Happy Mother's Birthday!

It's one year after my sister's had her baby, and things have progressed pretty much as you'd expect.  The little grub has been pretty much helpless, relying on her parents for substance, waking and sleeping at all hours, constantly pooping, and stubbornly refusing to comply with simple orders.  Progress is gradually being made, but it's taking an inordinable amount of time getting there.

The problem with Organic Computers is that they take SO LONG to upload information and updates.

Still, her parents have somehow managed to keep their sense of good humour about, which is a sheer necessity in keeping their sanity intact.  And when certain incidents such as getting caught in the rain while taking the toddler out for a stroll in the carriage, I come up with relevant comics that perfectly capture the essence of what they're going through.


It has also been an invaluable learning experience in getting used to the presence of a baby, since their very existence makes me anxious.  I'm typically nervous around the presence of children, because their actions are so wild and unpredictable.  (In large Field Trip groups, they're always romping around and yelling at the top of their lungs)  Not to mention that I'm always afraid of saying or doing something that might wind up corrupting their impressible young minds.

However, as an "Uncle Herman", I'm given some leeway to corrupt this impressible young mind with all kinds of salacious reading material that I've got lying around just asking to be read.  But first, she needs to be able to read before getting around to the underground and hardcore stuff, so I've been snatching up all kinds of children's books at nearby Bazaars, Libraries and Garage Sales, picking up loads of books that I enjoyed (and wanted to share) on the cheap.  Among my top fears for the new baby (being born Deaf & on the Autism Spectrum) was that she would wind up being Dyslexic, and unable to enjoy the wide variety of available reading material I'd selected for her enjoyment.  Fortunately, she's managed to personally choose a different book for reading time out of the stuff she's currently got on her age-appropriate bookshelf.

If I'd known that VHS Fansubs would become a rarity,
I would've copied more of them when I had the chance,
rather than let them lounge away in the relative safety of my mind.

Even though we already got a whole bunch of second-hand books from the neighbor across from us, I'm not entirely satisfied with their choices.  (Some are about Barney, and two of them have the problematic Elmo in them)  In Addition to the collection of said children's books, there were at least three boxes of unused baby toys that would seemingly appeal to their age demographic.  Ranging from puzzle shapes to flashy battery-operated machines, to colourful wooden blocks.  And of course, the thing she most liked to play with turned out to be an empty yogurt container.  (You can drum on it, roll it around, and knock it on the floor)

Shortly after I showed my sister this comic, they gave her a toilet paper tube, which she enjoyed to pieces.

Since the simplest toys seemed to be the kind of things that'd best attract her attention, I suggested using the interior of an empty DVD stand that'd been used up of its discs burning homemade teaching videos for Elderly Hard-of-Hearing students.  This was shot down on account of the pointy implement being a potential poking hazard for someone still not in full control of their physical movement.  I guess I'm not the most reliable source for entertainment purposes.

Some of the books I've found are WAY above her recommended reading level,
but I'm preparing for the future, when these books may not be readily available.

There was a brief scare when she started getting sick, and her arm swelled up to uncomfortable proportions.  She had to be admitted to the hospital, where the doctors ran all kinds of tests trying to figure out what was wrong with her.  Then, just as suddenly as the symptoms appeared, they gradually faded away, leaving only suppositions and guesses for what she was suffering from.  She was quite upset, because there was an IV tube implemented onto her swollen hand, and she couldn't suck her thumb to relieve her pressure.  She's feeling better now, but whatever it was she had has now transferred to her parents, who now have to deal with her raucous behavior while fighting off the flu themselves.

Myself, I was concerned that I bought all these books for nothing, and she'd never get the chance to enjoy them.
Yes, I'm that shallow.

To simplify the sheer amount of coincidental celebration revolving around this month, (MY birthday, the Baby's birthday, my Mother's birthday, Mother's Day AND my Sister's first Mother's Day) we've decided to simplify things by celebrating all said days into one lump sum.  (Reverse-engineering the day of conception, there must be something about the Month of August)  It especially helps in narrowing down potential gifts to give my Mother that can't simply be waved away by a cheap homemade card.  I could give her a gift certificate, if she wasn't strictly opposed to accumulating more books that she doesn't really need to reread over again.  At least there's always flowers, which she doesn't mind replanting in front of the house, even though they always wind up with a shelf life of three months.

Of course, it'd be extremely difficult to top the gift my sister gave Mom last year.  But since I can't crap out a baby out of my privates, the next best thing I can do is write my thoughts with amusing relevant comics attached.  Here's hoping it'll be good enough to stave her off for another year until I can think of something better.

Ruining What was Once Mine

In a desperate attempt to show that they're not running a Lame Duck Presidency after the first hundred days, the Republican Party rushed a hastily revised plan to dismantle ObamaCare that very narrowly squeaked by at a rate of 217 For to 213 Against.  Most of it arranged by underhanded means after the last attempt to do so failed, because it wasn't considered harsh enough.  And few of the voters understood what the bill meant.

While I'm not personally affected (living in Canada), I'm still worried for the people in the States who may very well be punished just for the sin of not inherited a fortune from their parents.  The recent push to repeal ObamaCare has been fraught by outcries of protests not just from the most vulnerable who will be affected, but also from Insurance companies and doctors.  While the Health Plan wasn't perfect, they oppose fixing the parts that weren't broken.  The new revisions expand enormously on Pre-existing conditions that would make a potentially sick person illegible for insurance claims, including traits such as Acne, Anxiety, Depression, Obesity and Pregnancy.  Astute observers noticed that most of these traits are explicitly aimed at Women.  The largest summation of this whole mess that I've heard was given as a "Screw You, I Got Mine" mentality.  I'd never heard of it expressed in that way before, let alone seen it in any other form of media.

When put in that context, it changes the above comic from something approaching sentimentalism into something more selfish.  It's everybody out for themselves, and those who don't have wealth should work for it.  Especially since said Republicans have made themselves exempt from any of the health penalties that would benefit the people they're supposed to work for.  In theory, this may be designed to increase their ranks of desperate politicians who want to join their party just for the health perks, but if they die off before they get there, that's not a very promising outlook.  They're all for defunding programs that could help other people the same way it benefited them.  This perplexing philosophy basically boils down to: "This program saved me when I was young.  I would never have been able to succeed without it.  Therefore, in order to ensure my security, I must make sure that nobody else gets access to it, never."


The only real benefit here are the tax breaks for the rich, which falls purely in the supporters of the bill's values.  They'll just take the money and run before anybody complains about the consequences.  And if anybody dares to oppose them?  They'll just turn it around on them and say they're being unreasonable.  Just remember - every time they raise concerns about the opposition, they're projecting their own insecurities on the other side.  Rampant hypocrisy from the GOP is nothing new.  This is a party that plays heavily to a scaremongering crowd of lapsed values, all while secretly indulging in the very acts they claim to oppose.  Some of the biggest outcriers of the corrupting influence of Gay people have been caught doing sexual liaisons with the same sex.  More Republican men than Trans people have been caught doing perverted acts in bathrooms, which makes one wonder just who they're protecting, and where their concerns really lie.

The only promising outlook is that the Senate may not be willing to pass the Bill as it exists in its current state.  (Being less fans of the bill than the Democrats)  But given how the GOP basically pushed Neil Gorsuch into the Supreme Court via the Nuclear Option after constantly filibustering any of Obama's choices, it's not looking too promising.  Maybe they'll retaliate by underwriting a clause saying that the Republicans should be subject to the same pre-existing conditions, but I wouldn't put anything past them at this point.

Appreciate Women Day

Ah, Spring.  The time when a Young Man's Fancy turns to... Sports.  What?? Girls?  Who's got time to pay attention to them?  Those balls aren't going to hit themselves, y'know.  What's that other saying?  April Showers bring... Mudders.  His Father was a Mudder.  His Mother was a Mudder.

Incidentally, a similar plant was sent over to Peter years ago.  They must use some special kind of fertilizer over there.

Strangely enough, the flower is Larger in the Daily than the Sunday comic.  As it turns out, in terms of talking about the fairer sex overseas, Peter doesn't dwell on the subject much.  Probably because as an example, he uses the Ancient model of Fertility Clay Statues, which appeals to a very very select few.  Well, more in the past, when a little meat on the bones was preferable to seeing your ribs, and a more modern society like his Ocean Pen-Pal would prefer The Cute Chick model.  In other words, No Fat Chicks.

That, or they're so advanced that they no longer have or need access to Women, thriving solely in a sterile Asexual society  For paying proper respect to Women, Wily falls closer in that vein.

In the throwaway panels in later installments, Wily goes into the invaluable and incalculable amount of devotion that can't possibly be paid back.  At least not in monetary units of value.

A Little Pick-Me Up

Okay, complicated personal pun coming up.

A few days ago, I was doing some basic grocery shopping. I bought some stuff I was running low on (or what I figured I should stock some more of). I bought some Tomato sauce, some Pizza bits, and Raisins in a box. However, my backpack was getting pretty full on account of filling it with so many books, and I was worried about getting the pages warped from the frozen Pizza bits.

So I piled most of the smaller stuff on top, and the top-heavy stuff near the bottom.

When I got home, I was horrified to find out that the zipper in my backpack (where I was carrying everything) had unzupped (I know that's not a real word, but it should be) to the point where my books fell out.

I was extremely nervous about the prospect of having to retrace my steps to find anything missing. Fortunately, none of my library books were gone, and I put my Pizza and Tomato sauce away.

It was only later that I realized that I forgot about the box of dried fruit that I put on top, and that must've fallen out from behind me.

In other words, I lost my Raisins through my Derriere.

Normally, the story would end here, but it turned out there was more to tell.  I posted the above on Social Media, with little reaction from my small circle of friends.  My family was more receptive, and two days later, I got a text from my Mother saying she was out shopping, and asked if I wanted any raisins, and wanted to know if I'd gotten any more.  I gave her a reply... one hour later.  By then, she was no longer in the store.

Later, my Father confronted me, saying he had something interesting to tell me, and asked me an unusual question: Did I happen to lose a box of Raisins recently?  Because when he went out to get the mail, he noticed that there was a box of Raisins just sitting on top of the mailbox, where I went a few days earlier.  He figured, "Hmm.  Somebody's lost their Raisins.  Good thing it wasn't me."

It was only later that he heard the story from Mom that I posted earlier, that he put two and two together, and figured that two missing boxes of Raisins was too much of a coincidence.

Incidentally, I looked around that same area a day later, but was looking more at the ground than on any overhead flat surfaces, figuring that if anybody happened to chance upon a gift of free food, they'd jump at the opportunity to make it their property.  But our neighborhood is so safe and offense-free that no one bothered to steal a container of sweet dried fruit.

So basically, I knew that a box of Raisins fell out of my backpack, and so did my Mother.  My Father knew some books fell out, but didn't know about the lost Raisins, since he doesn't frequent online opinions much.  He also knew that there was a box of Raisins on the mailbox, but didn't think it was mine.  As he said later, we all had bits of information, but we hadn't quite put all of them together.  Very much like those Soap Operas where characters do foolish actions due to complete misunderstandings.  And you're mentally screaming at these characters for not revealing their innermost thoughts.  "SHE LOVES YOU, YOU IDIOT!!  CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!  ONE SIMPLE PHONE CALL COULD RESOLVE THIS WHOLE STUPID SITUATION!!"  But the audience has the luxury of knowing what the cast doesn't know, and being aware of the conventional cliches the players are totally blind to.  It's not that smooth in real life.

So, my Dad went back to the Mailbox to see if the Raisins were still there.  (Spoiler alert, they totally were)  He joked that since they were out in the sun, they'd been dried even further.  Though the moisture from the plastic casing when it rained the other day probably offset it somewhat.  Even though they'd been out for a good two days, they still tasted pretty good.  A simple matter of rewashing the wrinkled grapes and putting them on a plate to dry off was enough for me.  I paid a good $4.00 for these Raisins.  I'm not letting them go to waste.

And by total coincidence, today is National Raisin Day.

Paleolithic Stone Soup

Before Jan Eliot started out with her comic strip Stone Soup, she started out by testing the waters for a potential audience with a weekly feature, Patience and Sarah that was loosely inspired by her family relations, with a smattering of For Better or For Worse behind it.  After gaining a cult following for three years, she was able to expand her repertoire to another larger newspaper, the Eugene Register-Guard under the monkier Sister City.  After five years there, it was picked up by Universal Press Syndicate and rechristened Stone Soup.  Though, by looking through the early uncollected comics, Sister City seems a better fit.

This early sample shows a first draft when Holy was originally named Sarina, and is probably the closest we'd ever get to seeing any of Elliot's early work.  For now, we'll have to be content with these samples of the first few months.

If we discount the first provided sample above, this would officially count as their first weekly comic.  Keen observers will notice a subtle difference between the lead sibling's hairstyles, and more varied body language and movement between panels.

Interestingly enough, the Mother, who would become a larger focal point in Stone Soup was more of an off-screen presence in early strips.

If there's something I have to confess, I've never actually found Stone Soup to be particularly funny.  The characters don't really speak to me, and are rather one-dimensional in their attitudes.

This comic for instance is a direct rip-off of an old Garfield comic, and expanded to the point where the humour loses its impact.

A single action (spanking and name-shaming) divided into two separate panels is the kind of thing that drives me nuts.  There are ways to combine consequentive actions effectively, and some cartoonists don't seem able to bridge that divide.  But this is still early in Jan Eliot's career, and maybe she was having an off day.

Strangely enough, the very next strip has a three-panel tier, when the majority of her comics are four-panels.

After a month of being an invisible presence, we get our first look at the Mother, whose look is pretty similar to how she'd look later.

It would take another month or so before she would appear again.



The month of September is missing from the online archives, so baring a physical copy elsewhere, there's a gaping hole in this collection.  But that's fine, since we get to move on to the second notable half of Sister City:

The presence of the Mother's sister and her baby, who's remained stunted in the same age bracket years later.

I mentioned earlier that Sister City was a better fit, and this strip shows why.  If we take the relationships between the women as a given, then obviously their tortured arguments between each other would be considered greatly identifiable for anyone who's experienced such things.  (And why it doesn't speak to me)

For the most part, Sister City mainly focuses on the younger siblings, with the occasional input from the Mother.



From these samples alone, Alix seemed to be quite popular for her outspoken and unreserved attitude towards life.

And of course, Holy, the older sister would never pass up a chance to lord over her younger immature rival.  I oftentimes found Holy's attitude grating.

Occasionally, there would be the odd strip that would be the size of a Sunday comic.  There was no clear pattern to these, but it's likely Jan Elliot was preparing herself to try to experiment with a slightly larger format before hitting the big time.


The remaining month of 1990 revolve around Christmastime, and since Spring's just getting over, it seems a little out of season.  There's celebrating the holidays early, and there's celebrating the holidays EARLY.  (Only 240 Shopping Days until Christmas!)  But for the sake of completeness, I might as well get it over with.



And in conclusion, one more Sunday-esque comic showing the vast disparity between Alix and Holy.

Referendum Neverendum

I always thought Mr. Bellows looked a lot like Lucien Bouchard.

As disastrous as the U.S. election was (with political repercussions yet to be perceived), there’s at least some semblance of recovery, even in the face of overwhelming opposition against the status quo, the Brexit situation is just as unnerving.  Other countries are now attempting to separate out of sheer distaste of the surrounding countries they’re associated with.  It’s as if the older generation were disfranchised with the advantages Millennials got, and instead of taking to heart of all the sacrifices their ancestors made to provide for their current state of living, instead decided that the current generation is simply too soft, and needs another war in order to appreciate what they already have.  The current political situation overseas is bringing up painful memories of ages long past.  I may not be alone, as others may also be experiencing trigger warnings from current events.

In the mid-90s, there was a humour columnist in the same vein as Dave Barry, Josh Freed, who coined the term, Referendum Neverendum to describe the constant votes in the Province of Quebec on whether to secede from Canada.  Believing that Quebec wasn’t as respected as the rest of Canada, the PQ (Parti Quebecois) Party felt that they would gain more respect as a singular country, despite not having any definite plans for future prospects,  jobs or even a replacement currency.  In the words of one of the PQ’s more popular members, Lucien Bouchard said, “Canada is not a Real Country.”

To get an understanding of the kind of political turmoil that was typical around the 1970's, refresh your memory of the October Crisis.  Outbursts of violence were rare, which made the situation even more tense, because there was so much pent-up frustration just waiting to be unleashed.  1995 was an extremely tense time in Quebec, because it was the closest the Separatists ever came to actually separating from Canada.  Originally intended to hold a Referendum in spring, plans were pushed back until they could finalize an appropriate question that would cover all possible loopholes and leave no room for negotiation.  The accepted wisdom was to wait until ‘Winning Conditions’ were favorable.  An Air Farce skit (the Canadian equivalent to Saturday Night Live) had then Separatist leader, Jacques Parizeau hem and haw over which month would be the best month to hold a Referendum election.  He tore through a calendar, rejecting various months over reasons one or another.  “February?  Too short.  March?  Too windy.  April?  Too wet.  (...)  July?  Too hot.  August?  Too close to July.  (...)  November?  Never hold a Referendum in a month with the word NO in it.  That brings us to December.  Having settled on a definite month to hold a Referendum, I have yet to decide on which year.”  While intended as a joke, the actual date for the Referendum was on October 30th 1995, over six months past the first planned date, drawing out the suspense.

In addition to being cagey with the Referendum date, the PQ was notorious for creating an overly complicated questionnaire over whether to Separate or be part of Canada.  Just read the following and see if it makes sense:

Do you agree that Québec should become sovereign, after having made a formal offer to Canada for a new economic and political partnership, within the scope of the Bill respecting the future of Québec and of the agreement signed on 12 June 1995?

It couldn't be any simpler!  If the people could actually understand that impenetrable labyrinth of Bureaucracy Gobbledygook, stonewalling sanctions couldn't get passed, and nothing would actually get done.  This wasn't the only bag of dirty tricks employed - devoted believers made their contribution by de-voting election results in rejecting ballots for the ‘No’ side, over claims that they weren’t sufficiently “checked in” properly, according to the whims of the zealous administrators.

Canada was visibly unnerved at the prospect of Quebec potentially separating from them that mass numbers of them flew over via Air Canada at a mass rally to show their solidarity with this sole wacky Province.  Ontario may be considered the so-called brain, but Quebec is the Heart.  Only 15,000 people were flown over, but more curious spectators showed up to bolster their support.  If other countries had done the same, instead of heavily relying on their superior knowledge that everything would proceed as business as usual, would Brexit still have happened?

Answer: e.  Rally?  What rally?

Among the conditions for allowing Quebec to separate from Canada was a consensus of an average of a 50% plus one vote.  Quebec voted with 50.58% NON to 49.42% OUI.  It cannot be overstated or emphasized enough:  the results were VERY CLOSE.  Parizeau then blamed the results on “money and the ethnic vote”, which forced his early retirement.  (Even in a Multi-Cultural society like Canada, a lot of resentment stems from being uncomfortable around the presence of immigrants)  There were suspicions that the mass migration of Canadian citizens across the Provinces cost them the Referendum.  After that, enthusiasm to separate has largely died off, and promises of separating no longer have the same appeal to younger voters than it did to the half of the population back then.  Indeed, there’s a lot of grumbling over the redundant need to separate in the first place.

But that hasn’t stopped the Separatists from trying their damned best to try to get their points across, no matter how much it hurts their bottom line.  One of the more zealous hard-liners was Premier Bernard Landry, who was famous for his outbursts and losing his temper, and calling the Canadian Flag “A Red Rag”.  One small newspaper article at the time had a story about a laundromat that suffered some bizarre damage.  The headline read: Laundry Explodes, and at the time, I thought that Landry got so upset over something or other that he Spontaneously Combusted.

For all of Landry's bluster, the most visible face of the PQ remained Lucien Bouchard, who remained popular, despite failing to deliver on his Fairy-tale promises.  Ironically enough, for a man who was relentlessly parodied on Air Farce for making mock Nazi salutes, and his preference for Arrowroot Cookies (normally reserved for babies), his saving grace was in resigning from his party when there was negative associations with Anti-Semetic elements.  That alone elevated his status in my eyes when his previous attempts were aimed at fighting for a doomed cause.

It was our hope that after the dismal failure of the PQ and the Bloq Quebecois that there would never be another Referendum that could potentially break up Canada.  Why spoil a good thing?  Even with the influx of old-timers who long for the day when Quebec is a solely French country, the most they can muster up is a mere 36%, nowhere close to what they'd need to convince another needless election.  But the division of countries like Britain and Scotland is bring attention to this dead horse issue again, in the faint hopes that if they succeed where they failed, then maybe there's still hope.  I, for one, don't look forward to such a possibility.  I don't want these countries to fall to ruin over misplaced pride, but I also don't want my country to be broken up over something so trivial.