Doc Brown: Tell me future boy, who's the President of the United States in 2016?When the Presidential Campaign started, I looked on in mild amusement over the drama playing over the Republican side. What started out as a typical winnowing down of candidates ballooned into a Reality Show that was hijacked by the presence of a real Reality Show host, Donald Trump. In the past, his attempts at running for president was little more than a national joke, not unlike Ross Perot running a Third Party before bottoming out. But Trump being there changed the whole nature of typical campaigning. While other politicians would be slightened by the merest hint of potential scandals show a sense of shame, Trump is impervious to such slights. Rather, they just bolstered his popularity, no matter how outrageous his claims.
Marty McFly: Donald Trump.
Doc Brown: TRUMP?! The Millionaire? Hah! Then who's Vice President? Arnold Schwarzenegger? And I suppose Howard Hugh is in charge of the CIA? And Ivanka Trump is secretary of the Treasury? Good night, future boy.
Their moderate candidate, John Kasich, barely registered among their voters. Jeb Bush was practically a non-starter, Marco Rubio was suspected of being an outsider, Ben Carson failed to connect, and the one gathering the most votes, Ted Cruz, was considered even more repulsive than Trump. Basically, it boiled down to what one commenter said best: "The Republican Party is checkmated a dozen ways from zero."
I started saving some of the more noteworthy articles and commentary in a hope of recording these events for posterity.
How the Republican Party Created Trump:
THE BIRTHER FIRING SQUAD HAS GONE CIRCULAR: Cruz and Rubio are thought of being born out of the country, and thus, ineligible running for President.
Trump winning a GOP debate:
Jesus.This is how well he does with Rubio and Cruz tag-teaming his ass like the Hart Foundation, AND after he DEFENDED PLANNED PARENTHOOD.
Trump on a Tweet he sent, supporting Mussolini:
Obama: I want to give Americans more affordable healthcare.
America: TYRANT!!!
Trump: I AM AN ACTUAL FASCIST.
America: I like the cut of this man's jib.
Farrakhan Praises Trump For Not Taking Money From 'Jewish Community':
CATS AND DOGS, LYING TOGETHER.
Aaaand this is why, for all the positive things I acknowledge they've done, I can't support the Nation of Islam.
Trump brought the Nation of Islam and KKK together. That's either beautiful or he' the anti-Christ.
[Walks in, read headline, turns around and walks out]
That awkward moment when a "pro black" spokesperson hates Jews so much he'll throw Black folks under the bus too.
Ben Stein Flips Support to Hillary and Bernie Because of Trump:
HOLY SH*T.
This is the man who STILL carries a torch for Richard Nixon.
These people are SCARED SH*TLESS.
Obama: Trump No Worse Than The Rest Of The GOP Field:
See, so many people don't give Obama nearly the amount of credit he deserves for being a passive-aggressive troll par excellence. If you're one of the non-Trump candidates, how do you respond to this? If you dispute it, you're basically telling the Trump supporters to go bugger off, and automatically losing their potential support. If you don't dispute it, you're not only telling mainstream voters that you're just as extremist as Trump, but you're also implicitly agreeing with Obama.
Now that even Nate Silver is starting to get edgy about Trump's chances, I'm getting SERIOUSLY worried about this guy.
Bizarrely, we might see the most insane Democratic/Republican teamup in the Congress EVER just to keep Trump from blowing up the country. And even then it'll be contentious, because half of what Trump wants is stuff they secretly want themselves but are afraid to admit, and the other half is stuff they couldn't possibly ever support. They'll happily go along with the border wall and banning all Muslims as long as someone else has to sign the final bill, but the insurance companies? The big money? There's a REASON those guys control politics, and it's precisely to keep someone like Trump from screwing up the gravy train.
Even the last Republican candidate, Mitt "Binders Full of Women" Romney was considered.
"The announcement immediately kicked off speculation that Romney plans to jump into the Republican 2016 race, as Trump's path to the party nomination becomes more and more clear."
OHHHH SH****T
Oh god, please do it, Willard. Announce you stole a nomination.
He's about to tacitly announce he's worked out a deal ahead of time with the pit bosses and he's going to get the nomination, delegates be damned. I guarantee it. And we will see CHAOS. Because if they make a play this naked and transparent, TRUMP WILL FINALLY SUE FOR REALSIES. And probably Rubio and Cruz too. And this is not shit you want taken before the courts.
Remember when Mitt did his thing unscrewing each of the three legs of a bar stool and said those three legs are the three branches of the GOP?
Remember when we thought the end result of the civil war would JUST be three distinct conservative parties?
Mitt Romney slams ‘phony’ Trump: He’s playing ‘the American public for suckers’:
Sh*t which had previously not been real continues to get so much realer that if it were any more real, it would be a sh*t-shaped Pinocchio.
The Mitt Romney speech is the whole mess in a nutshell–Romney can’t get enough distance to attack Trump, because he IS Trump. He just has more tact and less charisma. He’s standing up there saying, “Well, yes, heartless capitalism is good, yes, letting the brown people into the country is bad, yes, Obamacare will doom America, yes to all of Trump’s actual positions…but saying it the way he does is uncouth!” It doesn’t sell, especially not to people who think “couth” is a kind of malt liquor.
Trump In 2005: Outsourcing Jobs ‘Not Always A Terrible Thing’:
If THIS doesn't damage him (and it probably won't), then NOTHING will.
Making a pro-outsourcing argument to working-class whites is actually MORE likely to offend them than telling them you plan to sell their blonde daughters into white slavery in Africa.
Ha, this will have zero effect. Firing people is LITERALLY HIS CATCHPHRASE.
Donald Trump’s distinctly American authoritarianism draws equally from the wacko right and wacko left:
Trump’s authoritarianism is an amalgam not of left and right but of wacko left and wacko right: He thinks that George Bush was to blame for 9/11 and that Muslims should be barred from the U.S. Believing both of those things does not make Mr. Trump a centrist—it makes him an eclectic extremist. When it comes to policies, he actually has none in the conventional sense.
Why, Exactly, Is Trump Driving Conservatives So Crazy?:Surprisingly enough, despite remaining rather divisive in his views, Trump's fan base is surprisingly diverse, ranging from a wide swath of varying opinions.
"Trump has also exposed another, equally deep insecurity among right-wing intellectuals: the fear that their movement appeals to rubes. The conservative movement’s tightening grip over the Republican Party has coincided with its elevation of leaders incapable of explaining their policies cogently. Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Sarah Palin all drew the disdain of liberal elites for their reliance on simplistic aphorisms and poor grasp of detail, humiliating conservative intellectuals, who defended the keen minds of their heroes. Whether or not Donald Trump the human being is intelligent, there’s no question that 'Donald Trump,' presidential candidate, is not. His entire campaign operates well below the level of rational thought — it’s all boasting, absurd promises, repetitive sloganeering, and abuse. Just as email scammers intentionally salt their messages with typos in order to weed out anyone educated enough to see through their swindle, allowing them to focus on the most gullible, Trump seems to consciously repel anyone possessed of a brain. When he says he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and not lose any support, or that he appeals to 'the poorly educated,' he is broadcasting his contempt for his supporters."
Questions About Trump's Ties To N.J. Mob-Linked Figure:
Not only did voters already know about all of the Clintons' scandals, but they KEPT ON ELECTING THEM after learning about them.
By contrast, Trump has about a MILLION skeletons in his closet like this, and while his supporters don't care that he's the Antichrist, everyone else in America does.
Trump has more skeletons in his closets than a necromancer.
Donald Trump’s political triumph makes it official — we’re a nation of idiots:
"The people are getting what they want, and what they want is to have their idiocies and their discontent beamed back at them. Trump is clearly more than a media construction. He’s everything dumb and regressive about our political culture distilled into a single candidate. And he exists only because a sufficient number of Americans want him to – that’s the problem."
As much I get into arguments with fellow liberals online about whether Clinton or Sanders should be the nominee, I would vote for Nixon if he was running as a Democrat, because even he would be demonstrably more liberal than the modern Republican Party of Trump.
The truly scary thing is, I worry that neither Bernie nor Hillary might be venal or corrupt or unprincipled enough to defeat Trump, who is beloved precisely because he is evil to a degree that makes him a literal Antichrist, and his supporters love him because they're all irredeemably evil too.
A talking point between Trump & Cruz:
"On Obamacare, Cruz said, sure Trump would get rid of Obamacare but he also wouldn't let people 'die in the streets,' whatever that means. Cruz would get rid of Obamacare and also let people 'die in the streets.'"
How America Made Donald Trump Unstoppable:
Found a link to this on the blog of Mark Evanier. It explains a lot about Trump and his seemingly unstoppable campaign juggernaut, tapping into fear, anxiety and anger. A billionaire who sells himself as champion of the common man? No wonder Taibbi speaks of him as a con-man.
If You Think America’s Enemies Will Be Afraid of Donald Trump, You’ve Lost Your Mind:
This was printed in the National Review, but you could reprint it in Mother Jones with zero revisions:
Drumpf is and will continue to be seen as a joke by any world leader out there. Some may meet with him, but they'll lose respect for the US for selecting him as our President, and he'll be laughed at privately while he's visiting and mocked publicly once he's out of the country.
They will fear him like we all fear Kim Jong Un.
I'm pretty sure that's the best oxymoron of all time. (re: glorious leader)
Inside the GOP Implosion and the War to Stop Trump:
"Here is a New York Times article you may have seen. It describes the GOP's panicked, hyperbolic and yet utterly ineffectual rush to stop the Donald Trump juggernaut. As I've said before, the GOP's Trump problem reminds me of the regional and global powers' efforts to destroy ISIS. Every party sees the problem, is terrified by the problem. And yet every player has some other angle or priority that's just a bit more pressing or important. The Saudis, Iran. The Turks, the Kurds. The US, Assad. And on and on. Yet it goes without saying that Trump isn't the real problem."
"Trump is very little different from the average candidate Republicans elected in 2010 and 2014, in terms of radical views and extreme rhetoric. All he's done is take the actual GOP issue package, turn it up to eleven and put it on a high speed collision course with RNC headquarters smack in the middle of presidential election year."
News Panicking Mitch McConnell Says GOP Will Help Hillary Beat Trump If He Wins The Nomination:Eventually, I had to stop out of sheer exhaustion, because the amount of news and commentary was overwhelming my capacity to keep up.
This needs to be reiterated, because if Trump wins the nomination, he won't just be running against the Democratic Party, but against the Republican Party as well.
I just --
... you know, I still cannot BELIEVE this is happening. This is a best-case scenario that I would have MOCKED anyone for saying even six weeks ago. Yes, we all knew the Republican party was going to put as much distance between themselves and Trump as possible, but we all assumed it was going to be sort of a de facto thing, kind of like how everyone running in 2006 just tried to pretend Bush didn't exist even as they technically supported him. But this kind of outright intraparty treason -- I swear, I have never seen anything that even comes close.
Think back for a moment to how intense we THOUGHT the Clinton/Obama thing got in 2008. Even as wild as it got, and as much as people were wondering if Hillary would come around to support him, imagine if Nancy Pelosi had come right out and said "If Obama gets the nomination, we'll do everything we can to stop him." THAT is how screwed up this is, on a literally unparalleled basis on this scale of national politics.
The Republican Party bosses realize they cannot win a national election with their current base of voters, so since they ALSO cannot win an election WITHOUT those voters, the only choice they have left is to try and BULLY them into submission.
Of course, the scary long-shot possibility is that Trump STILL wins, because that really WOULD prove that he has a popular mandate of support, for all of his WORST positions, because he would have defeated BOTH political parties.
If Trump can win over the juggernaut of his intense unpopularity, Hillary's overall strength, AND his own party trying to torpedo him? We would DESERVE what comes to us as a result.
That's all well and good to say, but you and I both remember the last time that Democrats said that about a possible Republican victory, and we are STILL recovering from the Bush years.
All this said? I STILL have not completely dismissed the prospect of this being the greatest Clinton false flag operation of all time, or a massive practical joke Trump is carrying out for his own amusement.
I love how the Republicans have turned Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, two people who together embody everything that the Republicans have fought against for decades, into infinitely preferable alternatives to anyone they're offering to the public. I thought that the 2012 lineup was bad because they didn't have their starting bench in it, but this is inarguably far, far worse.
If a week before election day as RNC nominee, Donald Trump calls an emergency press conference and does this, calls Republicans all a bunch of lunatics, says that he's paid off all of the debt on either Bernie or Hillary's campaign, admits it was all a farce, and walks off laughing and shouting "Obama was the best ever!", Donald will go down in history as the greatest showman and ADD anti-hero in American politics of all time.
If you haven't reached Trump saturation point yet (and there's little reason to), there's more cartoons after the cut.
What brought my interest back was how much of the recent Trump shenanigans was strongly resonating with things that the political reoccurring character from Shoe, Batson D. Belfry, was emulating. The ironic thing was, Shoe was penned by a Republican cartoonist (the rare kind that's actually topical & funny) and was originally a take-off of former Speaker of the House, Tip O'Neil or a barely disguised stand-in for Ted Kennedy, depending on your source.
What's amazing is how much the definitive stand-in for any politician looks and acts remarkably like Trump down to the hairstyle.
Well, maybe not that hairstyle, but his later iteration, with eyebrow implants.
Adding further to the irony is that Trump started out as a Liberal, and a close friend of the Clintons, even saying that Hillary would make a fine president, before moving over to the other side.
The biggest problem with the GOP’s attacks on Trump is that they have no credibility to their outrage. They’ve taken most of the positions he’s taken, right down to the big crazy wall across Mexico; they’ve just been slightly more restrained in the way they’ve said them. That means that any attack they make is mostly going to be about the nuances of their positions vs Trump’s positions, and if you’re arguing nuance in politics, you’ve already lost. Trump compensated for his weakness in debating issues by always being in attack attack attack mode against his competitors, all of whose personalities paled in comparison. Furthermore, his method of simplifying speech also meant that he was outright repeating the claims that Republicans had been supporting on for years. Only in a stripped down method, rather than using hyphenated inflated weasel words that were incomprehensible to the common layman.
Much like how Martin Shkreli (also a Trump supporter) whose price-gouging of cheaply available Cancer drugs was vilified because of his cavalier attitude, which led to more reasonable rates available elsewhere,
so too does Donald Trump's magnitude reveal the gaping holes of logic in the GOP. And yet, the GOP can't seem to tear themselves away from Trump, out of the single reason that they're scared. Half of them want to stay in power and solidate their base, and half of them are unwilling (or unable) to compromise their values.
Leader: We need to band to get her in ord er to stop Trump fro m ruin ing our part y any further!
Group: WE AGREE!
(Five minutes later)
Group: ...We stand solidly with Trump.
Leader: Wha t happ ened?
Group: We need to band together to stop our party from falling apart.
Leader: But it's Don ald Trump!! We ag reed on this.
Group: You didn't make a very convincing argument.
Trump's popularity is bolstered further by his unflinching Politically Incorrect views, and a tendency to "tell it like it is", like the politician from Bulworth. (Only without getting down and dirty with the common people) His Fascist outlook of implementing outright order without clarifying how he'll accomplish these tasks makes him all-encompassing by saying what the voters want to hear. Too bad that 90% of what he says are outright lies. And that article was from four months ago.
This puts Trump into a realm that is not only far divorced from reality, but also further removed from common sense, which is where the majority of his followers live in. Otherwise, they'd have to own up to their own shortcomings and failings, and it's far easier to blame someone else for their insurmountable problems than go the extra mile of solving them themselves.
When people have been marginalized for a long time, they start looking for scapegoats and latching onto quick solutions to problems is the go-to reaction for an uneducated populace. A tactic that the GOP has abused for years, by telling them that everything the opposition tries to do to make their lives better, is an agenda upon their rights. So when a political candidate comes along and not only dumbs down the material to be easily understood (at a 4th-Grade level) and talks to them in a joking manner they understand, it upsets the applecart something fierce.
So far, Trump's biggest faux pas - ONE of Trump's many faux pas - is a general unwillingness to let past vendettas against him, real or imagined, behind him. The man is very thin-skinned, and not a day goes by that he doesn't go after those who've attacked him with a vengeance, unearthing past scandals and broken deals in the process. Attempts to rein in these outbursts, such as reading from a teleprompter have resulted in failure, because Trump can't help but deviate from the script whenever the need strikes him.
Fixed quotes about winning:Furthermore, Trump's vanity is such that he can't stand the thought of having attention diverted away from him, even when it could help with his platform. When Hillary was found innocent about her email scandal, Trump started talking about HIS scandals in comparison. It also doesn't help that the very idea of trying to pin down the content of his ideas is extremely vague, since he'll make wide sweeping statements without actually saying anything concrete. Trump's speeches are basically Word Salads, punctuated by short choppy sentences in easy-to-digest form, gleamed from his years working in Reality Television.
"I'm good at whining!"
"My whole life is about whining. I don't lose often. I almost never lose."
"What separates the whiners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate."
"I'm gonna whine whine whine, and I'm not gonna stop."
"We will have so much whining if I get elected that you may get bored with whining."
"WHINING."
Trump makes many many promises for the numerous things he says that he'll do to "Make America Great Again", saying as many as 50 in under two minutes. Yet, if you try to pin down specifics of how he plans to implement these plans, he'll remain vague, floundering on the issue before shifting the topic to something else, unless the interviewer continuously presses him on the question. Good luck in getting a concrete answer, because when his back is against the wall, Trump will resort to petty tricks to keep his opponents off-guard.
There's a whole bunch of books that are seeking to popularize on the popularity of Dumping on Trump, one of which is scouring the archives of Doonesbury, the few times that a celebrity figure wasn't reduced to an iconic representation. Possibly, because the mere existence of such a man was beyond believeablity.
As much fun as it is to bash on the so-called millionaire, the collection is missing out on not also including Duke's run for Presidency, which has some eerie parallels with Trump's disastrous mismanagement of his own. Duke's 2000 contrasted Al Gore's "Practical Idealism" and Bush's "Compassionate Conservatism" with his platform of "Compassionate Fascism".
That outright fascism is important to remember, since Trump is a firm advocate of Mussolini, Vladmir Putin and Saddam Hussein. (Who Americans went to war against twice) And of course, the Republicans supported Saddam Hussein... THREE DECADES AGO. Until he grew too unwieldy for their tastes. Sound like anybody you know?
Next thing you'd know, Trump'll be praising Bin Laden as a model of Muslim decency for proving to the world that all Islamics are Terrorists.
Trump: Executing him was a War Crime! It should never have happened to a nicer guy!To further bolster his views, Trump delayed his announcement of who his Vice President would be, after the massacre in France. And he handled this as diplomatically as possible, by bragging about how he saw this coming, and that this would be the resounding call for another war after a minor infraction. That's his first go-to action. How would he handle other crisis?
Aide: Sir, we've had a traffic altercation in one of the First World countries -Naturally, the Media hasn't taken his multiple offenses against the public, good taste and the Media themselves lightly. After calls for restraint, the Media has fired back by targeting the very things he's obsessive about. From his obsessive interest in the size of his fingers to looking into bribes for Trump University.
Trump: LAUNCH THE NUKES.
Aide: Don't you want some more details or -
Trump: LAUNCH ALL THE NUKES. THE BIGGEST NUKES. THE YUGEST NUKES. WE CAN'T LET THESE terrorists STOMP ALL OVER US.
Aide: Sir, we're getting reports of unrest in the Middle East -
Trump: BOMB THE HELL OUT OF THEM AND SEND IN THE TROOPS.
Aide: Sir, there's some overseas trouble in -
Trump: HAVE WHOEVER'S IN CHARGE FIRED AND REPLACED.
Aide: Sir, there's talk about forming a Union in -
Trump: HAVE THEM EXECUTED.
Aide: Sir, there's a little girl who's -
Trump: SEND IN THE ARMY, THE NAVY AND THE MARINES. MERCENARIES TOO.
Aide: Sir, we're running out of soldiers to send off on the numerous Wars you've announced.
Trump: Hmm. HAVE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS DO THE JOB FOR US.
Aide: Sir, that's not really -
Trump: THEY'RE WILLING TO DO THE JOB CHEAPER, AND IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT, WE CAN SHIP THEM BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM. IT'S WIN-WIN-WIN!!!
Aide: Sir, Vladmir Putin's recommending a show of restraint on your part.
Trump: Give him a letter of commendation of thanks for praise, and that I'll continue to be an inspiring role model as he is.
Investigator: YOUR BUSINESS IS CURRENTLY AN UNLAWFUL PRACTICE, AND IS UNDERGOING ILLEGAL DOINGS, ROBBING HARD-EARNED MONEY FROM MALNOURISHED SOURCES...Which can't be an easy pill for him to swallow, given how he still carries a torch against Spy magazine.
Trump: Here's a generous contribution.
Investigator: ...And I'm proud to say that there's no conflict of interest to be found here.
Trump Fan: Are you now, or have you ever been a Trump Supporter?
Guy: ...um... yes?
Trump Fan: And do you know any other Trump Supporters who may secretly be Hillary Supporters?
Guy: (eyes dart nervously around room) "That couple over there looks pretty shifty to me.
Trump Fan: Right. Many thanks friend. Hey, YOU!
Guy: (Secretly records entire interrogation conversation from afar)
Trump: Why should I have to pay to have my past investigated? Let others buy my books!At times, the news generates some truly bizarre stories too weird to be true, such as Trump referring 9/11 as 7/11 instead. (September 11's gotten too commercial these days) or Trump supporters being outmaneuvered by a TwitterBot, or flying around an expired plane license that would've cost $5 to renew, to claims of bragging about dating multiple women he never went out with, to his butler threatening the President, to talking in front of a garbage pile (most likely trying in vain to resell his remaining Trump products. If they were used once, chances are they're probably still good).
Parody sites have become indistinguishable from the real thing. An unnerving discovery was made that much like Neil Gaiman's Corinthian, Trump's eyes are indistinguishable from his mouth. Trump refused to appear at a triple night convention under the reason that "it might make him look too egocentric." Mr. Ego said this with a straight face. Trump once asked a Turkish reporter, "Are you friend or foe?", which may or may not have resulted the following dialogue:
Turk: ...foe?
Trump: Wrong answer.
Turk: ...is it a Duck?
Trump: You win the prize!
A theory's been bandied about that Trump entered this race as a lark.
He was nursing a lingering grudge against Obama, and he probably saw an opportunity to promote his brand. And then, he got a taste of the cheering crowds, and his polling went up whenever he said something offensive, and he got a rush from realizing that he could actually win this thing, which would be the ultimate validation of his lifelong quest to build up his virtual penis, which was followed by the dawning existential dread of realizing that he could actually win this thing, which would make him measurably accountable to other people in a way that he's never been before.
So, he can't afford to win, but he simultaneously can't bear to lose, and the two biggest problems are that a) his brain-dead supporters love him all the more every time he demonstrates how unfit he is to serve as president, which means the GOP is refusing to steal the nomination from him, and b) every single time he's had an opportunity to allow one of his opponents to snatch victory from him, without making it look like he wanted to lose, his ego overrode the situation and forced him to destroy them, which is another reason why there's no one left to replace him as the nominee.
It's like watching a Xenomorph try to force itself to throw a boxing match.Which led me to imagine a Trump Xenophobic-Queen where every time it opens its mouth, there are multiple extendable mouths inside, each with the name TRUMP clearly labeled on the side, facing against a Exo-Suit wearing Hillary Clinton. And the Trump Xeno-Queen just threw away it's extra-large boxing gloves, but is unable to land a punch on account of her puny fingers. And Clinton is just holding Xeno-Trump at bay with a single raised claw-hand, the other resting on her Mecha-suit's hip, while she watches the ineffective creature flail its T-rex arms away with a bored Benghazi hearing email scandal look on her face.
For someone who's remarkably optimistic about having enough money to pay for everything out of his pocket, Trump's been looking for outside support for funding while being obliquely vague about how much funding he's gotten. There's also suspicion that Trump may be less than he claims is actually worth.
Trump: If elected, I promise to raise Yuge taxes for Millionaires. Anybody who makes over 100 Mil a year can expect a hefty fine with no charity benefits. As a Multi-Millionaire myself, I'm willing to take the unfavorable dent in my profits for the country's benefit. I have such a Yuge income you wouldn't believe it. So Yuge, it's easily over several Billions, which'd mean I'd take an even bigger bite out of my profits.He's also remarkably laid-back, and taking pains to do minimal effort in collecting funds by simply clicking Reply All to his business contact information, hoping that one of them would respond in kind. Normally, you're not supposed to receive money from outside foreign countries such as Saudi Arabia, but Trump didn't even bother to go that far. No, he went after countries such as Finland and Iceland. In the midst of an economic depression over there. Which he celebrated and supported. And he's still receiving outside donations despite it being illegal, because what are they going to do? Make him give the money back? Add it to the growing list of crimes he's supposedly done?
Reporter: (Looks at badly-concealed back taxes) Aren't you compensating for something?
Trump: YUGE.
If he was ever arrested for any of his numerous crimes, he'd probably treat it as one of his Monopoly rip-off games.
Player: Go to Jail. Go STRAIGHT to Jail. Do not pass...
Trump: I buy the Jail.
Player: You can't buy the Jail! It's Government property! There's no price tag on it!
Trump: I buy the land the Jail's on.
Player: You mean the board? You can't do that either. It's the property of Parker Bros., formerly based on The Landlord game. Not that you'd know anything about that...
Trump: I've just released the Trump Board Game. A totally original board game that's MILES better than this silly old game!
Player: (Takes a glance) This is just a rip-off of Monopoly! With your name on it! And you just landed in Jail again!
Trump: I buy the Jail.
Hillary's attack ads are basically just repeating Trump's words, or disparaging comments from the Republican party on Trump's behavior. More than that, Hillary's spent an astounding $26 million on advertising her brand, while Trump spent exactly... $0. While he's certainly saving money, chances are he's most likely pocked the excess finances to support his business, just like he's done for every other failed business opportunity.
While it looks like he's saving money on advertising, he's actually losing money for the rest of the Republicans, since sponsors are pulling out out of ethical reasons of their own. They can't see much purpose in supporting such a poisonous man, and the few millionaires who are supporting him have issues of their own. In fact, in the process of convincing 20 donors to support him, he actually stopped after interviewing THREE of them.
Employee: We need to get some major backing if we're going to stand a chance in hell in this campaign.Despite his claims that he would be able to raise money with no problems, Trump was reduced to Kickstarter, begging for funds online.
Trump: Not a problem. I'm willing and able to make a contribution. I've made great deals before. Great deals. Deals you wished you could make a killing from. I'm committed to the people. I'm willing to make grand concessions while running on a measly $10 a day. I've done it before. This shouldn't be a problem.
Employee: Well, the NRA is interested in...
Trump: Nah, that's boring. I'll do it tomorrow.
Employee: But - what about -
Trump: You do it. I'mma gonna take a nap.
Employee: But YOU'RE THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. You should be able to do this in person.
Trump: That sounds like the words of a quitter. You're fired.
(Outside, the employee is packing up his personal office stuff into his car, and is approached by a representative of the People For Trump)
Representative: Excuse me, is this where we can make a generous donation to our favorite politician who tells it like it is?
Employee: I'm sorry, you must have the wrong building. There's no Donald Trump here.
Amazingly enough, despite this handicap, people are convinced they've seen his ads, when they're more likely remembering his appearances on TV, and mistaking that for actual advertising. It's hard to fault them, since it's becoming increasingly difficult to tell fiction from reality. Since all of his speeches are made up of sound bites of self-promotion, this memory discrepancy is understandable.
This is Trump's strategy - let the Media do the advertising for him. The very Media that he's vilified. Recently, Trump praised networks for letting them do audio-visual interviews with him over the phone instead of talking to him face-to-face. In other words, he's just phoning it in.
On the plus side, Muslims are going out en masse to openly oppose Trump's attempt at success by actually voting for a change. Previously, when an inept President was in power and started demonizing radical Islamists, there was little the Muslim community could do other than offer token offence. Here, they have the chance to avoid that from happening again. It's much easier to go against an openly hateful party when they're still weak before they gather strength. And the message Trump has been giving has become alarming enough for them to actually do something about it. His racist and anti-semetic antics have gotten so bad he's actually unintentionally helped in bringing Mexicans and Jews together.
The result has been that many Red States, which were previously strongly in favor of the Republicans, have now overwhelmingly shifted over to the Blue side for the first time in DECADES. If this happens, this would be an overwhelming shift. That is, if the Republicans don't make a habit of trying to discourage the minority vote by manipulating the polls. That is, if they're more worried about solidating power than surviving a Trump Presidency.
But don't worry - chances are he's not even really interested in being President in the first place. It's very likely that he'd just quit once he's won.
Even more fatalistically, Trump doesn't even seem interested in doing the things an actual President would do, such as being aware of how many articles are in the constitution. He just wants to win, and leave the job to somebody else more competent to do. If the Republicans had bothered to put up more of a fight and point out his faults and failings earlier... he probably would've wound up just as popular. That's what you get when you lob only softball questions at your opponents.
Despite the fact that he's supposed to bring his party together, all he's doing is fragmenting it. Half of them want to vet him out, while the other half is half-heartedly trying to support him, while also refusing to acknowledge that Trump exists, going so far as to remove his image from the Republican home page. One of his staunchest supporters, Sarah Palin, openly denounced an organization aptly named Republicans Against Trump, or RAT for short.
After cresting on an addictive high of increasing popularity, those numbers that once looked so favorable at first are now declining in a free-fall manner not seen since Barry Goldwater Vs. Lyndon B. Johnson.
Currently, Trump is scoring very lowly among Black voters, ranging from 1% to 0%.
Clinton is winning a greater percentage of the black vote against Trump than OBAMA won against either McCain or Romney. The irony being, every other Republican nomination (save Ted Cruz) outpaced or was evenly popular with Clintion EXCEPT for Trump.
While Clinton gave her candidate speech, tearing into Trump's inadequacy, who just happened to instantly tweet the very moment she suggested Trump might be instantly bashing her online. They couldn't be more in sync if they TRIED. Furthermore, her team is in a better position to handle social media in a much more sophisticated manner than Trump's megaphone-at-full-volume.
To combat against these latest infractions, Trump countered the only way he knew how - by amping up the suspense by delaying the announcement of who his Vice President would be.
Trump was playing a Reality Game by keeping who his running mate is going to be a secret, even among the potential candidates themselves. Not even THEY knew whether or not they were up for being chosen. The choices ranged from Sarah Palin to Newt Gringrich to even his daughter. ANY of whom could be Vice President if Trump decides to step down, which means that we could've have President Gringrich by default.
As it turned out, Newt Gingrich was passed over, not just because Mike Pence was pushed upon Trump without warning, but also because there was the possibility that Gingrich could've been just as much as a media whore as Trump was, stealing attention away from him. And he couldn't have that. (Trump spent almost half an hour of Pence's introduction by talking about himself instead) That, and being in support of immigration, which was one of Trump's major issues, since deporting multiple people would've been a costly and timely venue.
One potential candidate that was touted about was retired general, Michael Flynn, which prompted the following overheard conversation: “Trump-Flynn. I’ve heard him say that, kind of test out the sound of it,” one person said of how Trump is mulling the possibility. “I think it’s a brand he finds appealing.” It was treated as a joke, but he was literally choosing his vice president based on how their names SOUND TOGETHER.
Trump: Ivanka Trump for Veep! Trump-Trump! A name you can count on!
One potential Veep candidate withdrew his nomination, only for Trump to outright refuse his pulling away.
Candidate: I'm sorry, but I'm removing myself from the list.
Trump: No, you're not.
Candidate: I don't think you understand. You can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.
Trump: Well, you're staying on until I say you're done.
Candidate: You're being utterly unreasonable about this. There's no legal precedent in -
Trump: You can't stop me.
Candidate: Alright then. As long as I'm still in the running, I have a few suggestions that you -
Trump: I don't have to listen to this.
So far, the one consistent issue that he's routinely fallen back on is his support for building a wall along the Mexican border, which proved so popular the first time around. Not his support for Planned Parenthood, not his support for arresting abortion attempts, nor his raising taxes on the rich, nor the many numerous issues he's definitely supported or rejected, depending on the time of day. "We’re going to build the wall, Mexico’s going to pay for the wall,” Trump said in a state where Latinos account for 20 percent of the population and could make up more than 15 percent of the electorate in November.
Colonel Trumpet: Son, we live in a world that needs walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Steinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Carmen Sandiego, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of knowing what I don't know. That Sandiego's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you talk about at parties, you want me to build that wall, you need me to build that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. You use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. I use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
Coffee: Did you order the Code Dead?
Colonel Trumpet: I did the job I...
Coffee: Did you order the Code Dead?
Colonel Trumpet: You're Goddamn right I did!
In addition to being burned by the Republicans, the Democrats, and the Media, Trump's been called out by President Obama, his raison d'ere for running against the first Black prez for making fun of him in the first place. Just recently, Trump started saying that he sympathized with Blacks, because of how much resistance he got from... the GOP. Poor little baby. He's never had to face so much resistance from people telling him "no". It's only a matter of time before we see him going to extreme measures to gain sympathy votes.
The unintentional benefit from Trump's spouting whatever will get him the most media attention (whether he'd benefit more from remaining silent, or let his enemies suffer from scandals, diverting attention away from him, which is something he cannot stand) is that his behavior has exposed a rift of racism that was previously hidden. Thanks to his constant outbursts, his racist comments made other closeted bigots look normal, thus their emulating what they'd seen on TV exposed the lie that they were reverting back from polite niceties, and no longer needed to remain undercover. But their outbursts aren't being ignored in a nation that's supposed to be "beyond racism" after electing a Black President (who's been stymied by the Republicans at every turn) and aren't being forgotten.
There's some belief that Trump is openly disbelieving what the poll numbers are telling him; that he's tanking in every majority and minority survey. From how he's winging his campaign up to not bothering with advertising (the Media's doing it for me!) he's acting on the assumption that he's already won. Chances are, when the next President is nominated to Hillary, like the guy from Zoolander, he'll stand up at the podium and proudly thank the little people for showing so much support his way, no matter how much his remaining staff or security tries to drag him away. He'd even continue to keep running as a Presidential Candidate after the convention, much like Bernie Sanders did, upon the claim that "Hillary stole the election."
That is, if he isn't burned out already. After reaching the heights that is the Presidential campaign, if he isn't jailed or outright ostracized for his actions, what else could he fall back on?
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