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Friday, October 9, 2020

Previously Closeted Webcomics

Recently in the past year, some of my favorite WebComics had sudden hiatuses due to the creators suffering mental breakdowns and needing to take a break until they got their creative energies back.  When they did return, there was a reoccurring theme.

Elli (short for Ellipsis) of Goblins fame, after an absence of almost 2 years due to emotional trauma, eventually came out with the revelation that she'd been transgender this whole time, and was still trying to process the implications of the dysphoria.

My breakdown in 2014 was the result of me trying everything I could to ignore this side of me and just live with the dysphoria. Or at least find other ways of coping that didn't involve me acknowledging this aspect of myself. I've been to two gender specialists and I've been on hormone replacement therapy for a little over 2.5 months now. Things are going really well and even though I'm still at the beginning of my transition, I'm super happy about the results already.

I'm amazed at the way my depression and self hatred have just melted away. I feel confident, energetic, social and creative. I know that transitioning is going to bring me through new difficulties and present new problems, but I feel like whatever comes at me, can't be as bad as wasting away like I was before admitting this to myself and to those people in my life.

In a now-deleted blog post, Elli was asking for money for reconstructive surgery for her face, likening having her male face to walking around with one of those uncomfortable plastic Halloween masks.

Only when she got the proper hormone treatment did she start to feel remotely human.  It's only recently that these themes have started to leak into her work, which in any other context, would be big flashing neon signs, but comes across as nuanced.

The second WebComic to make a comeback was one of my favorites after a 3-year absence (4 if you don't include the Goat Diaries), Gastro Phobia, with a surprise revelation:

In addition to being one of my favorite humour story comics, that's a satirical take on Greek legends along the likes of Asterix, Gastro also has strong similarities to Steven from Steven Universe years before Steven Universe even aired!

They even look and act the same sometimes!  Right down to befriending a Lovecraftian Centipede enemy!  (Though that was more his mother.)  There's also some My Little Pony Friendship is Magic influence there, down to Gastro writing letters to someone he admires.

It’s as if the process of creativity was a way for these Webcomic creators to discover their true selves, and trying to wrap their heads around this newfound revelation.  And what better time to do a few days before National Coming Out Day?

Sandwiched between these two, the third WebComic to out themselves is Real Life (Which I was previously unaware of) which showed up without fanfare of helpful tags on Scansdaily:

Real Life is one of the oldest running webcomics still around and updating (1999), and while it might have a super villain as a roommate, time travel, and a casual disregard for the fourth wall, there have been plenty of story lines where it's lived up to its name. The past three weeks have been perhaps the biggest, as creator Mae Dean has not only publicly come out as a trans woman, but also had a storyline detailing her realization. It's a story that's hit me in a few soft spots and had me asking myself some hard questions the past few weeks, and I think the people here on S_D might well appreciate it. Link to the first page of the arc below.

The revelation spurred a scathingly honest 2-week introspectional confession that led me to delve into the archives, looking for subliminal signals that were always there.

The other two WebComics are easier for me to binge through.  Going through Real Life was more of a chore, since there was only the occasional storyline and several years of sub-par material before getting to the good stuff, and even the good stuff was of variable quality.  For the convenience of everyone who doesn't want to binge through 3000+(!) pages of 4-panel comics, I've taken the liberty of selecting the most relevant Trans-suggestive comics from the archives.

BTW, feel free to ignore the copyright info at the bottom of every comic.  Editing all the deadnames out would be a nightmare to go through, and not worth the effort.

This is the very first instance of Mirror-Universe "Greg", while traversing through alternate universes.  (Just roll with it.  A lot of wackyness happens.)

In another instance Greg* travels back in time and meets his younger self, who he takes the chance to push the buttons of his most secret shame:

There's an unashamed preference to enjoying Girl's entertainment, which is a bold choice for someone involved in masculine nerdy stuff.

Spot the cameo!

More subliminal reveal or unintentional signaling?  You be the judge.

The lack of stereotyping of gender roles would become a regular theme throughout, showing that preferences wasn't a fixed position.  If something is good enough, it'll appeal to everyone, not just a narrow audience.

This is probably the first instance that the concept of Rule 63 Crossdressers began to breach the surface.

Another surprise visit!

This is the biggest instance where

avatar name that would eventually become his 


In an otherwise normal comic with inconsequential things happening, there was a story-length arc dealing with parallel universes.





For the sake of completeness, I'm also including two guest comics which are thematically relevant:

Ever since my sibling outed themselves as Trans last year, I've been trying to identify with their plight, even as I don’t fully understand it.  I know what it's like to go about life without knowing what your place in the universe is, feeling slightly off-kilter from everyone else.  Fittingly enough, a large proportion of Autistics have a tendency to have gender diversity.

Playing as the opposite gender in videogames is a common choice.  Though it can be rougher for those who play as women in online multiplayer games, given the sheer amount of sexual harassment.  When given the chance, I take it to give the other sex equal time, and without fear of persecution.  But if the range of choices is too much, I prefer to randomize my stats.  I don't like to think about how every single aspect of my personality will bleed over into my fighting style.  I just want to play the game!

I know that given the chance to switch genders, I would carefully consider the options just to see what it was like, but only under the assurance that I could switch back, and maybe not even then.  The difference being that other Trans person would jump at the chance without a second thought.

I’m loathe to look at myself in the mirror, because I don’t like looking at my face.  One time, I had a dream where there was a female version of me standing beside my male self (a hairless face with softer features), and it didn’t seem out of place at all.

And yet, I have no desire to put in the effort to look attractive.  I don't really care about my looks, preferring to devote my energies elsewhere.

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