“Did you hear the one about President Trump? Or, more precisely, did you hear all 3,128 jokes?”
“A think tank that has studied the content of late-night comedy for the past 26 years said Donald Trump was the butt of more jokes in 2017 than any other public figure has for a single year. By a lot.”
“He beat the previous record of 1,816, set by Trump as a presidential candidate in 2016… Prior to that, the record was 1,717 by former President Bill Clinton in 1998, the year of Monica Lewinsky.”The online numbers are probably in the millions by now.
Some of the most memorable and reoccurring statements I’ve made include some variation of the following:
Trump has lied more than every President in history COMBINED.
And that's counting Presidents in other Countries.
“I had the largest inauguration at any point in history! And I beat out all 16 Republican nominees!”
"I'm not in trouble!" says President in trouble.
"Millennials HATE him! This Millionaire's secret to staying rich has experts baffled! Read this get-rich-quick scheme for the low low price of $99,999.99 to find out how!"
"What's that empty vacant lot over there?"The most common defence has been along the lines of "Give him time! He's still learning on the job!", despite younger qualified people better suited to the job. It’s been three years, and he’s showed no sign nor ability to learn anything. He’s remained just as, if not more ignorant. All the praise about his intellect and great deals (in the absence of politicians and military personal who openly call him an idiot) come from Trump himself.
"It once belonged to the most powerful man in the world, who built a monument to his name until he was undone by something or other."
"What was his name?"
"I dunno. Ozzy somebody or other."
Over time, I started developing a certain catchphrase everytime the news happened to mention that this was the most unhinged the staff had ever seen Trump. And I repeated the phrase every time he has a temper tantrum, and I’ll say it again:
Up until now, we’ve been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.Listing all the things I’ve said in response to his atrocities would be five times as long. The problem with Trump saturation is that when you’re exposed to his ever-increasing list of crimes, you become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of data thrown your way and become desensitized to it.
So I'm going to break up my commentary into bite-sized increments. Thing is, even grossly reduced, it's still a lot.
"What followed was a two-day Twitter tirade that was unusually angry and defiant even by Mr. Trump’s standards.”Up until now, we’ve been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
An ally close to President Trump told CNN that President Trump berated White House communications director Hope Hicks after her testimony to the House Intelligence Committee in which she admitted she sometimes told “white lies” to protect the president.
Said the source: “She was his last emotional crutch.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“Sources who’ve spoken with the president in the past few days describe him as ‘giddy’ — a man who has finally fully indulged his itch to break free of John Kelly’s restraints.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“People close to Trump said his firing on Tuesday of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson was the latest sign of the Republican president’s growing impatience with his initial set of hand-picked advisers who he viewed as slow-walking his favored policies.”
“Trump will still encourage disagreement within his inner circle, these people said, but once he makes a decision, he wants it carried out swiftly.”"Sir, your test results just came back positive."
STEPHANOPOULOS: “That’s stunning. You can’t say for certain that the president of the United States is not compromised by the Russians?”
COMEY: “It is stunning and I wish I wasn’t saying it, but it’s just — it’s the truth. I cannot say that. It always struck me and still strikes me as unlikely, and I woulda been able to say with high confidence about any other president I dealt with, but I can’t. It’s possible.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational James Comey.
“...White House advisers have been consoling themselves with the thought that, for at least a few days, his hot war with Robert Mueller has turned cold. Trump last tweeted about the Russia investigation on June 7. But there’s considerable anxiety that the détente is about to end.”
Said one friend of the president: “It’s going to hit the fan pretty soon.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
Psychologist warns Trump's mental state is rapidly deteriorating – and he may be 'on the boundary of psychosis and reality'Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
Omarosa tells how President Trump’s ‘mental decline can't be denied"My mentality is as good as it's ever been! Better even! No one will deny it!!!"
“While watching the interview I realized that something real and serious was going on in Donald’s brain. His mental decline could not be denied.”
“Nevertheless, the tapes have only deepened a pre-existing sense of paranoia among Trump staffers… fueling an underlying suspicion that everyone inside the West Wing is out for themselves.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“People who have known Mr. Trump for years pointed out that he has never been as cornered — or as isolated — as he is right now, and that he is at his most dangerous when he feels backed against the wall. They pointed to his reaction after the ‘Access Hollywood’ tape of him boasting of grabbing women’s genitals was released in October 2016. Mr. Trump responded by parading Bill Clinton’s female accusers in front of Hillary Clinton at the presidential debate in St. Louis, and acted like a man with nothing to lose.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“I tend to think something else is happening: that we are entering the most dangerous phase of Donald Trump’s presidency. We always knew this would happen — that the rule of law and Trump would at some point be unable to coexist — but we had no idea how it would specifically play out. Now we see the lay of the land a little more clearly.”
“What we’re about to find out is if Trump can pull off all his usual tricks, and face no serious political or legal consequences for this. I’d say that question remains nerve-rackingly open.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“Forget the Russians, the adult film stars, the Playboy bunnies, and the illegal payoffs covering up sexual misconduct. Forget the hotels full of foreigners enriching the president. And forget the convictions of his former campaign manager and his personal lawyer who may in the near future implicate the president himself in their wrongdoings.”“Forget the Russians, the adult film stars, the Playboy bunnies, the etc..."
How can we forget all that stuff when we're constantly reminded? Come to think of it, we probably need to be reminded, given how much stuff we have to remember. You've probably forgotten half the stuff on this list already. And we're only just getting started!
In the wake of his recent outbursts, White House officials have discussed whether President Trump would listen to his closest New York City friends in an effort to rein him in.
More than ever, Trump is acting by feeling and instinct. Said one former White House official: “Trump is nuts. This time really feels different.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
Wilson said. “He’s crawling the damn walls because they’re running story after story on John McCain and he hates it because he’s not the center of attention.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
Said one person familiar with Trump’s thinking: “He is in the worst mood of his presidency and calling friends and allies to vent about his selection.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
"Well, did you - "
"THIS INTERVIEW IS STUPID AND A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!!"
“He’s an idiot. It’s pointless to try to convince him of anything. He’s gone off the rails. We’re in Crazytown. I don’t even know why any of us are here. This is the worst job I’ve ever had.”
— White House chief of staff John Kelly, quoted in Fear: Trump in the White House, about President Trump."These stories are all FALSE! And they're all TRUE!"
"Here you go."
"This page is blank!"
"That's your Friends list. It's easier."
Trump, stung by midterms and nervous about Mueller, retreats from traditional presidential duties
For weeks this fall, an ebullient President Trump traveled relentlessly to hold raise-the-rafters campaign rallies — sometimes three a day — in states where his presence was likely to help Republicans on the ballot.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“But his mood apparently has changed as he has taken measure of the electoral backlash that voters delivered Nov. 6. With the certainty that the incoming Democratic House majority will go after his tax returns and investigate his actions, and the likelihood of additional indictments by special counsel Robert Mueller, Trump has retreated into a cocoon of bitterness and resentment.”
“Behind the scenes, they say, the president has lashed out at several aides, from junior press assistants to senior officials.”
Said one administration official: “He’s furious. Most staffers are trying to avoid him.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“White House officials are struggling to understand the source of the fury fueling the president’s eruptions… Current and former officials are debating different theories for Trump’s outbursts, ranging from his fears over his son Don Jr.’s legal exposure to the prospect that House Democrats will unleash investigations in January.
Said one former West Wing staffer: “This is a level of insanity I’ve never seen before.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“notes that President Trump tweet attacks on special counsel Robert Mueller — and there are more this morning — “are just the tip of the iceberg of the ways in which the president of the United States has intervened in, criticized, thwarted, and potentially obstructed an investigation that involves him, his family and his 2016 presidential campaign.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“The thing about stories built on actual facts, as Mueller’s will be, is that they tend to be powerful and command attention because they add up. People like solid crime stories.
It also adds up that Trump remains in the panic that has consumed him since he returned from his calamitous trip to rainy Paris nearly three weeks ago. He just keeps tweeting maniacally about his innocence and Mueller’s ‘witch hunt’ even as he heads to the G20 meeting in Buenos Aires.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“If President Trump appears to be rattled by special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation now — and his extraordinary tweets on the subject suggest that he is — just wait,”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“He stormed out of the Oval, walked into an anteroom just off the Oval Office and had in his hand a folder of briefing papers. And he just scattered them out of frustration — threw them across the room.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
President Trump tweets up a storm Friday morning ahead of new court filings that are due today from Special Counsel Mueller’s office.Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
I'm very disappointed that we didn't even get a CONGRATURATIONS! screen.
Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) told Politico that a Republican needs to challenge Donald Trump for the Republican presidential nomination in 2020.
Said Flake: “I’ve not ruled it out. I’ve not ruled it in. Just, somebody needs to run on the Republican side.”"Any takers? Anyone?? Mueller???"
Days after appointing Matthew Whitaker as acting attorney general and assuring the country that he was capable replacement for the ousted Jeff Sessions, President Trump Friday claimed not to know his new Justice Department chief.Remember the good old days when being a front-stabber was seen as a positive trait? And the guy was fired before he could even get on the team?
A week after standing in the East Room and declaring victory in the midterm elections, the President is isolated and growing more furious by the day. He’s openly speculating about replacing more members of his Cabinet, though so far has stopped short of executing the dismissals, leaving those aides in a career purgatory.”
Said one White House official, noting the mood in the Oval Office is darker than normal this week: “Yes, he’s pissed — at damn near everyone.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
"Easy! You build a beautiful plane around the umbrella."
Here's @EliStokols's new reporting on how Trump "stormed out of the Oval" after his meeting with Pelosi & Schumer today.UTNW'VBDWTCARDT
It was a historic letter and a historic moment capping a historic day, one you could easily see filling a full chapter of future books on the Trump presidency. The wheels felt like they were coming off the White House before Mattis quit.
Trump asked one trusted adviser: “Did you know he called me a terrible human being?”
“We’re told that Trump was furious when the slight surfaced in a two-year-old video right after he promoted Mulvaney.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
"How about no Government at all?"
"Not that small."
President Trump, who has long believed that he is his own best adviser and spokesman, was forced to test that idea on Friday when few of his allies seemed willing to publicly share in his evident satisfaction with the tumultuous events that have buffeted the White House in the past few days."I'm also abolishing the month of January as well. In fact, next year will be rebranded as Trump Year 1. This new feature will be accepted worldwide."
“He’s not behaving like he’s fit for office. He’s behaving extremely erratically. He’s not giving the American people or our allies around the world any sense that there’s a rationale for the decisions that he’s making. And the events of this last week were just another example of that, whether it’s a sudden announcement of a withdrawal in Syria or the turmoil with his staff. He’s just so erratic. And so I think that, what you’re seeing around the country is that people who voted for him have begun to reassess him. And folks understand that we need different leadership. And the sooner we get that, the better.”In an alternate timeline, Hillary is being vilified for being too emotional.
"Oh, yeah. Thanks, Obama!"
President Trump tweets up a storm Friday morning ahead of new court filings that are due today from Special Counsel Mueller’s office.Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
“Inside the Oval Office on Thursday, Trump was in what one Republican close to the White House described as ‘a tailspin,’ acting ‘totally irrationally’ and ‘flipping out’ over criticisms in the media. The president’s decisions and conduct have led to a fracturing of Trump’s coalition. Hawks condemned his sudden decision to withdraw U.S. troops from Syria. Conservatives called him a ‘gutless president’ and questioned whether he would ever build a wall. Political friends began privately questioning whether Trump needed to be reined in.”"This is the calmest and rationalist he's ever been."
“For two years, they tried to tutor and confine him. They taught him history, explained nuances and gamed out reverberations. They urged careful deliberation, counseled restraint and prepared talking points to try to sell mainstream actions to a restive conservative base hungry for disruption. But in the end, they failed.”
“Trump will enter his third year as president unbound — at war with his perceived enemies, determined to follow through on the hard-line promises of his insurgent campaign and fearful of any cleavage in his political coalition.”
“So far, the result has been disarray. The federal government is shut down. Stock markets are in free fall. Foreign allies are voicing alarm. Hostile powers such as Russia are cheering. And Republican lawmakers once afraid of crossing this president are now openly critical.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
Trump’s Interest in Buying Greenland Seemed Like a Joke. Then It Got Ugly.“Some former Trump administration officials in recent days said they were increasingly worried about the president’s behavior, suggesting it stems from increasing pressure on Mr. Trump as the economy seems more worrisome and next year’s election approaches.”Up until now, we've been dealing with the Calm and Rational Donald Trump.
'He's losing his s---': Trump's advisers are increasingly worried about his mental state following days of erratic behaviorUp until now, we've been dealing with the Calm etc.
Beneath the impeachment spin: Growing GOP concern“What you most hear from congressional Republicans on impeachment this week is the sound of silence.”
“GOP sources say they have a good reason for that fear. They have no idea what else House Democrats’ investigation will uncover or what comes next.”"What are you so scared of? If you're completely innocent of all charges from a report that Exonerated you Completely, you shouldn't have anything to worry about!"
“The idea that President Trump has finally gone over the edge is an overwrought journalistic genre. Oftentimes, people simply forget all that has come before when they declare him to be particularly unwieldy or off the rails at a particular moment. And his opponents are far too anxious to find examples of Trump finally reaching a threshold that suggests he has completely thrown caution to the wind and may be just giving up.”
“All of that said, it has been some week for Trump — even by his standards.”Up until now, we’ve been dealing with etc.
"What’s unique about this phase of his presidency is that he’s being attacked with so much damning information from so many directions and so many different power centers that he can’t keep up. Not even a street fighter with Bruce Lee’s skills could repulse this sort of pile-on."The chickens are coming home to roost.
“There is nothing in the Constitution that prevents a president from being impeached more than once.”"You can't impeach the President for multiple things!"
"Yes we can."
"Well you SHOULDN'T!!"
Trump White House accidentally sends talking points to Democrats – then demands the email be ‘recalled’"Where's the 'unsend' button?!"
"Stop clicking 'Select All'!"
"Some of these Democrats were Republicans once."
Trump blasted Speaker Nancy Pelosi following a heated meeting at the White House, questioning her mental fitness and commitment to the country, The Hill reports.
Said Pelosi: “Nancy Pelosi needs help fast! There is either something wrong with her ‘upstairs,’ or she just plain doesn’t like our great Country.”
He added: “She had a total meltdown in the White House today. It was very sad to watch. Pray for her, she is a very sick person!”Just hours after Nancy accused Trump of having a meltdown of his own.
“The country is entering a new and precarious phase, in which the central question about President Donald Trump is not whether he is coming unstrung, but rather just how unstrung he is going to get.”Up until now, we’ve etc.
“Can we all agree that the specter of impeachment may not be bringing out the best in Donald J. Trump?”Up until etc.
“By now it should have dawned on you that there is no escape. You are going to have to render a verdict not just on Donald’s Trump’s policies, but on his personal conduct. For just the third time in U.S. history, the Senate will hold a trial on the impeachment and removal of a president.”
“You’ll have to vote up or down and your decision will have consequences that will linger long past this election cycle. The situation is already grim.”
“But it is all about to get worse: the evidence, the venue and the president’s conduct. There may be more smoking guns, the trial will be televised, and based on the past few weeks, Trump is likely to be more unhinged than ever.”Up etc.
“What we saw today: witness intimidation in real time by the president of the United States.”“It’s not witness intimidation if the witness isn’t intimidated!”
It was one of his ugliest rallies yet — and put the stakes of 2020 in sharp relief.
“Over the course of a more than 90-minute delivery, Trump pushed conspiracy theories and blatant lies, trashed law enforcement officials that aren’t blindly loyal to him, exhibited thuggish tendencies toward protesters, made misogynistic remarks, and demonstrated that he fundamentally misunderstands the Constitution.”
“It was one of his most troubling performances in recent memory and served as a stark illustration of just how ugly Trump’s reelection campaign will be.”etc. etc. etc., etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. . Etc. etc. Ect. Ect. Ect.
On Wednesday, as articles of impeachment against a sitting president were presented for only the fourth time in history, all three networks led with the Jersey City shootout before covering impeachment."First up, the weather, sports, and the horoscope. And now, the impeachment coverage."
"Psst. This is your Impeachment."
"I had the largest Impeachment at any point in history!"
Given his egostical nature, when history looks unfavorably back on his actions, instead of being referred to You-Know-Who, via Voldemort, he should instead be known as Ol’ Whatsisname. That would really get on his nerves.