Weird Romance: Krazy French Poodle

If you're a comics fan, you probably know all about the so-called love triangle in Krazy Kat by now. Typical inverted formula goes as follows: Police dog loves Kat, who loves mouse who hates Kat by throwing bricks at him/her. Kop hates mouse, and tries to intervene, even though Krazy never notices his affections, and mouse throws bricks more to infuritate kop than appease Krazy. However, for brief intervals, there was an extra inclusion to this formula that would throw this whole rigmarole out the window.


































Miss Mimi, the school poodle would teach her French lessons, much to the dismay of the only other feminine icon of KoKonino County, the resident gossip-monger, Mrs. Kwakk Wakk.


































Apparently being openly available and constantly teasing the residents of Coconino County without giving any interest in any of them was considered something of a large scandal back then. Of course, a woman's worth is determined by the man she's with, not by what she does. Also, accepting apples seems to be a symbolic metaphor for something, but damned if I can figure it out. (Usually, it's the male being tempted by a female seductionist)


































This had the unusual result of Miss Mimi being the sole interest by ALL THREE members of the main cast. This is quite an achievement when usually neither of them can ever agree on anything. Particularly Ignatz who dislikes Krazy simply because the Kat is black. (When Krazy is white, Ignatz is more affectionate, and when Ignatz is black, Krazy is hostile towards the mouse) This area of racial identity has been the lead focus on Herriman's background.


































This discrepancy makes this love triangle less of a love quadrilateral and more of a love tetrahedron. All three members of the main casts revolve in their little circle around the base, while they're affectionate towards one target, who doesn't reciprocate in kind.


































Their mutual attraction towards a solitary female figure would cast further doubts about the relationship between the cat / mouse / dog, and like the Lady Spy, her brief chance in the spotlight was diminished and discarded. Though that didn't stop her from making varied appearances later on. That first image up above? That's from 1942, two years after her first appearance.


































Krazy was the odd man out due to his/her complete devotion to Ignatz, and the Kat was subsequently replaced by Don Kiyote, a more suave charismatic figure worthy of competition.


































With her pointed nose and diminutive figure, Mimi was probably the earliest example of an attractive French funny animal, predating such archetypes such as Miz Hepzibah and Fifi la Fume. However, due to her obscurity and the source material, it's highly unlikely that there'll ever be any fan art of her. Even the Tijuana Bibles would focus more on Krazy, if any were ever made for that strip in the first place. Furry fandom didn't exist back then.

Backbreaking Poses

Thanks to Irrelevant Comics, I've just found out about another comics-related tumbler theme - a collection of drawn women in awkward positions that simultaneously emphasizes their busts and rears. (I'm too polite to use the more descriptive terms of T&A) These are dozens of perfectly-toned women in awkward action (or still) panels that'd look more at place in comic porn magazines, but since such business models are frowned upon, frustrated artists are left venting their sexual frustrations on the S-hero page where they'd get a respectable paycheck. Certainly, their artistic style of choice has lent their fair share of criticism. Amazingly enough, they haven't touched on Greg Land yet, who was well known for blatantly plagiarizing his artwork from softcore images such as Sports Illustrated and Maxim. EDIT - somebody just posted a lengthy rant about Greg Land's sins shortly after I brought it up that's worth reading.

While it'd probably be more enjoyed for the cheesecake factor, there's a stronger impetus that's left unexplored here. Namely that there are impressible young girls growing up who'd have the impression that these kind of positions are mandatory in everyday life. If you don't look like a Goddess, then you must be doing something wrong. Hence the popularity of page-turners such as the Uglies trilogy by Scott Westerfeld. I was reminded of a relevant comic titled The Bellybuttons (Les Nombrils), named so because of the way the girls reveal their navels.


































Despite it's typical European BD style, it's actually a Canadian French comic by a husband/wife team that originally ran in the comic satire magazine Safarir (the closest French equivalent to MAD after Croc folded). I was surprised when I saw that pages were printed in Spirou magazine, and wondered how Safarir got the rights to show it without worrying about copyright infringement. Apparently Canadians are very low-key about our own popular products that we ship overseas. You'd think this kind of thing would be more widely acclaimed.


































It's brutal honesty of High School social life makes it one of the cruelest comics I've ever read. Karine is the nicest girl in the group, and the other two girls, Jenny and Vicky, never pass up a chance to put her down, or try to steal away the only guy who seems interested in her. While it looks like that the two bullies would prefer their own company to a typically unattractive girl, they can't stand their own company among themselves unless they have somebody else to tease.


































I'm sure you've noticed by now that the two Alpha females make a habit of intentionally putting themselves into compromising positions. They pose like this ALL THE TIME, even when nobody's looking. Check out this sequence where the girls get up in the morning.


































Despite the other two being scantly clad and revealing tons of leg and cleavage whenever they get the chance (and it being drawn by a man, no less), they're actually less sexually titillating than you'd expect. Mostly because of their overall dismissive attitude towards anyone who isn't perceived as "cool", which is pretty much anybody who isn't an immediate hunk. In this case, having someone described as "having a great personality" would work in their favour.






















While the first volume feels like a one-sided assault against Karine, the second volumes and up do a better job of fleshing out the other two girls. Jenny comes from a destitute broken home, while Vicky has a rich sister who constantly downplays every decision she makes. It may not excuse their behavior, but it certainly helps explain it. If it makes things any easier, in the lost recent comics, Karine manages to reinvent her body image while still maintaining her beanpole figure. (Yes, that brunette in the middle is the same girl)

Weird Romance: Gaylord's Girlfriend

Another comic, another relationship between bird people. One of whom is wearing glasses. Beginning to notice a pattern here? However, the relationship between Gaylord and the desirous girl is as different as Skyler's relationship with Mary Beth Malarkey. It's like night and day. While Broom Hilda is better known for being man-crazy about anybody who'd get her attention, Gaylord has a certain affection for an unnamed girl in a frumpy wig, and polka-dot shirt who keeps regularly popping up.


































While the basic setup was basically the same, the end results were more varied and interesting. They were probably closer to potential encounters that could actually happen in real life. The level of success that Gaylord has with said girl seem to vary with whatever current mood either character is in.


































On other occasions, she was more likely to be used as the punchline for the last panel of a strip, all in a vain attempt to impress the girl.








































Another major difference between Gaylord and other typically shy nerds who respect their love interests from afar, he at least tries to make the effort of having a relationship with her, even when the end results usually wind up disastrously.


































As far as I know, this could've been the last appearance of said girl before my newspaper dropped Broom Hilda (and several other comics) to make room on their page for Archie - a loss that I regret to this day. It has never quite recaptured it's glory days after that severe downsizing.

My Single Comic Commentaries

On Archie Marrying Valerie:





















On the Super Bowl:

















On the Watchmen prequels:


































On the Presidential campaign:





















On Hipsters:

Weird Romance: Mary Beth

You wouldn't think of Shoe having much romantic interest, since there's a generally all-male cast, with the exception of Roz the waitress and Shoe's secretary, Muffy Hollandaise. The former is efficient, but harried and unattractive, and the latter's such a minor character who hardly showed up or had much presence, and has been mostly forgotten by now. However, there was a reoccurring theme that was returned to at various intervals at Skyler's school - his infatuation with a certain Mary Beth.


































For most of her appearances, she was often regulated to being an offscreen presence, much like the Red-Haired girl in Peanuts. In addition, she appeared to be much more competent and smarter than the nerdy bird, making her something more of a unconquerable rival than a potential soulmate. No matter what Skyler would do, Mary Beth would do better.












Further confounding the issue are two other Marys who were briefly mentioned and quickly forgotten - Mary Beth Lederman (who was just Mary Beth Malarkey offscreen) and Mary Lou Fencepost who was also a cheerleader, though a more intimidating one. Until I checked their last names, I thought they were the same person, and had undergone a serious weight-loss program.


































Whatever the reason, Jeff MacNelly continued to return to the Mary Beth name, until he felt comfortable with the Malarkey surname. Presumably because it referenced the most famous Pogo caricature of all time.


































Skyler's most frequent encounters with Mary Beth were during Football games, which went as well as you would expect. While the general formula in Sports Manga is "small & cute will always win over big & ugly", that outlook doesn't work out as well in America given Skyler's obvious handicaps. His small size made him an eternal underdog in the face of the oppressive force of the opposing team (and fellow teammates), yet he always somehow wound up in a crucial position in these group sports.


































In another Peanuts parallel, he was regularly the baseball pitcher, with Charlie Brown's equal success rate. One wonders why any team would bother having Skyler there, let alone why he would join in the first place, since intellect is more his forte. I suspect he was being coerced into these things, which thanks to the abolishing of Gym class in schools nowadays, has become something less of an identification issue, and helped increase obesity, which could play a part in Perfessor Cosmo Fishhawk's increased current presence to an aging audience. (How often has Skyler appeared in the current Shoe strips since Jeff MacNelly died?)

















For the most part, Mary Beth Malarkey seems to be totally oblivious to Skyler's affections in her, save for when the little skylark indulges in one of his fantasies. They're not quite as outlandish as Calvin's, and they're more sports-related than usual, but they're certainly no less divided than any dream of a young athlete doing his best to impress the girl. Only problem is, her portrayal is all over the map. She's affectionate in one strip, then totally dismissive in another. This inconsistency may explain why it's not a reciprocal relationship and more of a crush than anything else .












(Minor note - until I started watching Breaking Bad, I had no idea that Skyler was a gender-neutral name)

Lou! Makes a Comeback!

One of my intended license request that was never posted was for someone to license Lou! by Julien Neel. So imagine my surprise when I found out that it was licensed, and three volumes had already been released by another company, Usharp Comics, years ago.


































I chalk up my ignorance to lack of publicity. As much praise as Paul Gravett gave it, the text review falls flat without any pictoral samples of it, let alone a synopsis. From the first book alone, it's about a young girl living with her dweeby mother who has grandiose dreams of becoming a Sci-fi writer, even though she enjoys playing V-games more.


































Lou has a crush on the cute boy next door, even though she's too shy to even try to talk to him, despite her enthusiastic personality.


































I'm really doing a disservice of this comic by not giving enough description, mainly because I want anyone who discovers this to be surprised at the level of sophistication at telling a continuous story while still restrained in 1-page gag strips. It becomes more vibrant in later volumes, with Lou finding another potential romantic interest while on vacation, who she finds easy to talk to and discovers that she might not really be in love with her first crush after all.

Yes, Lou only lives with her mother. The amazing thing is that she's rather upbeat about not having a father around.


































































There's apparently an animated series of this on the French Disney channel that faithfully follows the stories and character designs. There's 52 12-minute episodes, which would equal the "magic number" of 26 half-hour episodes required for syndication. (If one episode is shown a week, one season can be shown twice a year) With its vibrant colours and charming characters, it seems like a prime candidate for finding an audience aimed at young girls. Clips are still available for viewing on Youtube, so you might as well check them out while you still can.


































After the publishing releases fell away, there was a scanlation team of devoted fans who went to the trouble of continuing where the last volume left off. The 4th volume was a slipshod embarrassment, full of mistakes and a bland typewritten font. But they must've changed teams for the 5th volume, because the quality improved immensely from there, both in terms of translation and text. (The links are dead now that Megaupload's been cancelled)

However, just because the download links are down is no reason to despair. I just recently found out that this charming series was just picked up by Lerner Books at a very reasonable price of $8.95. The only minus is that it's got a new cover with improved artwork, which may put some purists off. That, and I have no idea of what the new translation will be like. Still, if you enjoy silly prepubescent girls (and mature women) engaging in childish antics, feel free to pick up this book when it becomes available. Don't let this worthy series go by unnoticed again.

February Blues

Ah, February. The shortest and most depressing month of the year, where the halfway point becomes another excuse from the chocolate industry to produce chocolate between lovers either starting a new relationship, or keep the current one from stagnating. Wiser heads will prevail by purchasing discount chocolates on sale the day after in bulk, then storing them in the freezer and defrosting them until next year to a wide circle of potential soul mates. just be sure that there's no expiration date or stickers still visible on the wrapping, lest your game be caught!


















Personally, I prefer Easter chocolate, because the portions are larger. There's only so many chocolates you can fit inside a heart-shaped pattern.






One of the strongest arguments against the Liz Anthony pairing was that Anthony never displayed very much affection towards Liz, and was more along the lines of a stalker admiring from a distance that bordered on creepy.

















It was as if Lynn felt that she'd given enough proof of Anthony's devotion on the calendar page,
never realizing that she'd neglected to show it in the main strip. And a comic that was already based on another unrelated Valentine's strip that was more aimed at Elly, which makes the Anthony = Lynn avatar even more obvious.










But a single "out-of-continunity" picture isn't enough to convince a devoted audience of ravenous readers of a potential love interest, no matter how popular the strip was. Very often, Lynn would claim any attempts at showing romance subplots were happening "off-screen" or "use your imagination" to explain away any such obvious loopholes. She claimed she liked having the challenge of multiple plots happening in the strip, but most likely, she was overwhelmed by the number of ideas rattling around her head. She overextended her reach without ever having a clear idea of where to stop.
















There's been some theories that Lynn Johnson (along with her son Aaron, the model for Michael) both suffered from ADD, given their inability to sit still and concentrate long enough, and their desire to cause trouble and get attention.



















Actually, the number of Valentine-related comics was also around the time that Lynn began to try to be more serious with her stories, and tried to focus on a romance that rang false. This is the only opposition and resistance that Anthony ever got from John, which is strange considering how open and welcome Anthony's presence was admired by the Patterson parents later.





There's also the old adage for interspecies romance. (this is a sanitized version of rabbits humping cats or dogs) As much as some people might object to having a romatic interest outside their species, I haven't heard much complaints about the Kermit / Miss Piggy pairing. In the following two weeks leading up to Valentine's Day, I'll be looking at some weird platonic romances that've taken place in the Sunday pages.

On that note, I might as well end off with the least romantic Feburary page. This is almost kind of a refreshing change of pace.

Political Windbags Windfall

With all the hooplah over Newt Gingrich's self-imposed portrayal of "family values", I'm surprised that no one's bothered to remind the public about the man's past behavior when Gingrich was dealing with his own martial problems around the same time he was attacking Bill Clinton for having "relations" with an intern. Remember, this is the same man who believes in not allowing gays to marry because it would threaten the sancity of marriage.
















There was a time when Doonesbury was cleverly written (if boring) satire of current events, but lately, it's become somewhat lackluster compared to its heyday. I was always disappointed that Gary Trudeau never portrayed Obama as a stethescope back when he was championing for Health Care. Heck, even a floating medical light would've been preferable. Now Obama's regulated to the corner of invisible Presidents along with Jimmy Carter, because he's become too intangible to portray. Even Feiffer couldn't manage more for the latter than a floating cloud in the form of a smile.

So with a flagging Democracy who's supported the SOMA/PIPA bill (before it was shot down due to an internet blackout*) because they were getting backing from Hollywood sponsers when no other corporations would bother sponsor them, it would be high time for the Republicans to make a strong stand and portray themselves in a flattering light. (While diverting attention away from their biggest supporters)

Only problem is, of the two representatives who've bothered to gain enough support and media hype, neither Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney are suitable candidates for the head of the party. Their actions and manners have been regulated to shouting matches, and the whole result is so embarassing that I don't even want to look. The whole point of a debate is to present a proper counter-argument to an otherwise convincing soundbite, not to let your opponent self-destruct on their own issues alone. Where's the sense of fighting and fair play there? I'd rather have a worthy opponent defeated by reasonable logic rather than have them self-implode from their own inepitude. It's cases like these that make the other side look good by default, and that's no way to run a country. Similar to how it was better that Hitler was kept from being assasianated, because doing so would've made him a martyr, and he was already doing such a good job self-sabotaging his own plans, the allies felt it was more benefical to keep him alive. So too do the Democrats come out ahead by letting these two hotheads fight over similar territority.

What's strange is that for all the outrageous misdemeanors and deeds that they've done, people still feel that they're the best choices, because of their name recognizeability. (The worst part may be that Sarah Palin wouldn't even rank among the worst choices) But considering the amount of damage they're doing to their brand name, you'd think they'd rethink the whole "no publicity is bad publicity" angle.

Or maybe it's not that amazing after all. Like Doonesbury, MAD was capable of producing timly comics that could remain relevant years later. I don't know when this was published (probably around the S & L scandal) but it's still timely today.


































It'd be hard to read all these descriptions and not have a name come to mind. I was planning to post these later this year, but the recent insanity of the campaign trail has has forced me to show this earlier than I ever thought.


































A minor artistic quibble - I was often confused when I saw that the rats behind the title letters didn't quite line up with the lyrics. The first four were exact matches, but after that, they were only sporadically related. Turns out they work if you follow them via how they'd look via a double-page spread, and not numerically.


































If you've ever wondered about the infeasibility of the political system, most politicians are actually lawyers who've gone on to better business and publicity. That's how they start getting their funds and arguments - from their experience in court. Does politics begin to make more sense now?























So far, the wisest course of action is not to vote for anyone with any significant value, but to vote against the most reprehensible choice, as so portrayed in this comic by Barbara Brandon, Where I'm Coming From, which is basically the Black female version of Feiffer. (Whatever happened to her anyways?)














This is not a case of choosing between the devil you know and the devil you don't, but making the choice between whether you want manure shoved down your mouth, or being forced-fed high quality fertilizer. Remember when nutbars such as Ross Perot were forced to form third parties since neither side would support their views? The only problem with that strategy was that the voters couldn't take them seriously, since there was no chance of them ever getting voted into office. Sounds perfectly reasonable compared to the current nuts currently on the job.

















*Though that didn't stop the FBI's assault on Megaupload, though that was an entirely separate organization two years in the making, which gave a definite scare to other file-sharing programs.**

**And now there's ACTA, the European global equivalent to SOMA, which is threatening on a wider scale.