While I've been (reluctantly) enjoying the rash of quick quotes, I'm still fairly ignorant about nostalgic 80's shows such as Transformers and G.I. Joe. (The movies are captioned though) That could be forgiven, since they're essentially glorified commercial shows, but the lack of tainted nostalgia is denied of me. Shows on NBC such as Heathcliff, The Smurfs and Alvin & the Chipmunks had no captioning, but shows on ABC such as The Real Ghostbusters, Flintstone Kids and Looney Toons were. There were threats to neglect the sponsors of NBC's children's shows, since they weren't being accommodating towards handicapped children. (Their Prime Time stuff was captioned though) Me and my sister often settled for watching episodes of Sesame Street, even though we were above the target group, simply because we wanted to watch something we could understand. But the biggest sin for lack of available subtitles is Rocky & Bullwinkle. There are dozens of rapid-fire jokes spewed out within the confines of a minute, which would be impossible to understand without outside help. The only reason I'm aware of the show's genius is because I borrowed some VHS collected tapes, and those were captioned. I know that there are illegal subtitles available for downloading, but I shouldn't have to rely on those to get my fix. These companies should get their act together.
I was a little disappointed when I heard that Google Glasses wasn't as popular as they were advertised to be. The reason they probably failed to catch on was because they suffered from having the eye being too close to the screen. Having scouters that displays information directly to your retinas is a sound Sci-fi principle, but probably doesn't work well in reality. We're more likely to retain information when seen from a distance to get the bigger picture. The reason for my disappointment is that I thought that Google Glasses would be able to give miniature text-based subtitles of people's dialogue in the room. Chances are they'd be simply unable to capture and differentiate between the numerous voices amidst the cacophony of noises all around them.
But maybe before moving onto new realms of uncharted technological territory, we should concentrate on perfecting the program of decoding human speech first. Next to understanding images, capturing the essence of language is one of the most difficult things that computer AI is trying to tackle.
My impression of Youtube captioning was that they would be similar to real-time captioning that's prevalent on the news, where instead of having subtitles follow a script, an actual human being is made to transcribe text as they come live onscreen. Real-time captioning is far from perfect, as it results in a time-lag delay during monologue-heavy scenes, and will rush by quickly in order to catch up, or will stall at a certain place to correct a spelling mistake. Even so, it's still light years from the computer linguistic model which attempts to decipher the compounded cacophony of noises into something that makes sense. If it's the audio that's a problem, a better solution would be to have a transcription embedded into pop-up annotations instead. Like subtitles, they're optional, and can be turned on or off.
The beginning starts out perfectly fine. Once the theme song music starts, we're in trouble. |
A tin eye for detail coupled with faulty auditory control brings about strange results. |
Likewise, if there's any lingering music during an interlude, the computer captioning will capture it as part of the speech, and transcribe it as such. And this is only further compounded with foreign languages thrown into the mix. Anything looking for that certain Je ne sois quoi would be mistaken as "Tennis quiet".
Being saccharine is not always a good way to appeal to the masses. |
A piece of ballet clothing? |
A rare instance of accurate wording, which carries huge significance. |
Having an electronic recorder is no deterrent for producing musical sounds through your ass. |
A confession - apart from the beginning and end screen captures, this is the only accurate Youtube lyric. |
You say AYE-ther and I say EEE-ther.
You say NIGH-ther and I say KNEE-ther.
You say AYE-ther and I say AYE-ther.
You say NIGH-ther and I say NIGH-ther.
However, since the words looked exactly the same when written, there was no attempt to differentiate between the two, and all pretense of their conflict was lost.
For years, I thought that the interlude after "I hope you bring lots of Spaghetti" was "I'm Scared".
It wasn't until I saw the Garfield & Friends DVD that I saw an alternate version, which was "I'm full.", which makes more sense. It seems that the theme song creators were equally confused about this Mondegreen, so when the 2nd theme song was redone, they used Wade Duck as a stand-in. So which one's the correct choice?
Likewise, the line for Darkwing Duck's "Three Two One, Darkwing Duck" was "Too Too Wild! Darkwing Duck". |
It's noisy in the Hub city as a result of not having any electronics to fool around with. |
Cursing deer can be violent. |
Typical bedroom hotels have components such as television, night life and below average drinks. |
Going too fast across a vast expense can lead to having egg on your face. |
Somebody who looks like Tina Fey, despite all evidence to the contrary. |
A top-secret investigation regarding the silly dances Rabbis do at Bar Mitzvahs. |
Panic over an iconic Festival figure being involved with an intimate Spanish dance. |
The British scream combined with the title of an Italian comic... You know what? There are times when you're simply unable to figure out the hidden meaning from the scant clues available, and this is one of them. |
The Navy's experimental application of "Don't ask, don't tell". |
Consequences of barfing after investing heavily in sugared snacks with the hope of getting a reward from minimal effort. |
Tear one what once off and was red
Scratch my is black head instead.
Objectivism philosophy was plagiarized from other sources. |
Tear one off and scratch my head
What once was red is black instead.
There's a guy named Saul, and he's annoyed at having his lunch stolen all the time, so he's booby trapped his desert when the thief comes around. |
Crowded public transportation is a haven for pushy people to get their way with total strangers. |
Endangered fish are a leading cause of contention among lording idiot sultans. |
A rallying cry to rouse sales of tasty treats targeted towards a very specific demographic of people named Barty. |
The faster you go, the more likely you are to make repeating mistakes, thereby making you feel stupid. |
Back in the day, there was heavy resistance for showing any Close Captioning on TV, since sponsors felt there was little demand from audiences who didn't have decoders ready for the select few viewers that could afford them. Nowadays, pretty much every show on cable has captioning, and the latest widescreen models have captioning embedded into their microchips. Oftentimes, it feels as if the trailblazing efforts for Youtube captioning is suffering the same stigmata that Close Captioning for TV did in its infancy. (Thirty years ago!) There's no conscious effort to improve upon these faults, since there are multiple outlets, and unless there are any monetary disadvantages from not choosing one video-sharing source over another, we'll never see any improvement anytime soon.
As it turns out, hearing things is remarkably easy. Making sense out of multiple sounds is the hard part.
Oh, now they're just mocking us. |
If you can't make out the last sentence, welcome to my world. |
Ladies and Gentlemen, Garfield and Friends.
We're / We're
Ready / Ready
To / To
Party!
We're ready to party, we're ready. Yo!
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti.
(I'm full)
Come on in, come to the place
Where fun never ends.
Come on in, it's time to party
With Garfield and friends.
Dancing! Fiesta!
Romancing! Siesta!
Samba! La Bamba!
Aye Carumba!
Disguises / Disguises!
Surprises! Surprises!
and pies of / and pies of...
All sizes!
Come on in, come to the place
Where fun never ends.
Come on in, it's time to party
with Garfield and Friends.
Come on in, it's time to party
with Garfield and Friends.
Garfield and friends.
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