(Author’s note - I’ve had this draft on the backlog for so long that the opener which was intended to be shown at the beginning has already bypassed long past it’s relevant sell-by date, and has been moved further down after my personal story.)
Showing posts with label Archie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Archie. Show all posts
Monday, June 9, 2025
Friday, November 11, 2022
How Embarrassing...?
One of the first writing assignments I was ever given in High School was to write about my most embarrassing moment. I just wrote down something along the likes of, “Having to write this stupid infantile meaningless (etc.)... essay.” It was a litany of double-spaced synonyms stretching down the page, and after handing it in, I was told to redo it properly.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to write up something personally embarrassing to me. It was that I couldn’t remember one. To me, being unable to think up anything was embarrassing in itself.
I couldn’t remember anything that could be considered embarrassing, so I made something up that could be considered embarrassing to other people. That essay was accepted and praised for being more honest. But I can’t recall a word I wrote.
I’ve never been accustomed to feeling embarrassed. Being self-conscious about being seen doing something in public, sure. Being uncomfortable about reading / watching something that makes me emotionally insecure, sure. But, not typical things that would normally embarrass other people. I didn’t mind when my Mom showed up at school to give presentations and help out. She was looking out and supporting me.
As a kid, I would be late for when the school bus came to pick me up, being more preoccupied with the TV. At first, Mom had me go to school in my pyjamas, *certain* that the shame would shake me out of my complacency. It didn’t.
I only changed my habits when I went to school without having lunch prepared, and then wasn’t allowed to have any food. The teachers had been warned beforehand, and were told not to share their lunches with me, no matter how much I complained, even as they agonized over my reactions, but my Mom said it was necessary. When I came home that day, I was practically starving, and my Mom said something along the likes of, “If you had been prepared before the bus came, you would’ve had lunch.”
Since then, I’ve always made it a point to be on time for anything.
It might’ve seemed borderline abusive at the time, but she was just applying Logical Consequences, which are different from Natural Consequences, where a child learns things after making silly mistakes and figuring things out, which is pretty much the mainstay of children’s TV episodes. Once the child realizes that certain actions result in certain consequences, they’ll be better prepared to avoid doing that again. But other times, there are moments when simply learning the lesson afterwards doesn’t work, or won’t stick without outside intervention.
My main problem was that I never learned these potentially reputation-saving lessons until long after the fact.
When most other students would have been embarrassed at the concept of sex ed, I just engaged the lessons with the same clinical detachment as any other class, having been familiar with the source material, thanks to books like Where Did I Come From? and What’s Happening to Me?, which explained body functions like the most normal thing in the world with silly drawings.
That in turn led to me being called the 12-letter ‘M’ word. (No, the other one)
One time in class, the teacher gave a question. I don’t remember the question, let alone what subject we were talking about. It could’ve been ‘things that were once thought to be harmful’, but I remember the answer I piped up with, which was, “Like Masturbating?” which elicited tons of laughs from all the students around me. I had no idea what was so funny, and it had to be explained that even though the text said the act wasn’t something to be ashamed of, what I said wasn’t the kind of thing normally said in public conversation. For about a year, I was paired up with a lab partner who disparagingly nickednamed me ‘Masturbation’.
Even though the act was on my mind, having it continuously pointed out and reminded really rankled on me. I couldn’t understand why these High School teens were so utterly infantile about basic sexuality. (Looking back on my thoughts and actions now, that should’ve been a big honking clue)
To this day, I have reoccurring dreams of being naked at school, but in these scenarios, I’m more concerned about completing my 3-month project due in 2 weeks that I haven’t even started and didn’t even know about.
I also never understood what was supposed to be so funny about men wearing women’s clothes.
If it was okay for women to wear men’s clothes, then shouldn’t the reverse be true? Just wear whatever’s comfortable! If the clothes you want to wear are on the other side of the rack, that shouldn’t be a deterrent, just as long as it fits.
I don’t really care about fashion or style, just function. My choices are fairly basic. I prefer to wear soft clothes with seamless seams, little social commentary (allegiance to specific sports teams or cartoons are visually distracting) I’ve often had to have the holes in my clothes pointed out, since I’m so used to feeling comfortable, and don’t really care about how I’m perceived.
When I started getting more invested in comics that weren’t of the Newspaper variety, I was quite enthusiastic about reading digest collections of Richie Rich and Archie. (Don’t sneer - they were extremely popular and cheap) But the more I read them, the more I noticed that there was an element in these comics that kept cropping up that annoyed me. It wasn’t the repetitive plots, the page limitations or the corny jokes. It was that the sentences invariably ended with exclamation points, and there were very few instances where periods were put in place, and that put me off. (Question marks didn’t count)
When I become overexposed to media, I become hyper-aware of the limitations of the form, and once notice something that keeps showing up, it becomes impossible to ignore, especially when certain themes start to show up.
I don’t know when it started (probably around Twilight & the Hunger Games), but I got annoyed when dystopian stories struggling under suppression started shoehorning in romance plots which only served to distract, particularly love triangles that hardly elevated the story, and would’ve benefited from their absence. Why did EVERY story need a forced romance subplot? Being more interested in creating artificial drama than authentic chemistry.
I got so annoyed by this that I even parodied this outlook early on in my WebNovel:
Sunday, October 31, 2021
Disturbing Stuff: Asexual Zimmerman Fanfic
How could someone introduce an Asexual at the very end of an erotic fanfic? For those of you curious about the fanfic I mentioned when talking about my Asexuality, I’ll give a rough summary of the general outline I had in mind. There will be several compressed stories with the humourous highlights left intact. I tried to make it as SFW as possible without showing any of the images, but large swatches of the narrative still sounds very very dirty.
Fans of Zimmerman’s drawings should have an idea of what I’m referencing.
For those who don’t want to read all the parodic elements and skip straight to the disturbing parts, search for the word ‘Remember’ and read down from there.
Saturday, October 10, 2020
The Darkest Silliest Stupidest Timeline (2019)
“Who’s got the worstest disposition? One guess — guess who! Who’d always, always start an argument? Who never shows a bit of compassion? Who’s always wrong but never right? Who’d always dream of starting a fight? Who sticks bad luck with all the chumps? No one but Donald Trump!”
"You don't need to see the evidence that absolutely exonerates us completely!"
This is the last of the collected Facebook subjects and commentary from 2019, back when things seemed like they couldn’t possibly get worse, they suddenly did. The Mueller report turned out to be a dud. Impeachment fell apart due to a large section of Republican Senators simply refusing to condemn their beloved President, even as he continued to disparage them.
There’s nothing new that I can possibly add to the table that hasn’t already been said hundreds of times already. You’ve made up your mind if you haven’t been convinced otherwise. Or when Trump says we want more immigration from places like Norway. WHAT COULD HE BE IMPLYING? "No shenanigans. I only want Norwegians."
Considering the current Chinese Curse, I'm sure we can agree that we'd LOVE to be bored. I'd just like to have a Liberal President and a Liberal Prime Minister working together for longer than a year.
Whenever a white guy goes on a killing spree (and let's face it, it's almost always a white guy) the first reaction is usually, "Wow, he must be crazy." But if the killer is a Muslim or a person of color, the state of his mental health is rarely if ever questioned; it's just assumed that he's violent and dangerous because that's what "those people" are like.
White Supremacy IS a Mental Illness, though you'd never hear them admit it.
"It's utterly discriminatory to label all white guys as having mental health issues!"
Are These ‘I’d Rather Be a Russian Than a Democrat’ Shirts Real?
Then: "Better Dead than a Red!"
Now: "Better Red than a Dead!"
Trump 'not even sure' his team requested the USS John McCain be kept out of sight
"Maybe it happened and maybe it didn't! Who can know for sure?"
Trump finds a Rear Admiral willing to take the fall for his incorrect Alabama hurricane projection
"Go to jail. Go STRAIGHT to jail. And pay me $200."
This poor naive fool must think he is saving the President's honor from liberal slander.
Trump will merely see, "what else can I blame on this tool? He cheated on my taxes! And defunded building the wall! And wrote every misspelled tweet! Everything everybody complains about was his fault! But not the Chinese Tariffs! That is still the greatest deal I've ever made!"
Tax documents show Trump businesses lost more than $1 billion in a decade
"HEY! Those are private! And you have to spend money to make money!"
"Only *I* am allowed to spend funds fraudulently!"
A frustrated Trump questions his administration’s Venezuela strategy
"I can't build any hotels there!"
How long can Dems hold back on impeachment?
Hypothetical question - if the Democrats take back the Senate AND keep their seats on Congress, AND Trump somehow STILL gets re-elected, can they impeach a re-elected President?
Nixon was re-elected.
Yes, but did the impeachment proceedings happen on Election Day?
They could, if Trump wins Electoral College but loses popular vote again.
Trump says John Kerry ‘should be prosecuted’ for meetings with Iranian officials
Said Trump: “I’d like to see — with Iran, I’d like to see them call me. You know, John Kerry speaks to them a lot. John Kerry tells them not to call. That’s a violation of the Logan Act. And frankly, he should be prosecuted on that. But my people don’t want to do anything that’s — only the Democrats do that kind of stuff, you know? If it were the opposite way, they’d prosecute him under the Logan Act.”
He keeps whine-threatening. AND text-complaining. Governing via passive-aggressiveness, aggressive-aggressiveness AND massive-aggressiveness.
These people constantly deny the Holocaust happened, yet cry out for a genocide of Jews and minorities.
Tennessee judge posts article stating Jews should ‘get the f*** over the Holocaust’
"So, you're saying there WAS a holocaust?"
"There totally wasn't! And anyways, we should kill another 6 million just to be sure!"
Trump says he’d ‘absolutely’ send troops to the Middle East
Trump dismissed last night’s New York Times story on the administration’s internal debate over sending 120,000 troops to the Middle East to counter Iran as “fake news.”
But, he added: “Would I do that? Absolutely. But we have not planned for that. Hopefully we won’t have to plan for that. If we did that we would send a hell of a lot more troops than that.”
"We would send twelve million troops over. Maybe even twelve billion troops."
"That's more than the population of - "
"Twelve trillion troops."
"What can I say that won't get anybody in trouble?"
"Try 'I Resign.'"
"I refuse to answer on the grounds that I might get in trouble."
Trump on impeachment and Nixon: ‘He left. I don’t leave.’
The difference between him and Richard Nixon. "Everybody leaves me. I don't leave. I've always been here."
Exclusive: Trump Calls Alleged Iranian Attack on Oil Tankers 'Very Minor'
"It was the SMALLEST attack done on one of our ships. Hardly anything worth mentioning. Why are we still talking about this? We should be talking about MY ship!"
Trump Tells His Team to Tone Down the Tough Talk on Iran
What does Iran have on Trump?
Britain's man in the the US says Trump is 'inept'
"He's the most inept political figure we've ever seen. And considering that we have Boris Johnson, that's saying something."
Ross Perot, self-made billionaire, patriot and philanthropist, dies at 89
NO! Now he'll NEVER be President!
"Have you read the Mueller report yet?"
"I'm waiting for the movie to come out."
Feds end investigation into Trump Org and hush money payments
“Federal prosecutors in New York have ended their investigation into the Trump Organization’s role in hush money payments made to women who alleged affairs with President Trump and have been ordered by a judge to release additional information connected to their related probe of former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen.”
"Our investigation in Trump's illegal dealing has ended. Now, we move on to the next fifty dozen investigations on Trump's illegal dealings!"
One of the more disappointing abuses of power is the ICE rounding up of immigrants at the border, separating children from their parents and putting them in cages all in an effort to discourage crossing the border and justifying the existence of the Trump Wall, which is this century's Maginot line.
"What are you complaining about? Stop calling it a Holocaust Genocide! ONLY five million people have died so far! And we're getting calls for MORE deaths, so we're not as bad as you think! It’s one million less deaths than the first holocaust, which probably never happened!"
Candace Owens visits ICE immigration center: "It's nicer than every school I attended!"
WHAT SCHOOL DID SHE GO TO?!
But sure, they're not Concentration Camps.
Senate Candidate Arrested Trying To Deliver Supplies To Detained Kids
"The Democrats are to blame for our not-Concentration Camps not having enough faculties!"
"Here, have some supplies."
"What you're trying to do is illegal. Stop being decent!"
Justice Department plans to restart capital punishment after long hiatus
“The Justice Department announced Thursday that it plans to resume executing prisoners awaiting the death penalty, ending almost two decades in which the federal government had not imposed capital punishment on prisoners.”
"Stop calling our Immigration Detention chambers Concentration camps! They're not Death camps!"
"Yet."
Ohio Trump campaign chair Kathy Miller says there was 'no racism' before Obama
"If there weren't uppity Black people, Racism wouldn't exist!"
"I NEED those five yachts to take me to work!"
"Your office is near the highway. WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO?!"
"Gotta have someplace to live once all the ice caps melt!"
So many the Republicans had a pressing need to have more yachts than spending money on their citizens for things they might actually need, such as food, education and medicine. And now, thanks to pleasure cruises being cancelled, those very same large ships are being shipped to the scrapyard. How's that investment working out for you so far?
Trump is increasingly relying on himself — not his aides — in trade war with China
"Once all my competitors go bankrupt, I'll buy them up at bargain-basement rates! And I'll put my name on all of them!"
"GOD told me to do it."
"That's no legal defense."
"In his mind, the President is GOD."
"Oh, that makes it all better then."
"Are you being sarcastic, your Honor?"
"At this point, I can no longer tell."
Bank of America raises chance of a recession to 1-in-3 in the next 12 months
"40% in the next 11 months."
"No, 50% in the next 10 months."
"No, 60% in the next 3 months."
"Enough with these monthly updates!"
"These are daily updates."
Ken Cuccinelli: Statue Of Liberty Poem About ‘People Coming From Europe’
Asked Burnett: “‘Wretched,’ ‘poor,’ ‘refuse’ – right? That’s what the poem says America is supposed to stand for. So what do you think America stands for?”
Said Cuccinelli: “Well, of course, that poem was referring back to people coming from Europe, where they had class-based societies, where people were considered wretched if they weren’t in the right class.”
"White people and 10s only!"
Mark Sanford says he’s ‘growing ever closer’ to launching a GOP primary challenge against Trump
"We're approaching Zeno's Paradox levels of getting there."
North Korea Launches 2 Projectiles; South Korean Experts Blame Trump
"They promised to only aim at countries that wouldn't let me build hotels on 'em."
Trump keeps pushing anti-Semitic stereotypes. But he thinks he’s praising Jews.
“So is Trump a philo-Semite or an anti-Semite? The answer is both. The principle that explains his seemingly contradictory outlook toward Jews is simple: Trump believes all the anti-Semitic stereotypes about Jews. But he sees those traits as admirable.”
“To Trump, the belief that Jews are foreign interlopers who use their wealth to serve their own clannish interests is not a negative — as it is for traditional anti-Semites — but rather a positive. He wants Jews to be his attorneys and manage his money, so that he, too, can be rich. He wants them in his political corner, so that he, too, can be powerful. He wants to buy politicians, just like they do.”
“As a man who has always stood solely for his own naked self-interest, Trump does not see the anti-Semitic conception of the self-interested Jew as a complaint, but rather a compliment. He prioritizes his needs ahead of the national interest, and so he sees the idea that Jews might do the same with themselves or with Israel as entirely natural.”
"I'm signing to make it legal to put blood in bread."
"That's an anti-Semitic MYTH."
"There's a myth?"
Trump cancels trip to Poland, says he is staying in the U.S. to monitor Hurricane Dorian
"I'll go invade Poland later. There's no buttered popcorn. And I can't throw a nuke at Puerto Rico. This is the most boring hurricane ever since the last one!"
Republicans Criticize Trump's Planned Meeting With The Taliban Scheduled Days Before 9/11
"How DARE Trump make the Republicans look bad!"
This is literally the plot of Liberality for All, a Right-wing political comic about the fear of being in an ultra-Liberal extremist society where Osama Bin Ladin is a UN ambassador, and Michael Moore is Vice President.
"The Taliban never drove a plane in MY towers! They can't be all that bad! And my tower became the highest towers in New York! Higher than the Empire State Building! Look at this comparison chart!"
"Isn't this drawn with a sharpie - "
"THE HIGHEST."
"Aren't you taking advantage of a national tragedy - "
"Less than 3,000 people actually died there! And the 9,000 Jews who were warned off should PAY for it!"
Trump cancels secret meeting with Taliban leaders, Afghan president after attack
"Let me build a hotel in Afghanistan! Then you can fly all the planes you want into it, and I'll collect the insurance! It's Win-Lose!"
‘You’re a prop in the back’: Advisers struggle to obey Trump’s Kafkaesque rules
Said one former Trump official: “There is no person that is part of the daily Trump decision-making process that can survive long term. The president doesn’t like people to get good press. He doesn’t like people to get bad press. Yet he expects everyone to be relevant and important and supportive at all times. Even if a person could do all those things, the president would grow tired of anyone in his immediate orbit.”
Schoedinger's Heisenberg efficiency candidate.
8 Years of Trump Tax Returns Are Subpoenaed by Manhattan D.A.
"...you can have the years 1914, 1920, 1921, 1922, 1940, 1944, 1962 and 2000, though 1980-2019 are off-limits, as well are 1920-1922, and anything between 1939 and 1945."
Trump says he is worthy of a Nobel Prize ‘for a lot of things’ — but isn’t treated fairly
There's no Nobel Prize for "Most Compulsive Liar".
"Well there SHOULD be!"
Senate Republicans split over Trump urging Ukrainian leader to investigate Biden
"It was an awful mistake, but not THAT big a mistake if the Democrats are complaining about it."
Trump without strategy in fast-moving impeachment inquiry
"I'm not in trouble!" says President in trouble.
-He doesn't have strategies. ever.
-As noted elsewhere, he is REALLY BAD when under pressure; it's just that we rarely see him under actual, real, minute-to-minute pressure. (The Mueller investigation was a long-term slow cooker.) Right now he's having to make one decision after another, and blowing any one decision makes everything exponentially worse, and he's blowing quite a few. (To be fair, I don't know that releasing the report and the memo were actually BAD ideas because they were going to come out eventually anyway, but still, he made the call and they didn't help him and now he's panicking harder.)
-Both he AND Rudy, within hours of each other, made perfectly clear how much evidence they were willing to give up on other people to save themselves. They're basically the equivalent of a sweaty 19-year-old perp in the ninth hour of a police interrogation when the detective says "let's start over from the beginning" and they have no idea of the order of the previous lies they told.
The Risks of Impeachment Are Overblown
"Those pleas for not being thrown in the briar patch turns out not to have lived in the briar patch all their lives."
Shortly after he got news that he was being investigated by the FBI, you'd think Trump would ease off on doing so much illegal activity. Nope. It only spurred him on further.
“Donald Trump just barely avoided prosecution earlier this year when special counsel Robert Mueller pulled his punches and refused to indict the president for either obstruction of justice or campaign finance violations in connection with the Trump-Russia investigation. Mueller’s decision not to indict Trump came despite overwhelming evidence in Mueller’s own final report that the president of the United States was guilty of a crime.”
“Most people who survive that kind of legal threat would lie low, at least for a while, and try to get back to some level of normalcy. But Trump is a habitual criminal, and his reaction to escaping Mueller’s investigation was to go on yet another crime spree.”
“In fact, Trump has been acting like a bank robber who beat one rap because of a technicality, and so decides to rob every bank in sight.”
"You just beat the indictment! What are you going to do now?"
"I'mma gonna rob a bank."
Orange President Blames Light Bulbs for Making Him Orange
Truly, we are living in the darkest timeline. Literally.
Trump demands Schiff resign over account of Ukraine call
Trump on Friday demanded House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA) “immediately” resign from Congress for reading what the congressman described as a parody of the president’s phone call with Ukraine’s leader that is at the center of a whistleblower complaint, The Hill reports.
Tweeted Trump: “He was supposedly reading the exact transcribed version of the call, but he completely changed the words to make it… sound horrible, and me sound guilty.”
He added: “He was desperate and he got caught. Adam Schiff therefore lied to Congress and attempted to defraud the American Public. He has been doing this for two years. I am calling for him to immediately resign from Congress based on this fraud!”
I mean, if we want to change it so that anyone who misleads the public in any form has to immediately resign, well, Donnie, I don't think that's a *particular* rule you want to see put into action...
"I DIDN'T MISLEAD! IT'S THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA THAT CONSTANTLY PUTS ME IN A BAD LIGHT! Also, bad lightbulbs."
1. “I haven’t seen the whistleblower report so I can’t comment.”
2. “I’m a potential juror if there’s a Senate trial so I shouldn’t comment.”
3. Radio silence, pursed lips, rapid escape.
I'll only enforce the law of the land if it doesn't interfere with my re-election. "
Trump admin. questions more than 100 Clinton aides in renewed email probe
"Trump's been found doing collusion. This is clearly Hillary's fault! Somehow!"
History will be cruel to many who saw Trump treachery and DIDN’T become whistle-blowers | Will Bunch
"Looks like it's time to erase/rewrite history!"
Bill Clinton Had a Strategy. Trump Is Doing the Opposite.
"Clinton didn't know what he was doing! I'm the clear winner here!"
Frequent Fox Hosts diGenova and Toensing Reportedly Teamed Up With Giuliani on Ukraine-Biden:
"You know, there are more impeachable revelations per HOUR than I ever expected."
"This is normal behavior. If the President did something truly objectionable, we'd act on it."
"He was caught on camera having oral sex with an underage intern!"
"Perfectly normal behavior."
The GOP’s choice: Betray Trump or betray the country?
Decisions... decisions...
Mick Mulvaney predicts post-impeachment election landslide for Trump
"100% of the population of the US will vote for Trump."
"That's simply impossible - "
"110% or else."
"The math doesn't - "
"He can win with 30% of the vote if 100% of everybody else doesn't show up!"
Novelist Jonathan Lethem: "There is no allegory crude enough" to capture Trump's America
"If you were pitching today's reality as a book or TV series, it would be outright rejected for being too unrealistic. No one would believe it. No one could buy it. It would be too outlandish for anyone to think America would allow themselves to be willingly duped by such an obvious conman. And yet, here we are."
Inside Trump’s Botched Attempt to Hire Trey Gowdy
“For 24 hours last week, Trey Gowdy, the former South Carolina congressman best known for leading congressional investigations of Hillary Clinton, was the new face of President Trump’s outside legal defense and a symbol of a streamlined effort to respond to a fast-moving impeachment inquiry.”
“A day later, the arrangement fell apart, with lobbying rules prohibiting Mr. Gowdy from starting until January, possibly after the inquiry is over. Now, according to two people familiar with events, Mr. Gowdy is never expected to join the team. And Trump advisers are back to square one, searching for a different lawyer.”
"Lionel Hutz, A.K.A. Miguel Sanchez A.K.A. Dr. Nguyen Van Thoc A.K.A. Saul Goodman A.K.A. the guy working in Kripsy Kreme was found for his actions in protecting the drug lord known as Heisenberg. He will be jailed for 30 days and fined $8."
"If you can impeach Presidents willy-nilly, it'll threaten the whole American institution!"
How Trump Lost the Impeachment Narrative
“Catchphrases have always defined Donald Trump’s presidency. In the same way that ‘no collusion, no obstruction’ went hand in hand with the Mueller report, Democrats have managed to turn ‘quid pro quo’ into the tagline for the current impeachment inquiry. It’s perhaps the first time since Trump entered office that Democrats have managed to wrangle the first word on a presidential scandal—which puts them in a better position than ever to have the final word, too.”
“Caught in unfamiliar terrain, the White House appears to be lost in this pivotal moment. And Republicans, bereft of guidance, have found themselves either mangling their attempts to defend the president or, as a growing number appear to be, unwilling to even try.”
"No quid pro quo!"
"There WAS quid pro quo."
"Stop stealing my best lines! That's a quid pro quo!"
The Trump Impeachment Inquiry Should Become Public
Tell Trump he'll get great ratings. He'll jump at the chance to show how GREAT he is at debating!
Key Witness in Impeachment Inquiry Asks Federal Court to Rule Over Testifying
“A key witness in the impeachment investigation filed a lawsuit Friday asking a federal judge to rule on whether he can testify, a move that raises new doubts about whether President Trump’s closest aides, like the former national security adviser, John Bolton, will be able to cooperate with the inquiry,” the New York Times reports.
“House Democrats had subpoenaed the witness, Charles Kupperman, who served as Mr. Trump’s deputy national security adviser, to testify on Monday. But in an effort to stop Mr. Kupperman from doing so, the White House said on Friday that the president had invoked ‘constitutional immunity,’
Kirk Boxleitner "Constitutional immunity." They're literally just throwing out bullshit phrases.
WTF does that even MEAN? Is he trying to create some kind of constitutional executive privilege bullshit? Does he actually think that shit exists?
HOW has Pence not invoked the 25th yet? Is he too stupid or too cowardly? Or both?
Again, Pence wants to be president even less than WE want him to be president.
This is what happens when dime-store lawyers try to wing it.
-And yeah, "constitutional immunity" literally has no precedent of any kind, anywhere. It doesn't even have a DEFINITION. I would bet five PayPal dollars that, if the judge asked Trump's lawyers what "constitutional immunity" actually MEANS, they’d react like trying to explain sunny-bird law.
-I don't even think this is dime store winging. I think Trump said that out loud, believed it was brilliant, convinced himself that BECAUSE it was brilliant it MUST be in the Constitution, and the lawyers are running with it just for the paycheck. They still get paid, win or lose, so they're just taking the easy route and nodding and smiling, because what good will arguing logic, reason, and fact do?
-"It means exactly what it means! Immunity from the Constitution!"
-The problem is, past a certain point of disingenuously dumb, you can literally lose your law license for making arguments like this.
With as much trouble Trump’s made with his constant tweeting, you’d think someone on his staff would try to take his phone away from him. Or at least have the company ban him.
Twitter to start refusing all political ads
"What about Trump?"
"His posts barely even qualify as being political."
Former Acting Attorney General: ‘Abuse of Power Is Not a Crime’
"It's not a crime when the President abuses power!"
Why Congress Might Impeach Trump and Actually Remove Him From Office
"We need to re-enact the sniping scene in the Shawskank Redemption."
"Mr. President! The Deep State's trying to kill you!"
Trump’s War on the ‘Deep State’ Turns Against Him
Nameless, faceless and voiceless, the C.I.A. officer who first triggered the greatest threat to President Trump’s tenure in office seemed to be practically the embodiment of the ‘deep state’ that the president has long accused of trying to take him down.”
“But over the last three weeks, the deep state has emerged from the shadows in the form of real live government officials, past and present, who have defied a White House attempt to block cooperation with House impeachment investigators and provided evidence that largely backs up the still-anonymous whistle-blower.”
Turns out the real Deep Staters were the Republican Senators we 'made' all along.
Gish Gallop, takin' a plop. Runnin' 'round like a horsie clop.
Trump dismisses need for impeachment team: 'I'm the team. I did nothing wrong.'
"I alone am strong enough to take on everyone at once."
"With all due respect sir, you're not a Dalek."
"Of course not! I'm much more stronger, smarter and handsomer than a Dialek!"
"You know what a Dalek is, right?"
"Dialups are nothing compared to me!"
"They're a genocidal race hell-bent on exterminating anything that's not a Dalek."
"Sounds like my kind of people! Ring them up and see if they'll allow one of my hotels on their properties!"
'I feel bad that I left': John Kelly warned Trump he would be impeached
"I hated every second spent together, and wish I'd stayed longer."
Schumer: 'Increasingly worried' Trump will shut down government over impeachment
"They can't impeach me if the Government's shutdown, can they? Let's find out!"
Trump invites Republican senators for lunch and makes his case against impeachment
"I am the least impeachable President in all of history!"
As Trump moves to bully witnesses and derail impeachment, Democrats see obstruction
"I am the most innocent President that ever existed! These are the actions of a totally innocent man!"
Trump’s Allies Growing Desperate for Defenses of Ukraine Scandal
"We don't need a WAR room! We need a Peace room to protect us from all this WAR going on around us!"
“He is the war room. We don’t feel the need for a war room.”
— White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, on Fox News, dismissing the need for a “war room” to defend President Trump from impeachment.
"He sucks so much oxygen in the room he's practically a room unto himself."
Lindsey Graham claims Trump is too incompetent to pull off a quid pro quo
"He had to get someone like me to do it for him!"
A defense that Trump overturned almost immediately:
Trump wants you to know he’s smart enough to do Quid Pro Quo
"So, there WAS a quid pro quo?"
"I'm a master negotiator! I could've easily quid pro quoed anytime I wanted!"
There’s a Surprisingly Plausible Path to Removing Trump From Office
By most everyone’s judgment, the Senate will not vote to remove President Donald Trump from office if the House impeaches him. But what if senators could vote on impeachment by secret ballot? If they didn’t have to face backlash from constituents or the media or the president himself, who knows how many Republican senators would vote to remove?
A secret impeachment ballot might sound crazy, but it’s actually quite possible. In fact, it would take only three senators to allow for that possibility.
"Did you vote for the removal of the most inept corrupt President ever, or did you vote against the Party? Tell us!"
"Okay, let's get this covert meeting to get the President removed started."
"HEY TRUMP! THERE'S SOME GUYS WHO WANT TO GET RID OF YOU! I HAVE THEIR NAMES!"
Then there was the time that Trump was mysteriously in the hospital for unspecific reasons.
President Trump spent more than two hours at Walter Reed National Medical Center on Saturday for what the White House said were medical tests as part of his annual physical,
The appointment wasn’t on Trump’s weekend public schedule, and his last physical was in February. Press secretary Stephanie Grisham said the 73-year-old president was ‘anticipating a very busy 2020’ and wanted to take advantage of ‘a free weekend’ in Washington to begin portions of his routine checkup.
She did not specify which tests he’d received or explain why the visit had not been disclosed in advance.
Normally, under these conditions, this would be considered a sign of stress catching up to Trump, and a reason for resigning early for health reasons. But these are hardly normal times.
"The President has some solemn words to say to the nation."
"As a result of this unfairly biased witch hunt - the greatest we've ever seen! - I have been given my latest medical test results, and as I thought, I am the healthiest individual that ever lived."
"No, you were supposed to say the opposite!"
"Don't add more fuel to the fire."
"I'mma gonna drive the gasoline tank over to the suicide protesters!"
"If you're associated with Ukraine dealings, you can't be on the Impeachment board anymore. It would be a conflict of interest. You'll have to be replaced by someone else not involved."
"You may have trouble finding another Republican for that role."
Rick Perry dances toward the exits
He didn’t resign under fire for making sweetheart apartment deals with lobbyists, engaging in dodgy real estate development plans or racking up more than $1 million in taxpayer-funded flights. So by those standards, Energy Secretary Rick Perry’s tenure as a member of President Trump’s Cabinet could count as a relative success.
"SEE! We found ONE guy who wasn't unfairly called corrupt!"
"...yet."
Poll: Majority of Republicans say Trump better president than Lincoln
"This is no longer the party of Lincoln. This is the party of Trump."
"Lincoln was too Liberal to be a Republican! He freed the slaves!"
The job no GOP senator wants: 'I'd rather have a root canal'
Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-GA) is set to retire in approximately a month, creating an opening atop the Senate Ethics Committee, a behind-the-scenes panel responsible for enforcing standards of behavior for senators and their staffs and investigating potential violations of federal law or the Senate’s rules.”
But GOP senators who spoke with The Hill, including current members of the committee, had a nearly universal response when asked if they wanted to take over the Ethics Committee: Thanks, but no thanks.
Republicans: "None of us want to be on the ethics committee."
Ex-GOP House Member Reveals What Republican Lawmakers Say About Donald Trump In Private
"We're all secretly against Trump. But don't tell him we said that."
"We need somebody to say 'NO!' to the President, and we're all to cowardly to do it ourselves!"
Republican Impeachment Defense Claims Trump’s Ukraine Pressure Was Apolitical
House Republicans plan to argue that President Trump was acting on ‘genuine and reasonable’ skepticism of Ukraine and ‘valid’ concerns about possible corruption involving Americans, not political self-interest.
Basically, their defense consists of: "I heard the Ukraine had incriminating evidence on future opponent Biden, and sought to suppress it for ethical reasons."
"The Bidens are clearly to blame! If they weren't so guilty, Trump wouldn't have to be forced to intimidate other countries to look into them in the first place!"
“I am concerned that the atmosphere in the White House is no longer conducive, or no one has the personality to stand up to tell the president what he doesn’t want to hear.”
"We need somebody to say 'NO!' to the President, and we're all to cowardly to do it ourselves!"
"I'll detract from my crimes by pointing out all my other crimes!"
You laugh, but that IS essentially how he got elected.
There was a story posted that I can’t find that likened the Trump term to playing a card game. Every once in awhile, a group of friends would gather around playing poker for the fun of it. The winnings were modest, and strategy consisted of trying to find ways to tell whether someone was bluffing or not.
But the game was ultimately ruined with the addition of one kid, one rich kid, whose presence would wind up breaking the game.
Everybody else around the table had average funds, upping the ante to whatever was within their reasonable profit margin. This rich kid would constantly up the ante far beyond whatever was acceptable, practically winning every game through brute force alone. If someone bet 50 cents, the rich kid would bet $50 at every turn. It didn’t matter if he had good cards or not - his sheer force made what was once a pleasant card game one of one-sided upmanship that was vile to play against.
And even if one of the players actually went through and called his bluff, the rich kid’s losses were so minimal he could afford to lose hundreds of times and not even feel a pinprick of remorse.
In a game, there has to be equality across the board for fairness. That’s why featherweights don’t go up against welterweights.
That’s why it’s so refreshing to have Trump actually face consequences for his actions. For the first time in his life, Trump is faced up against a threat he can’t scream, threaten, or bribe away. He’s infected with Covid-19, and no matter how much he’ll attempt to play it down, it will continue to ravage his internal system, no matter how much drugs they pump him up with. The crash when he comes down from the high will be tremendous.
Trump's inept handling of the Covid pandemic can be summed up in one simple sentence:
"Fission Maccomplished."
Thursday, January 10, 2019
Pre-Jellybean Comics
In the 1990s, the Archie company underwent a wide range of experimentation with their normally static publishing line, pushing into new and weird realms that would be considered borderline commonplace nowadays. One of the unexpected paths taken was the addition of a baby into Jughead’s family, not unlike Elly undergoing sudden pregnancy in For Better or For Worse. They say that when a franchise is flagging and desperate for bursts of creativity, they stave off that by adding a baby to the mix.
The storyline started in the 46th issue of Archie's Pal Jughead, and reached its conclusion in the 50th issue with some follow-up comics in between. The addition of Forsythia, aka Jellybean was sure to bring all kinds of new and exciting storylines... for about five issues.
So far, Jellybean’s remained a elusive presence, barely remembered, and was a recent addition to the live-action Riverdale show, which I have little to no interest in. While that little footnote would remain a bit of barely memorable history, it also branched out to the Archie newspaper comic as well.
The first six strips from the week of May 10-15 are the earliest instances of pre-baby comics I could find, and I thought they would end there as quickly as they came. But looking through further dates showed more comics based on the pregnancy. They were really devoting themselves to this.
However, around June, the newspaper these comics were found in had large holes in their online collection, and I didn't have the time or sources to find alternatives. Any that I've missed will have to be left to the dustbin of history.
Even at this late stage, they were still allowing audiences with the illusion of choice in the result. And after the baby was finally born, they weren't quite yet finished milking the cow, even as the potential was dry upon delivery.
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| A big brother, not a father, in case anyone was wondering. |
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| One of the items on my bucket list is to prowl the hallway of the maternity ward during a storm, and when asked for the gender of the child, respond in sync with a flash of lightning, "IT'S ALIVE!!!" |
The first six strips from the week of May 10-15 are the earliest instances of pre-baby comics I could find, and I thought they would end there as quickly as they came. But looking through further dates showed more comics based on the pregnancy. They were really devoting themselves to this.
However, around June, the newspaper these comics were found in had large holes in their online collection, and I didn't have the time or sources to find alternatives. Any that I've missed will have to be left to the dustbin of history.
Even at this late stage, they were still allowing audiences with the illusion of choice in the result. And after the baby was finally born, they weren't quite yet finished milking the cow, even as the potential was dry upon delivery.
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