Potential Asexuals: Schroeder

One of my drafts for a potential blog entry was exploring how the cast of Peanuts wound up influencing the character designs for other famous comics, even if they weren’t obvious or intentional.

Charlie Brown - Krillin from Dragon Ball.

Sally Brown - Emily Elizabeth from Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Lucy - Cathy’s sales clerk, Mabel

Linus - Izzy from Digimon.

Marcie - Honey from Doonesbury.

Peppermint Patty - arguably Marie Kanker from Ed Edd and Eddy.

And working backwards in terms of influence, Schroeder was likely inspired by Little Lord Fauntleroy.

However, the major difference between Schroeder and those snobby upper-class twits is that Schroeder never lorded his piano talent over his friends, essentially remaining one of the gang, even as his obsession may have weirded them out.

It was argued that Schroeder’s obsession with Beethoven and music was a reflection of Schultz’s dedication to crafting the Peanuts comic strip.  But the wonderfully versatile nature of Peanuts makes them widely open to interpretation.  If the model fits...

Another rationale is that Lucy is simply too unlikable to be with even in the best of times, being too much of a fussbudget (to put it politely), and that these are children, too young to engage in any serious romance.  But the rest of Peanuts is filled with unrequited longing for unattainable lovers.  Of the larger secondary cast of Peanuts, Schroeder is the only minor character who isn’t actively interested in pursuing unrequited romance with anyone.  His devotion to Beethoven is entirely one-sided, secure in the knowledge that the composer died out centuries ago, his masterpieces preserved to be absorbed and appreciated.  (Also, Beethoven is the only adult face to regularly appear in Peanuts.)

Who else would buy busts of Beethoven in bulk?

I looked up online to see if anybody else explored this theory further, and was surprised to only find a single Reddit question.  The closest alternative in exploring his alleged sexuality was in a blog entry showing potential homoeroticism, the only flaw being that Schroeder never displayed any affection towards any of the boys as well.  So with that in mind, let’s break down the fundamentals of why I feel Schroeder is a potential Asexual candidate.

The most obvious example is that Schroeder displays little to no interest to the girls leaning on his piano, finding them more of a distraction and tolerating Lucy at best.

Schroeder isn't totally ignorant about matters of love.  He simply doesn't have any inclinations towards it.

The only time we see him flustered is when he’s complimented for his looks, but that could easily be a result of being unaccustomed to being praised for something outside his skill set.

For the most part, Schroeder's fraught relationship with Lucy consisted mainly of Lucy making up the majority of the conversation, resulting in a monologue while he whaled away on his piano, hunched over in a Glenn Gould manner, punctuated by the occasional unwelcome interruption.

Here's a sampling of some of their most memorable dialogues:

Lucy didn't take these constant rejections of her advances well, to the point that she started taking more extreme measures to get his attention.

Silly girl.  Removing his obsession in front of him isn’t gong to endear him closer to you.  Quite the opposite in fact!

The strip above might come across as being callous, but it could also be read as Schroeder trying to be sympathetic in the only way he knows how.

When it comes to exploring life outside the piano room, Schroeder was most commonly seen on the baseball field, secure in the role of catcher, where Charlie Brown's abysmal pitching averages meant that his delicate hands were in no danger of being injured.  In that setting, there was the mini-arc where Lucy said she'd hit a home run in exchange for favors:

Like many Asexuals, I have no interest in getting married, but would be willing to undergo the ritual for someone else’ sake, such as saving someone from a loveless marriage, preserving their hidden sexual orientation or helping their immigration status.  In that sense, Schroeder’s willingness to undergo some brief discomfort for the greater good appeals to me as well.

And if a surrogate can do the job, that would be even better.

As with any discussion of publication over the course of 50 years, anomalies are bound to crop up, so let's get these examples out of the way.  One of the rare instances where Schroeder showed genuine concern was when Lucy temporarily moved away.

However, when Lucy moved back, Schroeder showed no notice to her presence, so it's difficult to tell if he was affected or not.

The biggest argument that Schroeder might not be considered Asexual (Aromantic at the very least) would be this Sunday comic which could be the exception that proves the rule.

Let's break the scene down.  Lucy gives a cupcake commemorating the birth of his favorite composer when she normally doesn't display rudimentary knowledge about music, after which Schroeder gives a peck on the cheek unprompted.  And when she runs away screaming, makes an effort to correct her misunderstanding.  When Schroeder isn't pressured into displaying signs of affection, he's more likely to reciprocate in kind.

There's also this moment where Schroeder gives the most impassionate speech he ever made that wasn't related to baseball or Beethoven, on Violet giving a pity Valentine.  He clearly has thoughts on the subject.

Of course, Charlie Brown is so starved for affection he'll take whatever breadcrumbs come his way.

In closing, it feels appropriate to borrow a line from Citizen Kane: “A toast, Jedediah, to love on my terms. Those are the only terms anybody ever knows - his own.”

Amazing Greys

Much like a large segment of online Webcomic artists who’ve taken an extended hiatus (due in no small part thanks to the pandemic), before making a comeback about their sexuality, so too have I come into a realization about myself.  I’ve recently identified myself as being Asexual.  What does that mean?  It means that when I’ve eaten too much substances such as cake, and my weight exceeds the natural limit, my current form won't be able to contain my mass, so I’ll split into -

What?  That’s not the definition we’re going for?  Too bad.  2 of me wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I’d have someone to do half my chores while the other half lazes around.  But then I’d have to share my space with me, so it’s not as good as it sounds.

Basically, Asexuality can be described as a lack of sexual attraction, much in the way that single-celled cells have no desire to split apart, and are content doing their own thing.

To make matters more complicated, Asexuals CAN feel lust.  They just do so under very specific conditions.  Like if they’ve known the person for a long time and deeply connect and relate to them on a relatable level.  Or if they want to beat off to the latest salacious crack pairing fanfic.  (If I’d known Asexuals could masturbate, it would’ve saved me a LOT of confusion)

This realization doesn’t come from abstinence from sex.  It can come after being pressured from feeling left out twiddling your mitochondria while everyone’s dividing like crazy around you, trying to convince a cell to split.  “C’mon, you’ll LOVE it.”

Anytime 2 couples are paired together, promos go teasing around by asking questions of “Will they?  Won’t they?” and express their outrage of “Why AREN’T they?!”

From MAD’s Real Reasons why the X-Files is Totally Unbelievable

When the default state for romantic couples is ingrained in society, you start noticing it popping up everywhere, even in places where the hookup shouldn’t even make sense.  If you removed the five-second shot where the lovebirds lock lips, it’d hardly change the narrative one iota, especially when they’ve had to condense the contentions of meet-n-greet, getting to know each other, getting used to the annoying quirks, culminating in a connection, all in a single day.  It’s basically a narrative shortcut, and can be annoying when overused.

The thing was, whenever these pairings happened, they always felt forced, and I looked forward to the rare occasions where someone wouldn’t be romantically paired off with anyone.  Like Sheldon in the early seasons of Big Bang Theory before he was unceremoniously paired up with Amy (who originally had no interest in men) because the writers couldn’t conceive of a purely platonic relationship between two like-minded individuals.

There were very few representations of Asexuals, and I would welcome those rare instances when they came, because I found it fascinating.  That Tesla was able to fully devote all his time and energy into research rather than distractible foibles as love was admirable in a way.

The earliest instance I ever saw the theme of Asexuality represented was in a Manga.  Normally, this would sound counterintuitive, since Manga is known for having perverts and characters that are ‘sexier than sex’, but it works for the very first story in Mitsukazu Mihara’s I.C. in a Sunflower, Keep those Condoms Away from our Kids.  In this world, the young populace has suddenly developed a deep disinterest in propagating in the forbidden act of reproduction, the cause of which was... well...

Unfortunate implications surrounding vaccines notwithstanding, Mitsukazu couldn’t possibly know the false correlation between vaccines and Autism that would come up years later, but the power of the story still shines through.  With the majority of youth drained of desire, schools have forcibly extended their boundaries in prompting sex education to be taught with pornography.  As anyone knows, the surest way to deprive interest in any curriculum is to teach it in school.  If a worldwide phenomenon as Pokémon was taught in class, interest would dry up.  It’s not just that the very act of sex is rendered meaningless, but that main character Irori pretends he understands it to keep his parents and principal feel relieved.

This summary fails to convey the sheer power portrayed through a scant 31 pages, but pretty much all the stories in I.C. in a Sunflower, and can’t be recommended hard enough.

Another instance of portrayed comic Asexuality was in Sex Criminals where a side character was able to undergo the *reality-defying* ritual of stopping time by orgasming via an emotional high.  Still I didn’t make the connection.  I thought that Asexuals derived pleasure through alternate means via a kind of braingasm, deriving pleasure through different circuit pathways, much in the way that Jughead gets his jollies from eating hamburgers.  Or solving a difficult puzzle.  Or clearing a hard level.

When my sibling came out as Trans, I supported them as best as I could, listing several recommended comics in support, even as I struggled to understand their dysphoria.  One of which was How to be Ace by Rebecca Burgess.  It didn’t explicitly deal with Trans issues, but I extremely identified with the underlying social issues surrounding Asexuality.  So when I saw the dead tree version that continued from where the Webcomic left off, I immediately rushed to take it, my breathing coming in heaving gasps of excitement.  I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to read something so much.  I couldn’t until I got home, and started reading it immediately.

It’s a very personal book, and I was struck with the outright honesty portrayed throughout, but it’s not perfect.  Some of the panel layouts are meant to be read downwards instead of across, and it can come across as confusing the first time around.

Halfway through, I read this page and my perceptions completely changed.

For the longest time, I thought that the prerequisite for being Asexual was being totally disinterested in sex.  I didn’t know that someone could engage in masturbation and still be Asexual.  Once that little nugget of information slipped through, a lot of the puzzle pieces left strewn about started fitting together quickly.  I’d never wanted to kiss anyone, and oftentimes thought if I were cast for a Hollywood production or a play, one of my requests would be that I NOT be cast in a romantic situation where I’d have to kiss someone.  (Unless it’d service the plot, like making out with an escapee to escape spies, though even there, I’d probably tuck my lips in)

I’ve never had a wet dream, but I vividly recall what could be described as an anti-wet dream.  In the scenario, there was a young girl who stripped naked and frivolously danced about, displaying her underdeveloped body for all who wanted to see her.  Making herself available to any who wanted to take advantage.  In my dreams, I’m more of an observer, but in this instance, I was a participant.  I took my coat off and put it on her.  It was clear to me she’d been conditioned to wantonly display herself from a young age and didn’t know any other way of being.

In this idealized realm free of consequences where I could indulge any whim I wanted, I chose to be kind.

I lean more towards Greysexual than outright Asexual, being primarily interested in porn.  It may seem contradictory for a self-proclaimed Asexual to be interested in sex, but I’m a fan since so much of it revolves around humour, and I’m a connoisseur of humour in many forms.  So, given that I wanked off to many available material (online and offline), I still felt like a fraud for even thinking that I belonged on the Asexual frame.  (Still do)

From the emotionally devastating Gastrophobia (Pepsiaphobia) story A Good Egg.

It doesn't feel right to take the Ace slang that's normally associated with someone who's notoriously overtalented compared to his teammates.  That, and when I hear the term, I think of the Manga Aim for the Ace, even though the current generation hardly even knows it exists.

Even though I like consuming pornography, I have no inclination to openly engage any physical relationship with someone I don’t know.  Even communicating with someone I’m familiar with is an uphill struggle.  Being Asexual is very different from the toxic online base of incels (involuntary celibates), who feel entitled to have sex, having it denied to them, and rant against those who won’t share.  I’m not sex-repulsed, I’m touch-averse.

So much of what passes for sex in a relationship revolves around communication, seeking out insights of little cues of what sensitive spots excites your partner, anticipating their needs and meeting them.  And being both deaf and Autistic, I simply would fail to meet those requirements in making the other party feel appreciated.

From My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

As of now, I’m in the trifecta of invisible disabilities; Deafness, Autism and now Asexuality.  Though it shouldn’t be too surprising, since the LGBTQA+ rate is 2/3rds higher among Autistics than other groups.

Also, I don’t like the Asexual flag, despite liking the colours black and purple.  It just looks so... drab.  Though some artists have managed to make the colour combination work.  (Can be easily mistaken for the ‘Attraction to Women/Femininity’ flag, where the lower colour is pink instead of purple)  I much more prefer the Greysexual flag though - it’s symmetrical.

While there isn’t as much implied bias towards Asexuals, there’s still an underlying distrust towards them along the likes of Transexuals and Bisexuals.  Trans for betraying their side, Bisexuals for playing both sides, and Asexuals for being on neither side.

One thing that struck me once I self-identified as being Asexual was how much Asexuality was a part of my stories.  I never had any inclination of putting any romance in them, which freed me up from thinking up convoluted ways for people to be together, apart or whatnot.

I even developed an erotic fanfic based on Julius Zimmerman’s drawings (most of them centered around Jessica Rabbit) which focused on a girl, Jean R. Rikk (generic) attending Moorehead High who would be exposed to a litany of titillating erotic exploits about her busty cartoon classmates.  And then in the last two chapters, the whole narrative would turn on its head after she found out she was Asexual.

This is the most SFW image he’s done.

A potential symptom of being Asexual should be that you think about characters along those lines more than most people do.  To describe me, one of my favorite coming out comic bios could’ve just as easily been retitled The Times I knew I was Ace.

"People might think that everyone starts out in a closet until they're ready to 'come out.'  The closet could be dark and scary or quite roomy and resemble more of a clothes rail.  But what's funny for me is that I didn't even know that there was a closet - or that I was very much stuck inside it."

Here’s a segment taken from a chapter of my WebNovel Sweet Sick Teen (kind of a warped pregnant Alice in Wonderland that doesn’t emulate any inspiration from the Lewis Carol classic) of a dialogue between the unnamed Girl and the Pale Boy as a take that on YA books that specifically devoted on romance over the political ramifications of the story.