Coyote Vs. ACME Experience

After years of delays due to studio interference, Coyote Vs. ACME was finally released into theaters due to the passionate protests of curious fans wanting to see the movie that the studio in all its infinite wisdom, decided it’d be more profitable to use the completed movie as a tax-write off, rather than release it in theaters.  Being a mix of live action and animation, it’s very much a spiritual successor to Roger Rabbit.  It might not reach the highs of that modern classic (the bar was astronomical) but it comes close.

This is not a review of the movie itself, but of my experience of going into the theater itself.  I personally hadn’t attended a movie theater in years, due to being unable to understand what was going on, or having a concise summary beforehand.  (The last movie I saw was a foreign movie with subtitles, Cache, that I was less than enthused about)  Even when I was told that there were captioning devices that could transcribe the spoken lines to curious deaf people wanting to attend, I still didn’t come.  I preferred instead to wait for it to be released on home video, or available on cable, even if it meant being a year behind everybody else’s pop culture knowledge.

This was the first time I actually had a movie I was actually interested in seeing that I wanted to share with someone.  A movie I was aware of, thanks to a leaked plot summary that was released back when it looked like Coyote might never see the light of day.  A summary that I decided not to see again until I actually saw the results for myself.  A summary I only had vague memories of, not having read it in over 2 years, and wanted to preserve some semblance of surprise.

There were references to other movies, such as Deep Throat from All the President’s Men, and courtroom corporate dramas such as Erin Brockovich, A Civil Action, Silkwood (a Oklahoma nuclear facility worker whistleblower) and Dark Waters (a lawyer braving against a corporation dealing with the dangers of Teflon).

But enough of that, I’ll get back to the movie experience.

Before getting to the theater, I prepared myself by asking my sibling about their experience with using the subtitles.  They mentioned that there was some trickiness with the cable, lining it up properly against the screen.  (More on this later) my sibling also mentioned that in order to use the captioning device, they had to hand over their ID, such as a driver’s license or Medicare card, so as not to let the theatergoer leave their valuable device with them.  I also didn’t know if the captioning went by lines as a whole per scene, or scrolled like during news broadcasts.

I arrived at the theater half an hour early to make sure I would be on time, but also to make sure that there would be enough time to get the captioning device and beat the rush.  Turned out there wasn’t much of a lineup for the middle of the day in the middle of the week.  As I said, I don’t have much movie-going experience.

There was some slight panic on my part as the guy who was supposed to hand out captioning devices wasn’t there, but was reassured that he’d be around shortly.  After which, I was given the captioning device without having to sacrifice my ID in return.  Making our way to the seats, I set about trying to figure out how to wrangle the device in the dim previews lighting.  There was a gooseneck cable that could be bent, and a base that was supposed to fit into the cupholder portion of the seat.  Only, the base wouldn’t “click” properly, and there was a metallic base jutting from an awkward angle, and it took considerable time before I finally mange to wrestle it into a suitable shape for comfortable viewing.  I like my captions to be horizontal to the screen.

There were three buttons underneath, one for turning it on, one for selecting the language, and one for selecting the theater.  It was important to select the right button for the right theater, otherwise, you’d wind up getting captioning for the wrong movie.  Turns out it’s very easy to accidentally click the wrong button in the dark.  I was constantly rotating through the other 32 theaters in an attempt to get back to the right theater, and then going over the limit again.  Like channel flipping too quickly that the only way to get back is to go through the entire directory.

To my surprise, there were captions available for the previews, which I was sure wouldn’t be available, as I asked my sibling about their existence beforehand, and was told there likely wouldn’t be any available, so seeing the dialogue for these features came as a pleasant surprise.  The captions showed up in rapid succession, 2 lines at a time at a speed I was accustomed to.  Then during the 3rd preview, no subtitles appeared, which I thought was fine, as only music played for a silent movie staring Shaun the Sheep.  But during the 4th preview, no subtitles appeared, particularly during when dialogue should’ve shown up.

When the actual movie started, it started off not with the slapstick antics I expected, but a prologue starring (Dr.) Peter Lorre, the perpetual toothy smile fishy-bedroom eyed caricature so omnipresent in numerous Looney Tunes shorts.  There was essential dialogue being spoken throughout, and I decided to rely on my live transcribe app on my cellphone, something I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to use, as one of the people in the seats ahead of me was using her phone, and it was distractingly bright.  (She thankfully turned her phone off for the movie)   I tried to minimize my screen on dark mode so as not to disturb the watchers behind me, while my friend went to the manager to get a replacement captioning device.

I was essentially looking at three different screens at once.  The movie screen itself, the captioning screen, and my cellphone.  In addition, the live transcribe’s latest update now posts the newest lines right at the bottom, so I was missing several micro-second details than usual.  There were a lot of onscreen Easter Eggs I missed because of that.

But even with a replacement, there were times when subtitled lines failed to appear, and I had to rely on live transcribe more than once.

Only getting every other

very annoying.

You might get the gist, but

is lost.

This wasn’t an isolated experience.  My TV would also

shows had important lines missing.

beginning sentences would be cut off.

single word.

constantly puzzle out the clues from the brief scraps I was

sometimes the captioning device would repeat the last line

moving onto the next

sometimes the captioning device would repeat the last line

where a solitary line of the next dialogue showed up.

When the movie was over, my friend went to the manager to complain on my behalf, and said I should have a refund.  Something I didn’t know was possible.  I captured about 85% of what was being said, which was quite verbose for a feature featuring silent pantomimic cartoon characters dealing in slapstick.  Ironically enough, the movie’s theme which was about dealing with faulty products was almost spoiled due to the result of a faulty captioning device.

I still feel a little bad about getting my money back, even though it sent a message that the theater could’ve worked on their captioning devices better.  When the time comes that this movie gets released on physical media, I’ll get my personal copy.  As for the captioning devices, there’s several tips I have to improve the design:

1. Make the gooseneck cord more flexible AND sturdier.

2. Have the base snap into the cupholder more accurately.

3. Regarding the above, shorten the gooseneck cord significantly so that it doesn’t wind up winding all over the place.

These are basic solutions that anybody who’d field tested these things in the field could’ve suggested during production.

After that experience, I think I prefer watching movies in the privacy of my home.

The Gravity of the Situation

Ever since he has looked heavenwards in envy, man has wanted to fly, consequences be damned.

On a random comment board, it was mentioned in passing that of all the mechanism failures that occurred on Star Trek, ranging from Holodeck Malfunctions to Warp Core Explosions, the one standing feature that remained intact during all these disaster scenarios was the gravity controls.  No matter how dire, it was imperative that everybody keep their feet on the ground.  Other Sci-fi shows with a higher budget such as The Expanse managed to expand on that concept, showing just how unfeasible it could be to survive on a gravity-free zone.  The major reason that these far-concept shows had such a stranglehold on the gravity controls is that they were mainly filmed on Earth.  (Sorry for spoiling the illusion guys!)

All this stemming from news that the latest Tom Cruise movie, Vyozov (The Challenge)’s marketing gimmick would be the first film that would be filmed entirely in space.  By a Russian crew, no less.  (Whether it’d be any good is immaterial)

This led to a discussion of realistic portrayal of living in a stimulated environment, and there were very few comics that accurately reflected what it’d be like to live in a world without gravity.  The ones that did, showed just how ubiquitous gravity surrounds us to the extent that we don’t think about it.  This page from chapter 21 of Grease Monkey by Tim Eldred shows what happens when it's not around, and how much of a mess keeping everything floating around would be.

I started thinking about this after reading the entirety of Skyward, written by Joe Henderson, and drawn by Antonio Fabela and Lee Garbett.  At first, Skyward seems to openly embrace this concept with open arms, when one day all of a sudden, gravity just seems to cease working properly.  But then this open-world policy quickly devolves into cliched territory, making for a less satisfactory read than would otherwise be expected.

There are scenes of imaginative worldbuilding such as having millionaires fitted with magnetic boots to recapture life like it was before, and people using slotted buckets to capture water from an incoming storm, but for the most part, it’s filled with flawed leaps of imagination.

One of the failed suspensions of disbelief is the inclusion of a disabled love interest who would prefer to remain in this gravity-free world where where a return to normalcy would mean being tied down.

That in itself isn’t a bad idea.  The problem is, all portrayal of him shows him as being at the same height of everyone, regardless of his missing legs or not.

Standing around like a disembodied leg guy from that episode of Quantum Leap.

Whether this fault lies at the hands of the author or the writer, I couldn’t say, but it’s safe that neither of them are sufficiently handicapped.

Segueing back to Tim "Grease Monkey" Eldred, his other online work, Pitsberg, has a much more nuanced take on amputees closer to The Expanse, where condemned miners of space minerals (there's a lot of exposition involved, but space minerals is what we're working with) have to undergo required extraction of body parts in order to reduce expenses.  And in a gravity-free zone, legs are just one of the many deemed minor unnecessary "inconveniences" to go.  As such, there's a greater variety of legless bodies in a floating environment to deal with.

For the most part, until someone is able to spend sufficient time in a gravity-free zone and have the imaginative insight to document a wider-spread alternate reality, such fantastic concepts would be better suited to the realm of short stories.

For me, the one comic that manages to succeed in this where others fail would be Sherwin Tjia’s Plummet, where a young woman wakes up and finds herself falling mid-air.

It sounds like a Mr. Boffo joke, but it’s one of the best underrated Canadian comics you’ve never read.

Being in perpetual free-fall with numerous random objects appearing out of nowhere means you’re never fully prepared for what may happen next.  One of the falling objects happens to be a section of an apartment building, which has potential for housing valuable supplies like food and clothing.  Of course, navigating inside isn’t as easy as it first seems.

Trying to eat or sleep in these conditions is impossible without proper preparation or a little luck.  And when it does come, it’s recommended to jump at the chance whenever it occurs.  Eventually, she meets other people caught in the same situation as her, some who’ve managed to build something out for themselves, others who’re just as clueless as she is, some are friendly, and some are not.  In the afterword, Sherwin Tjia writes that the format for this ambitious comic was written to be a road story.  Well, a vertical road story, always going forward, never looking back.

The best thing about this comic is while there are various theories bandied about, the circumstances that caused this is never explained.  Any potentially plausible explanation would RUIN the experience.  If you get the chance, I heavily recommend you pick it up.  Doubtless it’d be far more intriguing than whatever the upcoming Tom Cruise movie plot is.

Past NAFTA

I've been too preoccupied with current events.  Lately, the news has left me unable to concentrate, and I've been looking back on newspaper archives while I still have time.  Going through them has shown some revealing political cartoons that are sadly just as relevant as they were twenty years ago today.

This process of going through old online newspaper files would be much easier if it wasn't for an annoying new feature that's severely cramped my style.  Recently, they've added a new feature to prevent computers from browsing those very same files for some reason.  Having to constantly confirm that I'm not a robot, and the screens becoming blank after scrolling and enlarging is a major demotivator.  I have to constantly recall which page I'm on, then refresh the page, make a mad dash for the numbered page the comics are in, enlarge the section, and hope I image capture enough for posterity.  Not to mention that by the time I'm done, I won't be able to browse the rest of the comics page as well.

With that little rant out of my system, I've been going through the microfiche archives of my newspaper, and among other comics, there was the Sunday feature called Drawn and Quartered that would feature a whole page of political cartoons from multiple newspapers.  They were visually interesting, even as the subject matter was beyond my ability to understand.

Some of them had Movie posters of Brian Mulroney.


Other political cartoons covered a wide breath of subjects (usually revolving around the Middle East), showing that for all the passage of time, things haven't changed much.

Racist cops...

Kavanaugh confirmation...

Brexit...

Saddam Hussein's origins...

President Hillary...

Fighting Nazis.

Probably the biggest issue is this one, which shows how enthusiasm for politics can die down after in a politically motivated election period, which may be why polling takes place during the end of the year, when the weather gets colder, as temperaments likewise cool off, and apathy settles in.

With all the insanity that's taking place, one of the most recent piece of news that affects Canada is the renegotiation of NAFTA, renamed as USMCA, which is just NAFTA under a different name, putting America first.

Before Trump came along, NAFTA was generally regarded as a good deal, having equal trading between three countries, so it was surprising to see that it was seen as a potentially disastrous proposal at first.



Part of the underlying fear was that Canada didn't have much to offer in return for American products, and would be taken advantage of.







Mexico doesn't exactly come off in a good light, and in the end, it all comes down to American values.

Remember the Caine!

Recently, there's been more and more references to comparing the current Presidential Administration to the Caine Mutiny, where an increasingly unbalanced and paranoid Captain Queeg's position of command is taken over against his will.  Gee, I wonder why?

While rewatching the movie, there were several factors that jumped out at me that went unnoticed at first.  It occurred to me that there were several things that would be completely different if it were made today.  There's going to be minor spoilers for a 60+ year-old movie, the general audience primary point of knowledge would be the MAD satire (back when it was first in colour, and issue number was in the double digits), who many would vastly prefer over the source material.

First off, the main major complaint that I'm sure many people would have is that the Romantic subplot is totally superfluous, distracting, and could be cut out entirely without missing anything of substance.  I'm sure there are people who've internally memorized the whole crew present during the "Strawberry Incident", but for the life of them, can't recall the Girlfriend's name.

The movie starts out with a clean-cut boy of high standing graduating from University who has great expectations and high ambitions, and is slightly embarrassed to be dating a girl who's a dancer.  Upon being drafted into the Navy, he suddenly finds himself onboard a naval M*A*S*H boat of sloppy organization and slipshod crewmanship, well below his expected standards.

Dismayed at the conditions of the minesweeper going through the motions, and annoyed at being punished despite trying his best compared to the lackluster behavior of the crew.  Willie is secretly delighted when he finds out the current Captain is going to be replaced with someone with more experience - someone who'll make the ship shipshape.  That is, until Captain Queeg starts exhibiting irrational behavior ranging from being easily distracted by miniscule details (focusing on a soldier's shirt tails over the circular route of a ship cutting their towline), overly controlling, punishing the crew for minor infractions, and ordering a stripdown over a key he already knows doesn't exist.

While Queeg's actions seem excessive, they're waived by his impressive history of past naval knowledge and experience... which is completely glossed over.  You'd have to read the book to know that, but none of that knowledge comes across onscreen.

So naturally, from the displays of cowardice, irrationality and general failure of winning over the hearts of the crewmen who've had it far too easy with their previous Captain, Queeg fails to inspire loyalty.  There are whispers of Queeg being mentally imbalanced, paranoid, and playing with Freudian steel balls.  And his actions don't help much when he freezes up when the fragile ship is assaulted during a typhoon, save for remaining insistent on staying on course, which could potentially put the whole ship in jeopardy.  So then the first mate decides to mutiny there and then.

And then the focus shifts away from Willie to Maryk, leaving the main active character into being an impartial passive observer.  Not very many movies would take that route.

If the Caine Mutiny were being remade today, Humphrey Bogart would still be dead.  But more than that, the primary identifiable character wouldn't be the straight-laced Willie, it would be Maryk.  After all, he's admittedly "not that smart", and was easily manipulated by Keefer to record Queeg's increasingly irrational behavior.  It's Maryk who's the one on trial for insubordination, not Willie.

For the longest time, I was confused because Maryk wasn't anywhere close to sounding like Van Johnson.  That was until I realized that he was named after the Actor, and not the character.  Much like how Jack, the Nameless Protagonist in Fight Club (I am Jack's utter lack of surprise), was re-Christened Edward Norton in some captioned versions of the cult movie.

As far as I can tell, Willie's main function is to show his transition from breaking away from his domineering parents.  (His father was the one who pulled strings in the background so he'd have a 'respectable' Captain)  And early on, when he was serving under Captain DeVries, he continually made mistakes that got him reprimanded, because he was undermined by men who didn't respect him. At the very end, he was asked what it'd be like to work for a crew that was constantly under-appreciating and undermining his work ethics.  He admitted that anybody under those conditions would be subject to great strain, clearly speaking from experience.

But those details are lost in a sea of irrelevant details.  The audience is expected to recall that scene of seemingly insignificance where Willie complained to Captain DeVries that would be washed away in comparison to the more memorable Captain Queeg moments.  The problem is, in between those scenes are the Romance subplots that as I mentioned before, distract from the issue, don't really go anywhere, and create artificial drama.  If the remake concentrated solely from the viewpoint of Maryk, it would be a vastly marked improvement, alongside the likes of A Few Good Men.

Hollywood Filmmakers nowadays generally pander to a lower common denominator, and Maryk would certainly fit the bill.  He's well-meaning, but gullible to armchair psychiatry, and doesn't find out just exactly how he's been fooled after the fact.  And there's the heightened factor of personal risk, when the audience is invested in someone from the start.  These traits would be a strong convincing argument for why Maryk should be the central character.

Losing Willie's personal opinion wouldn't be much of a loss in this trade-off.