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Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Sick Photo Finish

Things haven't been progressing well for my sister lately.  Last month, she, her husband, AND the baby ALL wound up getting sick, each one getting the disease at one point or another.  Then my parents got sick too, which affected their efficiency as well.

For a long time, it looked like I alone was immune.  That overconfidence soon faded when I finally succumbed to the effects of the flu myself.  I was laid back for about three weeks.  I'm normally not someone who complains about every little ache and pain, so the ensuing disease's refusal to go away grated heavily on me.  Especially since I had a nagging cough that kept me from sleeping.

When the coughing grew too overwhelming for me to ignore, I was introduced to some leftover cough that was left hiding somewhere.  There was still some left in a bottle that hadn't been used in awhile.  A quick look at the expiration date showed that it had probably expired a year ago.  However, the contents was still quite potent, and proved to work, it's sticky substance coating the inside of my throat with healing residue.

However, the taste was so offensive, so gross that I devised an unique tactic to overcome this obstacle.  Similar to how I use chewed up portions of food to swallow pills (as opposed to drinking water, which only get stuck in my mouth), I put a piece of thin unspooled artificial fish meat flat on my tongue, then carefully maneuvered the teetering spoonful of medicine towards my throat.  This procedure wasn't perfect, since I had to keep my internal balance straight, and some droplets of cough medicine wound up splattering to the sides, but at least I managed to swallow without gagging too much.

When about three weeks finally passed, I started feeling like my old cranky self again.  That was when my sister, her husband and the baby all got sick yet again.

I've been told that this is a common occurrence, that having a baby around invites infectious diseases to swarm around, even with helpful vaccines to numb the pain.  On top of which, having a baby takes them longer to come over for visits.

They've always been late in coming over, but they apparently forgot to factor in the time it takes to dress up their little baby in the dead of winter.  A prospect which has a sort of collective amnesia where winter tires are hastily replaced for regular tires that don't work as well on slippery snow-laden surfaces.

Moral - never have kids.

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