Thursday, December 20, 2012

It's TEOTWAWKI Time

There's a lot of speculation that the Mayan calendar which runs its warranty out tomorrow will plunge the Earth into a state of disastrous catastrophe the likes of which have never been seen.  What's led to the credibility of the Mayans as opposed to other Nostradamic prophets is their unusual accuracy for predicting certain astrological events for a civilization that upon first sight, was composed of mainly feathers, grass, stone and blood.  Convincing arguments to the contrary have been made, but that still hasn't stopped people worldwide from bracing themselves for a disaster that might still happen.

While Mayans are still around, their age-old empire is a far cry from where they once originated.  Lentinent Democracies without any defences seem to have a tendency to fall prey to barbaric invasions, which could explain how some sufficiently advanced civilizations that've created objects such as Crystal Skulls and Out-of-Place artifacts fell to ruin because they weren't able to protect themselves from barbarbic invaders.  What this tells us about humanity leaves much to be desired, which is why some nations are fanatical about the military.

I unknowingly lived through 1984.  I survived harmonic convergence.  I was ignorant about Halley's Comet.  Though I have to admit that I fell prey to the hype of the Y2K bug, which I still affectionally call the Yuck-2 Bug.  (I call things by what they look like, not what they sound like)  I was increasingly worried that come the year 2000, all the money I deposited in my bank account would become illegitimate, and everything I worked so hard for would wind up for naught.  Even after the Millennium passed, I was still reluctant to deposit any of my hard-earned cash inside, out of fear that a hidden virus would spring up come 2001, the REAL year of 2000, since there was no "Zero" year.

Only after the year 2001 came and went without incident did I allow my guard to drop and start to feel relieved about relying on electronics again.  Not that I trusted the machines TOO much - only up to a point.  I find it extremely difficult to fully trust anything that's failed me once in the past.  Sometimes my alarm clock doesn't wake me up, and I have to rely on my internal clock to get up on time.  Sometimes the VCR doesn't program all the way to the end, and I have to constantly watch to make sure I don't miss the closing minutes of my favorite show.

After that lack of a fiasco, I embraced a simple philosophy: the world's been ending since yesterday.

There was an awful movie about the year 2012, which despite its worldwide carnage, solely limited its worldview to pure updated biblical implications of outrageous proportions.  Rather short-sighted for something that would have far-reaching consequences beyond the cosmos, but how would humanity be able to survive against such a disaster of Lovecraftian consequences without something to relate to?  Chances are, if nothing happens, we'll all safely look back and laugh at how wrong we were.

One of the theories of the Mayan Apocalypse is that rogue planet Nibiru will come from another universe to destroy us all.  Anyone wanting an epic disaster story with that theme should check out Hellstar Remina by Horror Manga artist Junji Ito.  Planetary destruction was never so much fun.

What the Mayans probably intended was that the end of their cycle would be a period of transition where the old ways would be forgotten in favor of new ways that would greatly transform the meaning of their world.  If the new year does come, chances are that it'll bring about various changes, many of which may be of little consequence to most people, but will affect me greatly.  I'm highly resistant to anything new that I'm not used to.  I rejected using the internet because I didn't want to become addicted.  I didn't want to use DVDs because they weren't as reliable as VHS cassette tapes.  I didn't want to try new foods, because I always acted like any character in Yakitate! Japan when they tasted something outrageous, twitching my face, whirling my arms and groping for the closest glass of water.  (Needless to say, my family LOVED to feed me new things just for my reactions alone)  In every single one of these cases, I was worried that I would like the new thing TOO much, and prefer it to the old model, which I clearly loved.

On the one hand, I'm hoping that the world WILL actually end, so I won't have to deal with a potentially stressful work project next year.  On the other hand, I don't want to lose my high scores in my favorite video games.  So far, the only way it seems that we'll be able to avoid the day of the apocalypse is if we fly clockwise towards the Earth's orbit.  Sadly, I lack the funds to pay for such a round trip, and I hate flying, because my ears always pop, and it takes forever for my hearing to come back when I land.  (These are the petty things I agonize about)

Oh, and the few people wondering about the extra-long acronym of this post's title, it's short for The End Of The World As We Know It.

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