somewhere.
One of the producers for Adventure Time, Rebecca Sugar, created Steven Universe as a show for her brother, and it's developed a particularly rabid following.  The first time I heard of it, I didn't think much of it, being little more than a Magical Boy show with overt Anime overtones and references.
I’d been annoyed at other American attempts to emulate Anime without understanding the inherent appeal behind the traits they were exploiting. (Hello, Teen Titans)  At the time, it was easy to ignore, since I didn't get the channel it aired on, but once Teletoon started airing reruns, I decided to give it a shot, and was quickly hooked.  Steven can be admittedly annoying with his "Please!  Don't fight!" outlook, but his positive outlook gradually wins you over.

Much like Adventure Time, Steven Universe is pretty much a love letter to Anime, and clearly done by people who’ve played Video Games and aren’t just aping the superficial surface appeal that make them popular.  The show wavers between down-to-Earth stories, and intense internal conflicts.  The early episodes take some time to get used to knowing the characters, but once it hits the halfway point (Mirror Gem/Ocean Gem) of the 1st season, it lays the foundation for what'll happen next.
Doing for Geology what Sailor Moon did for Astronomy.
Each episode is only 11 minutes in length each (save for a few half-hour specials), so marathonning through these isn't as much as a hurdle as you'd think.  The cliffhanger for the 4th Season was so great I broke down and watched the beginning of the 5th Season just to see what'd happen next.  Online downloadable subtitles made this much easier for me to understand what was going on.  But I couldn't make them appear in conjunction with the action on the screen - I just dragged the SRT file into a different window, and scrolled down when the time was right.
...let's say that this is accurate.
If there's a fault with the show, it's that the release schedule for newer episodes is so erratic and arbitrary that hiatus and wait time between only builds greater anticipation onto what's coming next.  Which is hampered by an extensive use of down-to-Earth episodes that are stand-alone, but symbolically meaningful, and sidestepping the overall ongoing plot.  It's a slow burn that requires analysis and probing clues and trying to find meaning wherever they exist.  Having gotten into the show around the 4th Season when there was already a backlog available, I can imagine how frustrating it must've been to wait for the next installment.  Waiting for the latest subtitles to become available was a torturous time between everyone else getting a leg up and wanting to catch up.

In fact, one of my previous blog posts was created as a response to the show.  Especially upon the worry that the 5th Season might be the last Season.  (So far, the 6th Season is all but verified at this point, despite it not being confirmed yet)
This too, is accurate.
So, with the release of the latest subtitles for the big reveal that must’ve been bugging the Universe Crew with the commercial trailers spoiling everything beforehand, I figured now would be the proper time to showcase a radical theory that I’m surprised hasn’t been proposed before.

Spoilers for early 5th Season episodes after the cut.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Another Defunct Scanlation Site

Years ago, I gave tribute to OneManga, who was THE go-to site for seeing multiple Mangas without having to go to the trouble of downloading multiple chapters at a time to see whether these teaser images were worth reading in the long term or not.  At the time, OneManga’s sudden departure was bemoaned and decried over losing such a valued collection of scanlations gathered together all in one convenient spot.
The farewell letter, captured here for posterity.
(Open in another tag for legibility)
Since then, multiple copycat sites have popped up, which I’ll decline to mention.  (Do you own research!  You probably already know where you’re going to get your next fix from anyways!)  One of the most prominent was Bato.  What made them noteworthy was not only their rapid rate of updates, but also for their giving notice to the numerous translation teams that were responsible for making such reading possible in the first place.  This made tracking down the numerous titles these people were in charge of much easier, and prevented plenty of stepping on other projects that were already being worked on.  If a project had been abandoned mid-stream, another team could reasonably pick up where they left off if enough time passed until then.

By far, the most prolific scanlator was the LHtranslation team, which would routinely give multiple titles of the now burdeningly popular Isekai genre.  For those of you not in the know, Isekai is where someone (usually a high-school student) finds themselves suddenly reincarnated or summoned to a Magical Medieval RPG realm where they’re bestowed with game-breaking powers, usually via dying.  In fact, so many of these protagonists have reached this Fantasy land from traffic accidents through a common denominator, Truck-kun.  Ever since Astro Boy, Japan’s traffic accidents have been registered to be safety hazards, with the added benefit of creating genocides in other worlds.  Take heart, random punk from Death Note!  You may have died for arbitrary reasons, but you were probably reincarnated as a God-tier character in another world, so it worked out well for you in the end!

As is the case with any dying craft, the last few hours of Bato were suddenly filled with multiple Mangas making one last chance to fan the potential flames of hope, that the embers might suddenly reignite.  This was especially prominent since the site remained up past beyond its Jan. 18th deadline, prompting uploaders to post as much as they could.

And then the image servers expired, making their contributions essentially worthless.  All that appears are the bolded letters CDN LAX, and even changing the image server using the gear option doesn’t help.  So it’s now official.  Bato is dead, and the shell will be gone by the 25th.  Until then, desperate addicts & hopers (like me) will keep checking back in the vain chance that it might make a miraculous comeback.  But short of someone acquiring the domain name without much hassle, it doesn’t look too likely.

Just before the impressive amount of Mangas finally went offline, I took a look, keeping an eye out for certain titles that caught my eye:

Dr. Prisoner - A Hanibal Lecter type psychopath with Black Jack levels of surgery.
That's a rat he's operating on there.
Virtus - If one sadistic prisoner isn’t enough for you, then how about a whole prison instead?  All the convicts of this manly prison have been warped across time and space to fight in a Roman Colosseum because reasons of coolness.
Believe it or not, the guy in the lower right panel is a pacifist.
Detective Xeno and the Seven Locked Murder Rooms - An amnesiac genius who intuitively knows multiple facts and trivial minutiae, but knows nothing about his past or how he came to be is enough of a cliche at this point that it deserves its own genre.  The first chapter has said main jerk genius figure out how someone accomplished an impossible murder on a - wait for it - baseball pitcher mound.  You can always count on Japan to have their implausible stories on familiar settings within photographicable sight.  He manages to figure out how the crime was accomplished, makes friends with the assassin out to kill him (not the murderer, someone else entirely), and meets his Moriarty... who promptly dies by someone else's hand.  And this is the first chapter!

The World of Moral Reversal  - A quasi-Isekai, where a girl winds up hospitalized instead of killed, but when she wakes up, the gender values for boys and girls have been switched, where girls openly lust after hot guys behind their backs.  As such, expect plenty of examples of unflattering poses from a Female Gaze.

Dungeon Nursery - Another Isekai where a typical businessman is left to fend for himself, and his only weapon is to summon weak monsters that he’s supposed to help level up... but his monsters are weaker than he is.  In fact, the businessman who has NO fighting ability is able to beat up a Goblin that his low-level summon can’t.

Goblin is Very Strong - Take the premise of One Punch Man, and apply it to a typical low-level schulb.  The above could also apply to Helk, a Comedy Fantasy where a buff He-Man character is in a contest for the right to become the new Demon King.  It was remarked for its incredibly fast scanlation, back when it was virtually an unknown.  It started out fairly humourous, but then became tragic with all the sob backstory coming out into play, and the continuous transformation of the Last Boss who kept changing form, names, motivations and Men behind the Curtains that finally finishing it was a cathartic event.
Happier times.
The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic - Yet another Isekai, only, the High Schooler’s been summoned with two other Upperclassmen and is found to have an unnaturally high ability for healing, which is an absolute must in a world that needs to deal with its wounded, so he has to undergo intense training to not just ensure that he survive, but that he’s physically fit enough to endure whatever threats out there are willing to hurt him.  After all, the first rule when dealing with Mob Rushes is “Take out the Healer First.”

I Went to School to Be a Swordswoman, but My Magical Aptitude Is 9999!?  - Another overly long Fantasy title where the concept is spelled out on the tin.  A Girl sets out to become the best Swordswoman the world’s ever seen, only to find out to her horror that her natural aptitude lies not in beating plowshares, but in Magical ability.  Ironically enough, there was a similar Manga, I Said Make My Abilities Average, where the titular character wanted to appear normal, but her Magical ability was too high.  The difference was that the former was much more interesting than the latter, which presented the burden of genius and pressure to adhere to a talent that they’re not particularly interested in.

I’m a Slime - Satirical comic Anime News Nina had a strip that predicted that given the rate of Cute Superdeformed Girls being taken care of their Father figures, there’d be an Eventual progression where they’d become little more than Moe Blobs.  Well, this Webcomic has a literal Moe Blob.  But she's so cute you won't even notice, though you may need insulin later.

Kengan Asura - You know the insane Martial Arts Manga that is Grappler Baki?  Take that premise, and dial it from 11 to 12.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The Appeal of Anti-Climax Man

Fan1: Hey, I haven't seen you around much lately.  What's up?

Fan2: Nothing much.  I've just been preoccupied with this series that's Crazy Awesome and Addictive: Anti-Climax Man.

Fan1: Oh yeah, I think I've heard of it.

Fan2: You gonna give it a try?

Fan1: I dunno.  It seems to have limited appeal beyond its high-concept premise.

Fan2: Dude, you know me.  I don't get heavily invested in anything without good reason.

Fan1: Well, I could, but isn't it only available on some heavily reserved ultra-expensive elitist subscribed channel?

Fan2: It's been leased out to this other channel that you have.

Fan1: Well, it's a later episode, so -

Fan2: Not a problem.  Each is self-contained, while also building on a larger narrative.

Fan1: I'd still like -

Fan2: There's also several online sites showing it for free.

Fan1: I feel a little uneasy about -

Fan2: I also have the DVD sets.

Fan1: Man, it was SO easy for me to ignore when it wasn't easily available.

Fan2: WATCH IT.

Fan1: Okay, okay.  Don't twist my arm.  I'll take a look, but I'm not promising anything.


(Two days later)

Fan2: So, what do you think so far?

Fan1: Well, it's okay I guess.  The guy gets caught up in outlandish scenarios that are resolved in the most banal ways possible.

Fan2: I know!!  Isn't it great?!

Fan1: I thought he'd just win all the time, but I was surprised that he allowed himself to lose on purpose.

Fan2: You have to admit it was an effective way to deescalate the situation.

Fan1: As I said before, its extremely childish.  The supporting cast seem to be more fully developed compared to the protagonist who's pretty much a blank slate for the audience to latch onto.

Fan2: How much of it did you see?

Fan1: ...thirty episodes.

Fan2: HAH!  I knew once you'd get started, you'd find it hard to stop!

Fan1: Well, they're very breezy.  I wasn't too into it at first, but after awhile, it started to grow on me.  Frankly, I was surprised at how quickly I blazed through them.  I'll give it another thirty episodes, but if things haven't improved any, I'll quit.


(A week later)

Fan1: The later seasons are completely INSANE.  There's so much Tension involved.  And Anti-Climax Man is always so blasĂ© about it!  I'm always screaming at him to look at the Apocalyptic Disaster he's completely unaware of, just so he can resolve it in that pithy underhanded manner he always does!

Fan2: NOW do you see why I like it so much?

Fan1: I'll say!  I never thought I would become so invested in this so much!

Fan2: I'm particularly impressed with the emotional heft the characters have.  For being rather broad caricatures, there's a surprising depth to their relationships.  Who they were at the beginning of the show are completely different to how they are later on.

Fan1: For me, it's all about the constantly building pressure in every episode.  How long can they prolong the situation before Anti-Climax Man resolves it?!  And he's always in the wrong place!!  LOOK TO YOUR LEFT!!


(A month later)

Fan1: It's absolute torture waiting for new episodes to come up.  I've been compulsively rewatching the early episodes picking up subtle clues that've been sprinkled throughout.

Fan2: Even the lousy episodes?

Fan1: Well, maybe not those, but definitely the high quality ones.  I've made amusing crossover Fanfics because I've been dreaming about it in my sleep!

Fan2: Yes.  Revel in the pain. 

Fan1: This was your plan all along wasn't it?  To draw me into this Fandom just so you'd have someone to compare ulcers with?

Fan2: Consider yourself lucky - I got into it when there were fewer episodes than there are now.

Fan1: I didn't even know it existed, but now I can't imagine not having this show in my life.

Fan2: Well, don't get too complacent.  There's been rumours that this might be the last season.

Fan1: Are you kidding me?!  There's still so much untapped potential!!  Not to mention so many unresolved plotlines!!!  Are we ever going to find out what that mysterious item in the warehouse was supposed to be?!  How can they possibly wrap everything up in just a few episodes?!

Fan2: As I said before, it's still hearsay.  The sponsors have been complaining that the side characters have been taking over the show.  Anti-Climax Man hardly ever shows up anymore.

Fan1: But that's the whole appeal!!  It's seeing these lesser competent guys deal with the increasingly heightening drama the only way they can that further ramps up the suspense!!  Anti-Climax Man's presence would resolve things way too soon!

Fan2: Well, sponsors don't always understand what their viewers are so passionate about.  And the viewer numbers have been dropping.

Fan1: Because it's constantly in reruns!!  And... (checks rating numbers) each episode STILL gets at least two million views!!

Fan2: If it's any consolation, we had a good run.  And we can still spread word about the show through word of mouth.

Fan1: I tried to get my friends to get interested in Anti-Climax Man.

Fan2: And?

Fan1: They just laughed in my face for trying to convince them to watch a silly children's show when they've got more serious Adult entertainment suited for them.  The fools.  I tried to make it as easy as possible for them to jump in, but they resist any attempt to even give it a sidelong glance!

Fan2: Sounds like a certain somebody I know.  Weren't you just complaining that Anti-Climax Man was in danger of becoming formulaic and predictable?

Fan1: I wanted excitement, but Not Like This!  I've been checking the news feeds every day, checking every #Anticlimaxman tag on an hourly basis.  The suspense is terrible.  I hope it doesn't last.

(Ding)

Fan2: Sounds like another hit just registered.

Fan1: Probably just another article about making your very own Anti-Climax character.  As if I didn't have enough - (Gasps)  It's news about the creator of Anti-Climax Man.

Fan2: Looks like something happened to the guy.

Fan1: I can't look.  What does it say??

Fan2: It says...

TO BE CONTINUED.... (maybe)

Friday, October 20, 2017

Disturbing Personal Project: THIS IS THEY

Frequent visitors may have noticed that I haven’t exactly been updating my blog as much as I would’ve liked to.  This isn’t from a lack of subject material - indeed, I have TOO MANY potential comics to choose from, and finding the proper comics is somewhat of an uphill struggle.

But another potential reason (other than being involved with Real Life stuff and marathoning several TV series) is that I’ve been preoccupied with a personal project of mine, a WebNovel that I just recently started; THIS IS THEY.  Fitting that this should happen during the month of Nanowrimo where people take the challenge to submit a writing project of fifty thousand words to motivate them into jumpstarting the writing process.

The act of writing a whole novel from the base up can seem like a daunting task for those not used to the craft, but there’s a simple way out of this - simply start writing anything - ANYTHING, no matter how bad it is.  Get into the habit of writing so it'll be easier as it goes along, and get the bad stuff out of the way.  Deliberately creating bad writing out of the hopes that something good might come from the ashes.  Just keep writing and writing until the sheer amount of material overwhelms what you have.  Write until you can’t write any more.  Write crap to get the crap out of the way, so you can focus on the good stuff.  Failing that, write crap intentionally so that it’ll be so bad that it’ll ironically be good.  Since I mostly deal with humour, this kind of rationale comes easily to me.

Of course, that’s not exactly my method.  I prefer to think things through, and like to know where I’m going.  As long as I’ve got a rough outline of my story, and can see the potential plot threads tying together, I can write whatever comes to mind.  The trick is putting all those thoughts in a coherent manner that makes sense.

I’d been wanting to share my stories for some time, but had no knowledge of a reputable site that would allow chapters to be read in chronological order.  Eventually, I decided on WordPress after seeing another WebNovel there, but the site is remarkably user unfriendly, and as such I only have an index, and chapters, which are the same thing.  For the time being, you can access the next chapters by clicking the "Next Post" links near the bottom of the page, but I'd like those to be higher up.  Until someone helps me format the site to my liking, it’s gonna remain in Beta stage for now.

I’d been wanting to do this since my first foray into creating a quasi-history of Anime in America by it’s reluctance to be accepted, and portray various Anime characters as caricatures of Pokemon, since that was the Anime that caused the Japanese import to explode in popularity, and would result in mainstream acceptance of thinking that ALL Anime was Pokemon.

My intent was to have the artistic style start out as American, in 9-panel Watchmen format, which would be completely blown apart during the instances that Otakus - people who’d been possessed by Fansubs - would have to be exorcised via a secret organization devoted to keeping Anime from getting popular, run by their mysterious shadowy founders, The Rabbit & The Mouse, who would constantly bicker over their seating.
“By all rights, my chair should be higher!”
“Your ears are at the same height as mine.”
Once the Possessed Otaku would be taken care of, the panels would go “back to normal”, but slightly and subtly changed every time throughout the years 1990-1999, becoming more angular, allowing for bleeds and experimentation.  My intent was to show that despite wanting to remain original, we become more influenced by our surroundings than we care to admit.

Sadly, I had to shelve this ambitious project, since I had no way of sharing my ideas with anyone on a similar wavelength to mine.  Even after doing a Prequel and a Sequel to the main story.  The main story would be inspired by American comics, the Prequel Shojo Manga and the Sequel Shonen Manga, but I hit writer’s block after being unable to do proper research on the mostly oral history of Anime in the 70's, which was before my time.  Also, the mass Xenophobia aimed towards Anime had largely passed over in rise to the latest generation being unaware of the biases toward the medium.  Someday, I might post samples of what I had planned if anyone’s interested.  (Hint hint!)

Getting back to my main topic...

My WebNovel inspiration comes from the numerous Isekai Manga, where some hapless schulub gets reincarnated or summoned into a Fantasy World where they become Overpowered Author Avatars in an RPG Fantasy setting gaining more powers and an ever-growing harem, the most famous of which is Re:Monster, which while enjoyable for its world-building, has its fair share of problematic issues regarding treatment of women, very much in the same vein as Paladin of Shadows, which prompted a reviewer to mention the numerous quotes of “John Ringo, NO.”

Most of these Isekai Manga first took the form of WebNovels, one of my favorites that spurred me on was Kumo desu ga, nani ka? (So I’m a Spider, So What) a series that I tended to compulsively reread.  And I’m notoriously finicky, so this was something that greatly appealed to me.

My inspiration for doing so was from Berkley Breathed’s creative process that led to the birth of Bill the Cat - an unashamed abomination of Garfield that was intended to be a major turn-off that wound up being the opposite outcome.  I figured that the best way to find success was NOT to rehash whatever media was wildly currently popular (Vampires, Wizards, Ninjas), but to venture into realms that hadn’t been explored because no one ever dared try.  Also, it was borne from the frustration of not finding enough reading material that appealed to me.  There’s an old saying that if something you want to read hasn’t been written yet, go ahead and write it.  After this, some people may want to rethink that particular inspirational quote.

Basically, I wanted to create something that would be considered utterly unmarketable.  A cross between LoveCraft and Kafka.  LoveKafka, if you will.  I figured that the surest way to commercial suicide was to combine the traits of two highly regarded literary giants into one comprehensive package.  People may praise their contributions, but when it comes to actually buying their works, their sales numbers are remarkably low, save for stylish snobs and record-keepers.  I’d combine the Alienation of LoveCraftian lore with the darkly humourous workings of Kafka.

The stories I do aren't considered normal stories, by any stretch, though they take a lot of inspiration from multiple sources.  People do all kinds of darker material compared to the lighter stuff, which appeals to some audiences down where their tales don't get told because there's no perceived market for them, and are considered too dark and/or depressing.  My WebNovel also took inspiration from Dirk Manning's Nightmare World, an Anthology collection where the stories are loosely connected.  Though at this point, it’s still in its early stages, and will take a while before the connections become obvious.  I’d always been more in love with the IDEA of The Twilight Zone than it’s actual execution.  My stories probably slant slightly towards The Outer Limits, but with a stronger humourous bent and better writing.  Updates will sadly be slow in coming given my high quality control, and my tendency to write notes for future chapters not fully fleshed out yet, and notes strewn all over the place.

I'm still not crazy about the layout, and Wordpress isn't as intuitive as blogspot is.  I only used it, because another WebNovel, ParaHumans, had the chapters in its sidebar, as well as having everything in Chronological order.  I've yet to figure out how to format it the way I want to.

Ironically enough, my impetus for doing this was inspired back when Obama was still in office, and the world had yet to encounter the stigma of continuous impending doom.  Instead of instilling an ever-encroaching sense of increasing stats and new abilities, I wanted to convey the sense of powerlessness in the face of overwhelming power.  Instead of exploring a futuristic world that would just as likely become false within several generations, I wanted to take the opposite tack, and explore Universal themes that would still be relevant far into the future.  Keen-eyed readers will recognize that my inspiration for the first story in my WebNovel is actually borne from an early issue of Transmetropolitan.

At this point, you may be wondering just what THIS IS THEY is actually about.  Well, that's difficult to describe without spoiling anything.  If you haven't been successfully scared off yet, here's the link to the first chapter again.  Future chapter updates (and influences) will be noted in due time.
I actually wanted to use the font from below on top, but was unable to figure out how.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

A Confederate of Dunces

In the latest transparent attempt to deflect attention away from his numerous political blunders and his ties to Russia and Tax Returns, Trump decided to up the amp by trash-talking North Korea into inciting Nuclear War.  But that apparently wasn’t enough, because he then decided to incite a second Civil War within his own country.  One, that was probably long since coming.
"Don't worry.  Everything is fine."
The Charlottesville Rally was prompted when a Confederate General statue was going to be taken down.  Apparently, some people wouldn't take that lying down, making a stand through an intimidating show of force, consisting of marching around the area while chanting hateful screeds and carrying store-bought Tiki Torches.  Not even bothering to make their own - no, they had to use another culture's brand in order to preserve their own.
An unaltered still from the X-Men cartoon series.
Season 5, episode 13, "Hidden Agendas," originally aired Sept. 13, 1997.
They've even got Tiki Torches and Red Hats.
"Couldn't you get any pitchforks?"
"They only sell those at a discount to Immigrants, for some reason."
"They must be aligned with the Devil. That's the only reason I can think of."
The Charlottesville Rally was such a failure that it resulted in the outing of multiple White Supremacists who were identified, and later found themselves fired, disowned by their families, and wound up crying for being called out on their calls to incite violence.    It seems that it finally took the radicalization of dissatisfied youths and the unprovoked attack by car and death of a young white girl to finally shock the public out of their contemplacy.  But the real hitter was Trump’s hesitation in outright denouncing what should’ve been obvious from the outset, wanting to wait two days to “get all the facts”, when he’s condemned people in less time.  (Usually just an hour after meeting them)  Trump's great reluctance in condemning the Tiki-Nazis - an action that should've been a no-brainer for anybody with a single lick of common courtesy or political decorum.  But as we've seen time and time again, Trump has none of that self control, and his tactic of "Saying it like it is" made him unable to do the right thing, even when it would've helped his image.
Alt-Right reaction to Trump's condemnation:"He probably really doesn't mean it!"
But he couldn't even maintain the illusion long enough before he came crawling back into his warm hole of outrage, saying that "Both sides were complicit and to blame" for the violence.

NO, they're not equal!  One side called out for the suppression, eradication and removal of races not their own, while the other side wanted to stop such violence from taking place.  And the result of the latter was one of the Tiki-Nazis to drive a car unprovoked into a crowd, injuring many, and killing one.  In any other situation, a tragedy like this would normally go unnoticed as “Boys being boys”.  Instead, the Charlottesville Rally was labeled as Terrorist Incitement, and actually hastened the taking down of Confederate Statues, either by Government or by long-simmering protesters, when they would’ve normally been left alone.  Defeating the original intent of the gathering.


"We're Superior! Why should we have to work for it?! Let other unworthy ones out there do the tasks we don't have to soil our dainty hands with!""Then we can complain how they're not doing it right, without ever showing them how it could've been done better!"

If Hillary Clinton had been President, then all this aberrant behaviour would've been decried as being "perfectly normal".  But with an unabashed Racist-in-Chief in the White House empowering his base, we can no longer afford to stand back with a jaundiced cynical view, and pretend any of these outdated views are anything but normal.

And then Trump backtracked even further, saying that statues of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson would've been taken down next, since those guys owned slaves too.  More false equivalence.  The difference being - the former politicians helped found the United States, while the Confederates wanted to tear the country apart.  Apologists for the Confederacy say that the war they fought was for land, self-determination, not the right to own slaves.  For people who constantly tell Hillary Clinton supporters that "You lost, get over it!" they seem surprisingly reluctant to take their own advice.

“If there are any Nazis or White Supremacists who are "also very fine people," as you say, could you be bothered to NAME them?”
"Of Course! There was... George Washington! A Fine Upstanding man who also happened to own slaves. And Thomas Jefferson, who - "
"Any RECENT fine upstanding men?"
"Apart from me, who has never owned slaves or joined any Rallies, I can't think of anybody more upstanding than me. Other than Putin of course."
“Did you just - ”
"Hamilton! And Frederick Douglass!!  They probably owned slaves, amirite?"
It was suggested that the best way to get rid of the Confederate Statues was to tell Trump they’d be replaced with sculptures of himself.   They’d all be gone by tomorrow.
“I AM THE GREATEST CONFEDERATE GENERAL IN HISTORY! AND DON'T LET ANYBODY FORGET IT!!! General Grant? Looked a lot like me. Lee? We share a remarkable resemblance. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson? They could be mistaken for twins. All photos and statues shall be replaced with my Beautiful Beautiful look for historical posterity, and be surrounded by Beautiful Women. All Tens. No Nines.”
"This is not what I meant when I said
I wanted to be surrounded by pretty birds!"
All this happened during the course of what should’ve been his 17-day Vacation.  During the Month of August, which is normally the most Boring political month of the year.  If THIS is what counts as boring, then what’s coming up must be so truly mind-blowing it’ll make the last three weeks look like a prologue you'll page-flip through to get to the main action.

It took this little for the people to finally proclaim that they wouldn’t stand for this any longer.  Did this finally get through your thick skulls?  Did you finally get it??  Did you finally learn?!?  And even this much is still not enough to penetrate some people's mental defenses.  Such as Omarosa Manigault who tore up about her Black friends abandoning her once she revealed she supported Trump.
"I used to be able to prove I wasn't Racist by pointing out my Black Friends!"
I have to admit my ignorance in this, since I knew practically nothing of this, since US Confederacy is a very different beast from Canadian Confederation.  Also in being divorced from overhearing what other people say (especially behind my back), I've never been fraught with this kind of upbringing, so understanding the irrational rationale behind this is all kinds of illuminating.
"'Racist' is the N-word for white people."
I've heard it said that the difference between America and Germany's approach to homegrown war crimes is that the Germans were constantly reminded of their history - the atrocities their people did before they were born, outright slaughtering Jews & other races, while the rest of the population looked the other way because they were scared - and the Americans weren’t.  Americans were never forced to face up to the harsh treatment they endowed upon their slaves, looking at the scarred backside of an indentured servant who displeased their masters over slights real or imagined.  Instead, they were spoon-fed a false history where they were cheated out of clear victory without ever having those facts challenged or verified.  Usually in museums that offered a hyped up war with a slanted view of the past.  And once you have those views challenged, the immediate reaction to the threat against their fragile well-being, they respond back the only way they know how - with threats and violence.

Which isn't easy, considering how Racist acts tend to be rewarded more than punished.  Movies such as The Lone Ranger, Ghost in the Shell and Gods of Egypt, which normally would have had visible minorities in these roles, but were replaced by White actors in an unashamed way of White-washing.  Even when it's been consistently shown that minorities are a big draw for those crowds representing them, and when appropriating stories that include them.  There are more than enough Black Slaves and Black Hood stories done that it becomes uncomfortable in itself.  How about having one about a Black Man tasked with Saving the World instead of some White dude?  Already, there are people complaining about upcoming Marvel movie, Black Panther, because it meant there would only be Thirty-Six Movies about Heoric White Saviors instead of Thirty-Seven.  You've already got all those other Action movies.  Let them have their day in the sun.
A totally unidentifiable unrelatable improbable main character.
As an example of the above, the producers behind Game of Thrones, which had its fair share of problematic elements of portrayal of White Saviors, and extended Rape plot elements were signed on for their next show, Confederation, showing an alternate reality of what would've happened if the South won the Civil War.  This is potentially dangerous, since Blacks are already living in such a reality.  It's not like The Handmaiden's Tale, which shows Female repression with Religious slant that's already happening, since it's from the viewpoint of the prisoner.  This show would be from the viewpoint of the oppressors - whose line of thought towards lesser races would be that these "uppity people need to learn their place".  Which is particularly annoying for those of us who've been decrying about Trump's toxic thinking from Day One.  It's like saying that their insights don't matter until a White Person says it for them.
Perpetual Headline:
"This was Trump's Worst Week."
Postdated from Last Week. 
A far better option would be the sales pitch for Black America, which sounds much more interesting:
“It envisions an alternate history where newly freed African Americans have secured the Southern states of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama post-Reconstruction as reparations for slavery, and with that land, the freedom to shape their own destiny. The sovereign nation they formed, New Colonia, has had a tumultuous and sometimes violent relationship with its looming ‘Big Neighbor,’ both ally and foe, the United States. The past 150 years have been witness to military incursions, assassinations, regime change, coups, etc. Today, after two decades of peace with the U.S. and unprecedented growth, an ascendant New Colonia joins the ranks of major industrialized nations on the world stage as America slides into rapid decline. Inexorably tied together, the fate of two nations, indivisible, hangs in the balance.”
Chances are the general reaction from surrounding States would be something like when whole Black towns were wiped off the map and their history erased.  Ironically and fittingly enough, in Charlottesville of all places.  For those who’d want to see what a Black civilization that’s not under threat of being dominated or overruled by Whites, check out Aya of Yop City.  It features a wide array of differently shaded people on the Ivory Coast in a Soap Opera Setting.

All of this is just a longwinded way of getting to what I really wanted to show - a brief 4chan board post on their Political Forum.  4chan usually indulges in Unpolitically Correct memes, and one of these was Make Slave Master Journal Entries in the style of recent twitter summaries.  I've taken the liberty of taking some of the funniest comments and softening some of the more hateful language, but otherwise, the message remains on point. For anyone who's culturally sensitive, feel free to skip this section.  For those who want to skirt the boundaries of humour and good taste, feel free to take the plunge.

Chances are, this is pretty close to what Confederation would be like:

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Pale Originals


Adam West of Batman fame just recently died, and I instantly thought of my first exposure to the man.  Since I never saw any of the original episodes and they weren't captioned, I felt no attraction to the show.  And the parts that were aired were only in French, and annoyingly enough to me, always ended on a cliffhanger, leaving me with no way of knowing how they resolved themselves, because I wasn't invested enough to find out in the first place.

This wasn't the only instance that MAD had a former iteration of a cartoon character knock off their more popular knock-off.  However, while going through these endings, I noticed a certain difference.  In these live-action adaptations, it was the cartoon character who wound up being responsible for the execution of these half-hearted adaptations, which failed to capture the essence of the originals.  The only exception was the cheesy live-action role, compared to the Animated Bruce Timm Batman, who ironically enough, would be the definitive Batman for a later generation.

Incidentally, this post's title is a reference to an ambitious Fanfic I had where three beloved comic characters who were replaced by lesser versions of themselves were mysteriously gathered together.  The three included Dream, who was replaced by Daniel...

L, who was replaced by Near...

And Farley, who was replaced by Edgar.  Interestingly enough, there are hardly any drawings of Edgar all by himself.

In which a gathering of three beloved individuals indulge in small talk (of which they are sorely inexperienced in) and are accosted by a menacing figure who eventually reveals the reason they've been summoned in its presence
For years, I had this scenario set up, but never had the proper focus to put all three of them in a proper dialogue, despite the comedic potential.  Recent events have made this scenario redundant, and near the end of these incomplete drafts, you'll see why.

Some notes to explain the following pacing of the intended speech patterns,
Lord Morpheus talks in a slow dramatic voice.
L talks in a serious deadpan.
And Farley is... Farley.
(A pale mist surrounds a sparse grey field.  A shadowy figure steps from the fog into the clearing where a young man is crouched in an awkward sitting position)
You have summoned me, and I have reluctantly come.
I summoned you??  I thought YOU called me.  I've been waiting this whole time.
Not possible.  I have no knowledge of needing your services.
Well, if it wasn't you, and it wasn't me, then who WAS it?
(Farley happily walks upon the scene)
Unless that animal is our mysterious gatherer, I doubt we'll be getting any answers soon.
In that case, we should ask a few questions, see if there's any common links between the three of us.
Very well.  The session of Pale Originals is now in session.
Pale...?
We’re the original models that was later copied unsuccessfully in our unfinished stories.  The ones left in our place are Pale Imitations, hence the title.  I was replaced by Daniel.  You were replaced by Near.  (Conjures picture) And Farley was replaced with this dog.
My God.  Farley’s replacement looks white as a ghost!
That’s Dixie, Edgar's son.  Edgar is over here.

**************************

You're doubtlessly the lord and master of the dream world, and the representation of Dream itself.
That's a... surprisingly specific way of describing my role.  I'm curious as to how you arrived at that conclusion.
You're nothing more than a hallucination brought about from the bad cupcake I had last night, and manifested yourself as the Ghost of Christmas Future, skipping straight ahead to my worst-case scenario, so you can tell me how I've made some bad decisions in my life.
You don't seem very surprised to see me.
Please.  I've seen a literal God of Death.  After a monstrosity like that, you're practically easy on the eyes.

**************************

I must confess, you’re one of the few creatures who rarely entered my realm.
(Sips cup of coffee)  It's not like I NEED to sleep.  Like Kafka's Hunger Artist, I'd do more of it if I enjoyed it.
(Farley looks questioningly at L’s hind quarters)
Yes, I do have chocolate in my pants, and no, you can’t have any.
(Farley looks crestfallen, and keeps staring intensely)
Isn’t it uncomfortable keeping sweets in that position?
Better in my pockets than out in the open where what little remains is instantly slobbered up.  Why don’t you conjure some up from within that mystical cape of yours?
I have no desire to consume such product.
Even better.  (Rips open a sugar packet, & pours small contents on the floor, which Farley greedily slobbers up)  You like that huh?  Well, Lord Morpheus over there is made of sugar.  (Tosses sugar at Dream) Sic him boy!
(Farley lunges)
(Reeling, throwing turkeys, salami & other assorted meats in his direction) Back, foul creature!

**************************

I’m curious... what do you look like through Farley’s eyes?
That noble beast has spent far too much time among humans.  What you see before you is how he sees himself.
Really?
Well, minus the wagging tongue & fluffy cheeks, but I have no desire to show you that.
(Through Farley's eyes, Dream looks like his human self with Farley's Head on his shoulders)

(Farley looks at thrown ball thrown from Dream go over an arc, then bounce to the ground multiple times until it comes to a stop)
Do you not grasp the concept of 'fetch', little creature?  An object is thrown, you expend all your energies chasing after it, leaving me alone for a brief moment of time until you return, at which point I repeat the procedure until you collapse out of sheer exertion or exhaustion, whichever comes first.
Forget it.  I've been trying to teach him mathemathical logic for ages.  If you want him to go away, you're going to have to magic up some food and send it flying.  And if possible, save some in my general direction.  I'll catch.
You are both beginning to wear on my patience, but it'll remove the beast's affections from my premises, I'll oblige.

My sister was quite enamored by your exploits.  I confess, I’ve rarely seen her portrayed in such a comical manner.
Your sis - then that Shinigami was female??
Yes, but that wasn’t my sister - I mean - she wasn’t - It is difficult to explain.

**************************
Then, the mysterious figure would make its presence known:
I have summoned you here for the sole purpose of observing you.  Just carry on like I'm not here.
This is preposterous.  I have far more important things to deal with.
Like what??  You're retired now.
Well... I have to brood around a bit!  And those garbage pails aren't going to empty themselves!
Dude, they've been sitting there for a week now.
I was waiting until I felt like it!
Then, it'd be revealed that the mysterious figure that'd summoned them turned out to be a Pale Original himself:
Back!  Back!  Don't pull back that curtain -
Farley doesn't listen, and keeps tugging away at the cloak of the intimidating figure.  The cloak falls away, revealing an elaborate structure underneath, consisted of a system of pulleys and puppet strings being manipulated by a black & white figure at the very top:

Then, he'd reveal his motivation:
Opus: Of all the Pale Originals, I’m probably the only one who’s been reused by the same creator - three times! And each time I was brought back, there were complaints I wasn’t as good as I used to be.  Confidently speaking, I suspect it was because my nose size increased each time.

Opus: I figured that if I got all three of you together, I could figure out some kind of magical formula that made you guys so popular in the first place.  So far, I've been stymied and stumped.  Stumped and stymied.  That sounds like a good band name.

Opus: As far as I can see, it's basically acting aloof to your surroundings, while also being aware of everything going on, yet being absolutely clueless.  I'm not so sure about the first two, but I'm a master at the last one.  I think.

Opus: Farley looks kind of lonely.  Could you show him a little affection?
Like what?
Opus: Well, his owner used to speak to him in baby-talk, calling him Farley-poo, is he a little Wuzzer?  Yes he is!
(L reluctantly brushes a single finger over his fur while monotonically praising him with baby names, while Lord Morpheus simply stands idly by)  Is Farley a lint-ball?  Is Farley a smelly dust-rag?  Is Farley a nonsensical-sounding word?  Yes, he is. Aren’t you going to do anything?
I glanced at him without invoking the ire of 15 Gods, 10 demons and 5 lawyers.  That’s affectionate enough for me.

(Bonus cameo: Death meets Ryuk)
Ryuk:  Huh.  You look pretty important.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

A Little Pick-Me Up

Okay, complicated personal pun coming up.

A few days ago, I was doing some basic grocery shopping. I bought some stuff I was running low on (or what I figured I should stock some more of). I bought some Tomato sauce, some Pizza bits, and Raisins in a box. However, my backpack was getting pretty full on account of filling it with so many books, and I was worried about getting the pages warped from the frozen Pizza bits.

So I piled most of the smaller stuff on top, and the top-heavy stuff near the bottom.

When I got home, I was horrified to find out that the zipper in my backpack (where I was carrying everything) had unzupped (I know that's not a real word, but it should be) to the point where my books fell out.

I was extremely nervous about the prospect of having to retrace my steps to find anything missing. Fortunately, none of my library books were gone, and I put my Pizza and Tomato sauce away.

It was only later that I realized that I forgot about the box of dried fruit that I put on top, and that must've fallen out from behind me.

In other words, I lost my Raisins through my Derriere.
Normally, the story would end here, but it turned out there was more to tell.  I posted the above on Social Media, with little reaction from my small circle of friends.  My family was more receptive, and two days later, I got a text from my Mother saying she was out shopping, and asked if I wanted any raisins, and wanted to know if I'd gotten any more.  I gave her a reply... one hour later.  By then, she was no longer in the store.

Later, my Father confronted me, saying he had something interesting to tell me, and asked me an unusual question: Did I happen to lose a box of Raisins recently?  Because when he went out to get the mail, he noticed that there was a box of Raisins just sitting on top of the mailbox, where I went a few days earlier.  He figured, "Hmm.  Somebody's lost their Raisins.  Good thing it wasn't me."

It was only later that he heard the story from Mom that I posted earlier, that he put two and two together, and figured that two missing boxes of Raisins was too much of a coincidence.

Incidentally, I looked around that same area a day later, but was looking more at the ground than on any overhead flat surfaces, figuring that if anybody happened to chance upon a gift of free food, they'd jump at the opportunity to make it their property.  But our neighborhood is so safe and offense-free that no one bothered to steal a container of sweet dried fruit.

So basically, I knew that a box of Raisins fell out of my backpack, and so did my Mother.  My Father knew some books fell out, but didn't know about the lost Raisins, since he doesn't frequent online opinions much.  He also knew that there was a box of Raisins on the mailbox, but didn't think it was mine.  As he said later, we all had bits of information, but we hadn't quite put all of them together.  Very much like those Soap Operas where characters do foolish actions due to complete misunderstandings.  And you're mentally screaming at these characters for not revealing their innermost thoughts.  "SHE LOVES YOU, YOU IDIOT!!  CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!  ONE SIMPLE PHONE CALL COULD RESOLVE THIS WHOLE STUPID SITUATION!!"  But the audience has the luxury of knowing what the cast doesn't know, and being aware of the conventional cliches the players are totally blind to.  It's not that smooth in real life.
So, my Dad went back to the Mailbox to see if the Raisins were still there.  (Spoiler alert, they totally were)  He joked that since they were out in the sun, they'd been dried even further.  Though the moisture from the plastic casing when it rained the other day probably offset it somewhat.  Even though they'd been out for a good two days, they still tasted pretty good.  A simple matter of rewashing the wrinkled grapes and putting them on a plate to dry off was enough for me.  I paid a good $4.00 for these Raisins.  I'm not letting them go to waste.

And by total coincidence, today is National Raisin Day.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Harry Potter Relay

Lately, I've been going through my old stuff, transferring whatever files I have that are still readable onto new memory devices before they get infected or die out from data rot, viruses or planned obsolescence.  In the process of digging through, I came across an old story in 2006, back when Harry Potter was exploding in popularity in the form of a Fanfic between two artists, Ryuuen and Akane.   The former using full-body style art, and the latter using Chibi-like art.  (If either artist wants said offending images removed due to embarrassment, let me know)

Now, back then, I wasn't entirely privy to the risks and rigours of the Internet, being fearful of potential Trojans, Worms and Spies attached to downloadable material, and the thought of having my saved pics be available for the world to see (on the Family Computer, no less) was something of a major dilemma.  Not to mention I didn't like the idea of having to constantly click to enlarge the image every time.  So, I would copy the image, and then paste it on a Word document, which I could then view at my leisure later.

This wasn't always perfect, since it involved having to open said images in Internet Explorer first (Netscape wouldn't allow it for some reason), and there would be an annoying downtime for the picture to load  To counter this, I would scroll past all the pages I'd already done, and then go all the way back up and read from the start.  I had entire volumes of Hikaru no Go and 20th Century Boys done like this before I figured out more efficient ways of viewing these stories.  (The data space for the Word documents holding these volumes were bigger than the individual pages themselves)

While pasting the images in Word substitute programs was relatively simple, retrieving said images was more of a pain.  I had to highlight said image, then choose the Edit Image option, and THEN paste said image onto a Paint document for easy viewing.  This was the same strategy I employed to retrieve my Sprite WebComics earlier.

The process to undergo this was labourous and time-consuming, and I didn't begin to seriously consider undertaking a hefty project until the prospect of losing such things became a very real possibility.  That, and my Vista computer is currently disconnected from the Internet.  I couldn't connect even if I wanted to.  (And I want to)

Technically, there IS another HP relay comic out there, but most of it (by the author's admission) is pretty lousy, and she says doesn't exactly improve until the 20th installment.  Considering that there's only 32 parts so far (since 2007!), reading that is an optimal endurance course.  And nowhere near as fun or interesting as the pages I've got here.

More silliness after the cut: