Remember? Remember? The Labours of September

Remember?  Remember?  The Labours of September
The Fun Tower Season and Plotz.
I know no reason why Fun Tower Season
Should ever be forgot.

Some drunk British guy mangling the verses to the Guy Fawkes poem

Sept. 2 - Labor Day - Worker's Dilemma: 1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 2. What you don't do is more important than what you do do.

Sept. 5 - J.S. Gillette's Dictum: The only labor worth laboring for is a labor of love.

Sept. 11 - Evans' and Bjorn's Law: No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.

Sept. 17 - Vanessa Williams Crowned Miss America 1983. Later Resigns 1983 - The Rockefeller Principle: Never do anything you wouldn't be caught dead doing.

Sept. 20 - Jimmy Carter's "Lusted in my Heart" Remark 1976 - Kaiser's Comment: Never open a can of worms unless you plan to go fishing.

Sept. 22 - U.S. Post Office Established 1789 - Laws of Postal Delivery: 1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Sept. 26 - Rennie's Law of Public Transit: If you start walking, the bus comes when you are halfway between stops.